Friday, December 26, 2008

missing data


The online and public magickal journal has a way of keeping one honest with oneself. For instance if this were to be a private, sealed, handwritten journal, as were my past journals, I would not explain my absence in so many words. I would also not feel quite as sharply the pains of having failed monasticism. This is good. Failing to meet ones personal obligation, promises to the self, should be painful. I do however have excuses & justifications! HA! So basically the past 2 weeks have been utterly filled with festivities of a magnificent sort, well one, namely my child’s first birthday. This was the joy. The not so joyous circumstances involved my wife having finals, which left me without a schedule and xmas. I have found that I am rather obsessive compulsive with schedules. If I do not have one, a strict one, then I tend not to produce. I have known this about myself. I am also an active procrastinator. This leaves me floundering when my self-imposed systems are shaken. I should work on some flexibility metamorphosis. But for now I should just do what needs to be done to produce, and right now that means creating an impromptu schedule from now till my wife goes back to school, then I will need to make a new schedule. You see how this could agitate one with OCD? Ah, it is as it is, and I am in process. So, the days have not been lost.

For the past 3 days I have been fasting. I did eat on X-Mass but not terribly much. I have been weaning myself anyway, using a liquid diet, vegetable and fruit juices with almond milk. I already feel differences, even after such a short duration. I have not properly fasted in years. My current practice is calling for this.

Saturday, December 20, 2008


NOX 12:20:2008
Rituals were performed with relative professionalism. Frater Halcyon’s temple is an excellent venue. I want to do much more with the Hun-Tun ritual that I presented. Trance drumming is definitely the musical medium and the gnosis of the outer circle of participants. This ritual was more of an evocation/enchantment on an old fetish that anything else. We ritually cleansed the fetish of most old traces of sacrificial blood etc. There were some hard to clean spots. We used my son’s old toothbrush and plain old soapy water for this. Sitting around a short table covered in black cloth and a lit red candle, we each lit a stick of incense and spent some time scrubbing the old fetish clean. We then took our places with our drums and began drumming ecstatically. My instruction was that if you were not sweating then you were not doing it right. We chanted “hun-tun” allowing it to fade into glossolalia. Shortly after my stick broke rhythm began to slow down and the ritual concluded with laughter. I do not feel that the full extent of my ritual intent was achieved. This is by no fault of the participants as much as it may be the result of the residue left in the fetish itself.

Other rituals included the Spirit Detox ritual by Soror Sciurus and a protection ritual for Frater OAK’s son.

Saturday, December 13, 2008


Sunny and cold

Same practice with a bit more order. One full Microcosmic Cycle (MC) to five FFSP. So the formula used is 1MCà5FFSP. I was able to pull in on the SP for much longer today, there seemed to be more strength in the region.

Before meditating I did have an orgasm. I had this given back to me however and re-ingested it. I did feel the loss of energy for a bit but not near as badly as if the Jing had just been spit in the sink. My energy seems to be back to normal. It is impossible at this point to know, however, if this is due to the re-ingestion or if it is due to the yoga.

Friday, December 12, 2008


Sunny cool day

Same practice. I practiced freezing fire and sacral pump activation (FFSP) 32 times consecutively. After this I rested and allowed the energy to move through me naturally. During this time I seemed to be viewing the clouds of creation in Orion’s belt. There was an absence of body for some time, no buzzing no aching in the back, nothing but a rhythmic breathing. I did notice the ticking of the clock as I came in and out of deep meditation. I mention this only because of the strange nature of this occurrence. At times the ticking would be quite fast and at other times it seems quite slow, and in the same at times it would seem far away and other times as if it were directly in my ear. I m going to leave off without mentioning what this may mean concerning the bodies expansion and contraction as well as the relativity of time as the practitioner moves in and out of deep gnosis.

After cycling the microcosmic orbit for a bit longer and FFSP I settled in to use the slow fires. Before I did this I decided to go ahead and swallow the elixir from the heavenly pool. I decided to consider the Xaobala and perhaps discern where in the body some of these planetary influences may be. I didn’t get very far. I didn’t realize the impact that finding the sun, the center of the Xaobala, at the Solar Plexus would have. Activating this region sent me off on a completely fresh Gnostic experience. At first the solar plexus filled my body with a light, a pulsing light. This had the physical sensation of the “electrical” feeling that I have mentioned previously but was different somehow. First, the electric sensation was that of light and second it was moving in discernable pulsing waves out of my solar plexus into the rest of my body and beyond the body boundary. I ended up expanding out into the solar system itself, the planets revolving around my mid section. I was reminded of a meditation of Crowley’s, an AA meditation I think. At any rate I realized that while the macrocosm and the microcosm are the same they are also distinctly different and that trying to find the similarity between the two, or the pure links between the two are the same as trying to name or classify the Tao itself. The connection is the Tao. This dissolved after some time, or I expanded out further past it and was floating thoughtlessly in nebulous clouds or something similar. I came back shortly after this and ended the meditation.

Thursday, December 11, 2008


Cloudy, break in a huge storm covering the SE, not over yet

Same practice as yesterday. Nothing particularly interesting to note. There has been a pretty cramping obnoxious pain in my right lower back. I don’t think it is kidney due to the nature of the pain. I did send Jing directly from my stove to this region. I immediately saw a brilliant white gold light in my entire visual field. I did this again to no such effect.

During my cycling and Jing cultivation I thrusted Jing up and into tsu ch’iao. Shortly after this I leveled out for the slow fire. I experienced the familiar electric body. When this dissipated I broke posture. My left leg had gone numb, the worse meditation limb numbing I have had in quite some time.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008


Day 1/100
Rain, Thunder, Lightening, (tornado watch till 2pm)

Today began a 100-day Taoist yoga monasticism. Naptime (my son’s) is the best time for this to happen. There seems to be no other time. Today worked well.

CEPC. At the end of each cycle I practiced Freezing the Fire and activating the Sacral Pump simultaneously. This combination of methods was quite intense. I experienced first an indigo light blazing before my eyes, which lightened as the meditation advanced. There was the feeling of being under black water (primordial lake?). From this water came a blue green scaly female demon thing that seduced me and caused me to get an erection. I immediately used this by cycling and activating the sacral pump with the freezing fire method, firmly trapping all of this Jing in my stove. The image dissipated and as I continued cycling the indigo light began to head toward a light gold. Note: I would not call this “The” Golden light, but I think it was heading that direction. When the light faded I was overwhelmed with an electrical charge that filled my body. After this feeling faded I used the Cooling Fires and ended the meditation.

I have had the shits for nearly 2 hours and allot of abdominal bloating. Having green tea rather than coffee this evening.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Fire Cupping

So it seems that any good Taoist should have a method of healing. This can be used on the self or on others. It can be a philanthropic past time or a medical practice. But the Taoist practitioner should practice a healing art of some kind. There are many healing arts within the Taoist paradigm, qi gung, acupuncture, herbalism, tui na, moxibustion, shiatzu massage, etc. The one that I seem to be drawn to and have begun to practice a bit is Fire Cupping. Fire Cupping seems to predate acupuncture and since acupunctures development has been used in combination with it. Fire Cupping has also been used with what is called a seven star hammer. The seven star hammer is a small hammer with seven needles that are used to irritate the skin on and around an acupuncture point, the fire cup is then placed on top of this. The fire cupping method involves the placement of heated or fired cups on the patients skin. As the heated glass cools or the fire extinguishes suction to the patients skin occurs. This suction pulls qi through the area loosening up any stagnation that may have developed in the region. Traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) indicates that qi will moves along certain lines on the body called meridians. There are points along these meridians at which the meridian may be best manipulated by acupuncture or acupressure (i.e. fire cupping). Fire cupping is less invasive and people are much more willing to give it a try and let a beginning practitioner work on them. I am considering acupuncture however and do have a couple of patients lined up for this.

So far my work with the cups has been of mixed review. This is not a far assessment however as I have really only recently begun to study the meridians and traditional points along those meridians. I have two patients with shoulder pain. One I worked on placing the cups where I “felt” they should go. This patient reported an instantaneous release from pain and an increased range of motion (ROM). This faded after 24 hours. Additional reports indicate that this patient has not complained about the shoulder in several days. An encouraging sign.

My second shoulder case was nearly identical. This time I followed traditional meridian lines as well as “feeling” them out. This was last night and the patient reports a more generalized pain, as apposed to pain in a specific area of the shoulder. He has also indicates increased ROM. The patient indicates that the overall problem with his shoulder is in fact better today. He has suffered a strange side effect however. I would no say strange as much as unexpected. There seems to be an intermittent aching in the elbow. The fact that it’s the elbow does not surprise me. Several points I cupped on him are affect this elbow as well. The fact that there is an aching may indicate a shift in the diagnosis and some changes in the way I work with this patient next time.

I have had success with a patient’s hip pain. I have not heard this patient complain or otherwise indicate that he needed to me to work on this area again. When he was at my house the other night he could barely walk. After the cupping there was an immediate relief of pain that seems to have continued to get better. This was after one cupping session.

My success with upper back and neck pain has not been quite as dramatic. But here is the deal. The patient that I have worked on and had great success with also does allot of meridian qi work. This individual is a daily practitioner so his upkeep of the meridians after they had been opened and cleared would be strong. Also I have only ever worked on a patient’s specific issue once. I have not yet performed a secondary session on any patient. I feel that this will be necessary for more stubborn cases. I do not believe that the cupping technique is a one-time fix.
(Oh yes, if any of my patients read this please feel free to comment candidly concerning your experiences and or current states)

Saturday, November 22, 2008


This NOX was quite an adventure but one well worth taking! Frater Beenja has had to take a leave of absence for personal reasons so we seem to be somewhat of a transient temple. This being said we certainly are innovative.

Frater Usul, Soror Sciurus, Frater Fiducia and myself met for sushi, entertained one another and entertained a potential new SEUSS member. We deliberated shortly on ritual space before deciding firmly on a hotel room. There was one directly across the street. So we separated, Frater Usus and myself headed to the temple to pick up the egregore and other ritual tools and the others prepared the room by moving beds and tables etc.

The space was really quite nice. Open floor with a bedside table for a main altar. Our group egregore sat sternly behind two burning black candles and we began the proceedings. Opened by GPR and got to work.

Frater Usul presented first. We performed a healing ceremony for a Frater. A machine of a ritual. Precision oriented it seemed that this work wasted no gnosis. It took what it needed and all and used it with used it with precision.

Then Soror Sciurus presented us with a lupine delight. We nipped and bit and snarled and howled. Then we killed and fed our young. This created wolf servitors. I created mine for my son, a protector and hunter of goods on his behalf. I gave it to him the next day and he immediately named it “Dooga Dooga Dooga”. He loves that thing, even if it does smell like incense and cigarettes. My ritual was presented after the traditional purging ritual. I will spare gagging you with the details of this, Sr. Sciurus’ special treat.

So my ritual… I have neglected to write until now. I created it in my head and presented and performed from my head. Bad form. But the job was done. So this ritual, shit I suppose I should write the damn thing. Okay.

Channeling CV17 Into Intent Flags

11:22:2008 performance
Nothing in the way of actual manifestation of the specific intent has yet materialized. I should note however that I know for a fact that I fucked up the sequence. I got lost in the vibrations and completely forgot to cycle the energy. My studies of Taoist Yoga seem to indicate that this is not such a big deal as the practiced magician’s energy will follow these cannels regardless. It is distracting however when working in a group. My not being in tune with the group bothers me. I imagine that it was distracting to others as well. I would like to give this one another try, this time attending more to the sequence of the vibration in the microcosm. I think I was too focused on the mechanical structure of the ritual. This being its first performance I will forgive myself. I honestly was not positive that I would even be able to get the thing to work. But it did. So we are still waiting for any sign of actual manifestation of Will. In the meantime I think I may redo this ritual at our next NOX.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


There is a calm tonight. I directly relate this to the demon trapping aspect of last nights ritual. The more I think about the 2nd phase communication the more I think that it was an inspiration and instruction on the third phase of the ritual, the demon catching/casting off.

There was allot of communication and activity today in all aspects of my life. I felt dizzy and heady for a bit today, but this passed. There are good things afoot in several directions. A Xaosphere of delights.

Actively breaking from all activities this evening.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Talismanic working III etc


GPR to open
GPR to close

Note: I have added the CEPC to the GPR. This gets the energy moving as it should.

Ritual happened in three parts this evening. Mostly do to an overwhelming dissatisfaction and agitation that I went into ritual with. I began by redrawing the talisman. I did not use the other two to draw from so this makes my first attempt at free recall. This was performed with accuracy. The things that were different are the things that I imagine will always be a bit different as some of the talisman, or I should say on the outsides of the talisman are drawn automatically. Though I was very dissatisfied with it at the time looking back on it I did not do too badly with it, in fact I think that it worked in its own right. The dissatisfaction led me to the next phase of ritual. Phase two of the ritual was a communication. I performed a light invocation of Wen Chang Di Jun, unfocused my eyes and began drawing. I believe that I will have to sit and meditate on this communication, as I have no clue what any of it means at the moment. There is one aspect that I recognized during ritual and that was the demon trapping bowl. This part of the communication led me to phase three of the ritual. I was left after this was finished thoroughly disgusted with myself. A horrible feeling. Phase three was the full on dome capturing. I took off my glasses, leaving me relatively blind and began putting ink on the paper. I used a lot more ink than I might ordinarily in this. There were several demons captured here; self doubt, depression, xxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx, and laziness. These were collapsed in on themselves and placed behind the yang lines. These yang lines are carried with me and around me. Not so much a caging of the demons as much as a cage around the self through which particular demons cannot enter.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Tatau Ritual Tattoo


Received my first Tatau tattoo. This method of tattooing is quite meditative. It has to be. I made the sticks for my sister, Eve, who is a tattoo artist and owns the Primitive Body Art tattoo studio here in Columbus. I made the Tatau sticks for her and will be continue to make the needle mounts. I will make a pair for myself as well and we will be doing much, much more of this style work as the years move forward. I am excited to get more.

The way the ritual method seems to work is that as the tattoo progresses the pain and posture force one into a meditative mind frame. It is either this or just sit in cramped agonizing pain. I focused on Wen Chang Di Jun and my last talisman. My meditation altar was beside me and lit with flame and incense. The process took about two hours for this small piece. This was a practice piece of course thus the short time and simple design. I will be developing a much more intense ritual and design in the future.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Talismanic working II

Work with Imperial Sovereign Wen Chang
(文 昌 帝 君, Wen Chang Di Jun)
Talisman recreation
Mantra “Wen Chang Di Jun”

The development of this style is building on itself. Much like the leaning of a language or a written language rather, the process takes experimenting with the utensils and the strokes and repetition. Repetition is key to memorization and this is what this technique calls for. The talisman must be drawn, or recreated every time it is used. Further before it is fully effective, it must be memorized. In this the practitioner can draw the talisman, can follow the neuroglyphic map without being interrupted by creation, or looking over to copy. Mantra can be added to the fold, and should at a later date. I did use the mantra of the name of the deity that I am using, but this will not be the final product. The deity is charged with overseeing the productivity of and the success of the talisman as it manifests in the ethereal and attaches itself to macrocosms. The deity also oversees the interpretation of the talisman. The deity carries the talisman into the spirit world and sees to its activation, follows the map to its end. My wife had an interesting comment about the talisman this evening. When I was finished and she came into eh study she saw it on my altar and noted that it looked like a treasure map. So right she is!
So the basic rundown of the method is, create talisman, recreate talisman adding to it until it is complete and memorized. Once the talisman is memorized I will be figuring out a grand finale ritual to blow it up.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Talismanic working

Altar lit
Meditation with SOI as mantra
Talisman created. Not charged. This will give me something to do tomorrow night.

The creation of the talisman was however somewhat of a charging in its own right. There is a good bit of gnosis that goes into the Creation of one of these things. Without gnosis the whole thing is a bust from the get go. The point is that this is a system of lines drawn out from the unconscious mind, brought to the surface by agitating the depths of the mind with trance. When this moment bubbles over itself and into the lines and the gliding of the brush on the paper you have a map. This talisman is a neuroglyphic map. We do not create these they are discovered and then can be used to achieve the Will simply by following them, the same way one would follow a map. This will come.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Should You Wonder

So, Should you wonder what the hell I've been up to and why my XaoTao journal has suffered so terribly as of late. Check out my alter ego at:

My focus has been on family and working nights. There is a present shift. Not a paradigmal shift, but a inter-paradigmal shift. I will know more as the water settles. Things are good. I am exhausted, but things are very good.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Dragon Copulates with the Tiger

GPR & Sublimation
Very intense sublimation mediation tonight. When my shit opened up it all opened up. I have learned to recognize it coming. When my mouth begins to fill with fluid its coming. Then my left eye fills and overflows. My sinuses opened up like last time, only much heavier this time. My nose began to full on run. My right eye opened this time and my right sinus so that my eyes and my nose were running profusely.

Vision: A hooded, half masked bust came at me from the incense cherry. It took on the form of a demon. It seemed menacing, and it seemed to question my right to be there. Where? I don’t know whatever mental state I was in at that moment in space and time. I was a bit tranced out. I must have slipped into a particular mind-field. So at any rate this annoyed me. In my mind I thought at it, “I am that I am, I am your Master.” With this it promptly dissipated back to wherever it came from. And I back into a relative no-mindedness.

When my mouth was full I swallowed the fluid into my Tan Tien. I closed my eyes and crossed them hard. This had a dizzying effect that seemed to hurl me backwards into myself. There was quite a lot of mental neuro-technics and then a very smooth calmness. There were a few moments of in and out no-mind Gnostic trance. The overall feeling was that of calmness. AHA! Fire into Water, the dragon copulating with the tiger! I will need to do some more research into this reaction.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

dullness skipping out


I ate to dullness this evening. Not sure how this happened. Rice and Beans sit heavy if one is not careful. At any rate I am too dulled to meditate. I would have thought that this would settle but it is not. Shit, I know exactly how this happened. I have been bottling wine this evening. Of course, as I bottle I must take a sip, or sips rather to insure quality. Well, I discovered that while the quality is pretty low the alcohol content is pretty high. This was the goal. I ate with quite a buzz on and a belly full of young, young, yeasty wine. But on the plus side there are ten plus bottles of wine in my back room for Halloween! Okay, perhaps this would be a good time to work on my mundane journal. I should call it my career journal and I should cast upon its head! Right after I fill this next bottle. When I get the sight up and running I will post a link. I don’t mind it going from here to there, just not from there to here, for obvious reasons that will be even more obvious when the nature of the ‘other’ blog is seen.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008



Sublimation. Closed channels.

This sublimation was a bit different. I felt that it was past due and it was. I was at the foot of a great white mountain. I crossed my eyes to look inward. This had a much more pronounced effect than I expected. I became a bit dizzy and disoriented. I was not sure if this was good for the sublimation process so I quit. As gnosis mounted I began to feel more at ease with the process. I was being coached to relax and not try so hard. The idea was to not try to force sublimation but to allow sublimation. There is no doing this. There is only created the mental and physical environment in which sublimation can take place, and then it will. I crossed my eyes again and concentrated myself inward. This time the dizzying buzz seemed to balance rather than disorient. I was humming now with an energy that was vibrating through the microcosmic orbit. And the left eye ducts opened. My mouth filled with fluid. My sinuses pulsed and seemed to swell. This was a new sensation. I feel a bit head coldy now. Strange. Perhaps the illness that I was pushing out of me was residual from the cold we have all had. Perhaps I need to do this a few nights in a row just to be sure I get it all.
Further note: I began to feel an ache in my testicles shortly after this meditation. I messaged the ducts and it seems to have helped a bit.

Monday, October 27, 2008

NOX (Night Of Xaos)

NOX notes

The evening began with a meet and great dinner during which I met Frater U for the first time. This was a very pleasant experience and it seems that we will all get along splendidly.

As for the ritual workings I must admit that I don’t have very clear memories of the night. I could explain this away by saying that I was drunk, though I had not drank as much as I have been known to. It seems that my memory and knowledge of the evening seemed to give after the MoCB.

I performed this invocation after drawing the devil card in a lottery. Frater U performed the litany and J, F and S aided. I smoked a spliff of incense dedicated to the purpose, dropped my pants and squatted over the fire trying to start it. I must have been trying to use my kundalini fire as I couldn’t seem to get it lit. The invocation began to take during this process. I have fleeting memories of sticks scratching my balls, being pissed because I could not get to the wine and subsequently trying to break it open, being popped on the ass (thanks U ;-) and being held to the floor face down.

After having read Frater U’s account of this ritual I realize that I was deeper in than I thought. I do not remember trying to leave the temple space. Also it seems that my being pushed to the ground was not that but was Frater U performing the exorcism.

After the ritual I was completely unable to partake of the wine that was consecrated. It burned like fire going down and instantly made me nauseous.

The ritual to create the group Egregore was a bit of a blur for me. It seemed that we were enveloped in wilderness. This wilderness was dark and confusing. Frater U’s dismissal of Terminus seemed to go well. There was some council fire deliberation before the invocation of the Grandmother Owl that was good and set the mood for the remainder of the ritual. I will not go into detail; as to be honest I cant. However the emotion that was left was one of love, deep intimate love and fraternity. I do remember bringing the Owl around the circle and giving her to everyone to hold and love. This must have been when the energies we gathered were fused into the fetish to create the egregore.

Frater U performed the invocation and seemed to sway and soften. His voice became soft and strained. The egregore seemed a bit shy, perfectly natural for an Owl. The name was divined as well as sacrificial offerings.

I performed Owl Tai Chi to the lighting of the Kuei candle to open the portal allowing the ancestral spirits of our area and each individual’s desired Kuei’s passage.

There is much more to be done with this egregore and her brood.

Sunday, October 26, 2008


Rest and Recovery

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Sunday, October 19, 2008

specific daily practice


Specific daily practice (i.e. within cast circle) has been sparse. I did go to the temple once last week and performed a divinition for someone and made sacrifice to my Keui. General daily practice has been constant. This paradigm has a way of infusing itself into all of ones daily actions. Cooking and cleaning for instance take on a specific spiritual context. There is the kitchen god, Tsao Chun who presides in the kitchen, of course, watching the activities of the family and reporting back to the Jade Emperor.

This relationship gives one a constant awareness of action; particularly the action one is taking where family life is concerned. I am feeling that part of reason, synchronistically speaking, that I have been called to be a stay at home father is do to this paradigm. “Keep to the feminine” the Tao Te Ching often instructs. I am at this point not only “practicing” this paradigm, but living it. It has become who I am. My diet has changed, my family role has changed, the way I think of the world and the cosmos has changed. I can fairly safely say that at this point I am a Taoist. I have found the actual spiritual practice, unless one adopts orthodox Taoism, is pretty freestyle in its basic components. This is easy for a chaos magickian. The main ingredients haven’t changed, just the spices. There are some points within Taoist yoga and the way one considers sexual energies that have been difficult for me as a westerner, but overall nothing detrimental to my basic lifestyle. My magickal life is full to the brim with little to no effort. This is the Wu Wei. Playing with plastic rings on the floor and exploring the basic physics of life with my son as he discovers how things within space and time works, has given me gnosis that I cannot express. Spending time with a perfect, unadulterated soul has given me inspiration. Having breed and care giving has given my life a purpose that trumps all previous life goals. Anything that I do, create, produce, write, become, from this point forward in my life is nothing more than an added bonus to an already fulfilled life. This does not make me less inclined to do. It has made what I do what I am. I no longer strive for this act of creation that should fulfill me. I am Wu Wei. I am Tzu Jan. I am doing without striving, acting without action.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Back in the Blog

Well it has been too long. During my move I have been disconnected from most everything routine and or normal. My magick has waned, my research has been sporadic and unorganized at best, my journaling has been virtually nonexistent, my blogging, well, obviously lacking. However, I found my desk this evening. Somewhere underneath all the unshelved books, computer hardware, unhung pictures, random papers, etc etc, was my desk. And now that this space has been secured things will get back to normal. I have a few journal entries to backdate but not many, so don't hold your breath. I may just begin again from here.

Friday, October 3, 2008

when a text reads


When a text reads, “If you have not met an experienced teacher but rely on your own intellect to understand the Taoist scriptures… you will fail in your practice… and all your efforts will be sterile.” (Lu K’uan Yü, p. 51) you can be sure that this is an effort to keep a clergy class in business. You will see this not only in many Taoist texts but also in many other magickal texts as well. This is an inaccurate truth. While it may be true for many it is not true for the gifted magickian, in fact it is the gifted magickians that often develop phrases like this to keep themselves in business. Someone somewhere created the method by relying on his or her own intellect and understanding. This is the prima materia, this is the golden method! So when you publish the methods developed from your personal genius, make sure that you remind students that they need to consult you before they will understand the “truth” of your teaching. Do not forget to charge a nominal fee for these services!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

ritual to make sacrifice to your personal keui


This will be done during my Boy’s first nap of the day. Usually between 10 and 11 am.
Sublimation meditation will follow during the second nap of the day, usually around 3 or 4ish. Though he does not always take this nap.
Okay, back to some since of normalcy. The problems with the house I moved into seem to be getting worked out relatively swiftly and painlessly. I have made sacrifice to my Kuei to insure this. Another sacrifice will be in order. I have found that it is not necessary to visit the temple for this. I simply designate the sacrifice by scrawling the sigil on it. I can make these deposits at a later date. With the sacrifice designated with the sigil my Kuei recognizes this. So, sacrifices will be collected until such time that a proper send off can be achieved. I had originally intended that the sacrifice could be made at any moment from any place but it feel now that I should wait until a proper ritual action can be taken. I will write another ritual specific to the making of sacrifices. This should involve the ghost dance (Kuei Tai-Chi). The main Kuei’s altar lit and charged. Actually this ritual is should not be that complicated in form. Achieving gnosis during would be the most difficult aspect, but even this should not be hard to achieve if one’s daily practices are up to snuff. So…

Ritual to Make Sacrifice to Your Personal Keui

0. Banish
1. Light the Kuei’s altar with a single lamp dedicated to your Kuei.
2. If you do not already have your ghost money prepared charge the ghost money by drawing your Kuei’s sigil on both sides.
3. Have three appropriate vessels, one for drink, one for food and one for burning the ghost money.
4. Facing the altar perform CEPC in horse posture.
5. Approach altar and make offerings of food and drink.
6. Sit and meditate for a time vibrating the name of your Kuei as a mantra.
7. Approach altar, fold ghost money in half and hold it between your teeth.
8. Begin the ghost dance (Kuei Tai-Chi)
9. When gnosis has been entered and returned from, approach your altar and burn ghost money.
10. Banish

I should have known that saying the word “schedule” would demolish any schedule that had existed. I feel the urge to create, to do the art of this magick but I have no space, nor have any of my supplies even been unpacked. The property manager did show up this morning and will have someone here on Monday to fix the floor. This will give me more space, the study will be functioning and I will have a space to work on some things. This unsettled current state is cramping my work.

But on the upshot the rest of my life, marriage, family life, general life happiness, has increased exponentially. Even my relationship with my grandmother, the initial reason for the move, has improved. I feel like we have the relationship we had before my family moved into her house. She does not seem to resent me anymore. This has been a good move. The bone oracle and I-Ching reading were right on. Following the advice given during that ritual divination was indeed the right course. I love it when this shit works!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

not dead yet

I am not dead yet. Though it is an inevitable end.
I have been dealing with the whirlwind of results from the Kuei ritual. A major part of this has meant moving. I will be offline for a few days and will do my best to catch up. Other than that, I have made another sacrifice to fortify my stand with my Kuei. Things look good.
Peace in Xaos

Thursday, September 18, 2008

sublimation left eye

quick notes:

tears came from left eye first
and left nostril, clear mucus
took much longer this evening
full hour
eyes still blurry
filled mouth with elixer twice
not sweet, well the first was kinda sweet the second almost foul
allowed sexual generation
pushed generative fluid back into the stove
very intense energy
burned quickly
trasmission: this is nto an everyday meditation or does not have to be

Wednesday, September 17, 2008




Sammy and I were driving a truck; a small truck like a toy truck only it was not a toy. I was driving and he was sitting in my lap. We came to a cliff and I had to stand up and hold him in one arm and the steering wheel in the other to keep it from going over. I layed Sammy on the ground to try to get the truck but then realized that there was a snake on the ground. This was the same snake that was at the temple door after NOX. I thought it would be okay until I saw Sammy going for it. Then the word priorities began to repeat in my head like a mantra. I let go of the truck letting it fall over the cliff and went to grab Sammy. On my way to grabbing him I saw the snake begin to spit a brown venom at him. It then bit him in the face before I could get to him. I removed the snake from his face throwing it aside and immediately tried to call 911 but my phone would not work. I was going into a panicked state and the mantra “priorities” continued to roar in my mind. Alicia comes up to me and gets her phone to work, but by this time Sammy’s face has swollen and had become deformed. I was horrified and Sammy was going into shock. I woke up to find myself alone in the bed. Apparently I chased them both out of the bedroom with my snoring.

I have my opinions about this dream but if any one else would like to take a shot at it please feel free to post.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

dragon sublimation


Sublimation meditation.

Staring at the burning tip of a stick of incense I held my eyes open. Closed all channels, save the eyes. After about 30 minutes I felt tears finally welling up in my eyes, primarily my right eye. Then it bursts and ran down my cheek. Tears continued to flow from this eye until they ran down my chest. The eye immediately stung like hell after the tears began. Never teared from my left eye. During this the ember from the incense took on several forms. The first was a dragons face, then a cow. After awhile my eyes crossed naturally and I allowed them to do this as the crossing of the eyes is another gate to close. This allowed me to see the large dragon. The two burning sticks were eyes and the rest of the dragons head formed from the eather. I was breathing in the breath of the dragon and it mine. Pretty intense moment, but it was a distraction so I let it pass. There were several moments of sexual excitation and genital stimulation but nothing to erection. The elixir when it was ready to swallow had a hint of sweetness. Not as strong as the old texts indicate but like a honey dew, rather than pure honey.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Keui Tai-Chi Results I

Keui Tai Chi

I have already, to my surprise had results from my ritual. Filled out an app for a great house this afternoon and also received two interesting job opportunities that will allow me to make some extra money from home. I know that sounds like one of those scam things but this is not that. I wont be sowing teddy bears together or mailing things. I will refrain from further comment on this due to a superstitious nature. I will also be going to the temple to make a follow up offering to secure all this after the house thing is secure. I don’t want to be too hasty. No tips until the main course has been served.

Sunday, September 14, 2008


This day was a day
Looking at the leaves of trees
Today I saw you

Saturday, September 13, 2008

NOX (Night Of Xaos)


Keui Tai-Chi (ghost dance) ritual

This was done as part of group ritual. I also participated in the rituals of Frater Fiducia, Soror Siva(?!) and Frater Beenja. Soror Siva(?!) also performed an invocation of Baphomet.

These rituals went off splendidly. The evening began with the Baphomet invocation. The reverie experienced during the dancing around Baphomet was very intense and empowering. I know that the Baphomet was speaking and expressing powers, positions etc but my trance was a bit too heavy to remember the words exactly. I wish we had recorded this event.

The Voudon ritual was surprisingly authentic. Not surprising that Frater Beenja pulled it off but surprising in that a room full of white folks pulled such a strong voudon current. I was impressed and humbled by the appearance of Met Kalfou.

Soror Svia(?!)’s ritual purging was, gut wrenching. I only wish that I had eaten so that would have had more to contribute than some sake and stomach bile. But then shear force that it took to push that from my gut caused a pain that aided gnosis. The gnosis of that ritual was very good. I cannot remember much of it at all except the purging. The fire and the chanting and the energy flowing through the circle were strong.

The burial of Frater Fiducia did not do so much for me as I am sure it did for him. I should note however that the performance of the burial was very real, his deadweight combined with dumping him in a shallow grave felt real. There was a bit of gnosis caused by these moments of dissonance.

My ritual went well. Strange even now in my memory I see myself moving toward the circle from a different direction than I did. I was moving toward the South I invision myself moving east. The incense burned me much more than I expected. The chanting with as many incense as I had in my hands caused my to feel as if I could not breath. The dance itself was surreal. As I pull this memory from my head the top of my head begins to hurt. Eerily erotic. The center seemed to be visually opened. The combination of incense and the single candle in the center created the image of an open portal, a cone of light, from the center of the temple space. Ghosts coming and going at will. And then the calling of our ghost, xxxxx xxxxx.

Friday, September 12, 2008



Spent the day gathering supplies and brainstorming ritual.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

ritual research


We moved the mattress to the floor today to keep my son from falling off of it. We then decided that he should learn the “edge” lesson so we let him crawl to the edge with the full intent of letting him crawl off. With my wife and I on edge ourselves we watched as he crawled face first nearly over the edge of the bed, then we watched in amazement as he turned himself around and got down feet first! Smart little monkey!

This evening my task is to do some research and meditate on this Kuei ritual. My head is fucking killing me. I have either not drank enough water or stress is just taking its toll upon me. My son has been difficult the past few days with the cutting of his first tooth. He takes after me in that he becomes needy when he feels shitty. This has slowed my work a bit and is the reason for the lack of activity on the tenth.

It is time to begin my fasting food wise and sex wise for this ritual work on Saturday.

I believe I may have chosen one of the most difficult paradigms to research, at least where religious/magickal Taoism is concerned. I am astounded at how difficult it is to find any detail concerning Taoist ritual practice. Perhaps it is owed to the extreme secrecy and seclusion that Taoist masters have traditionally maintained over the centuries. I have dug up a good thing or two. I am going to have to perhaps cast for some inspiration for this ritual. I do know a Frater or two that would be pleased with the discovery of the use of chicken sacrifice and blood in Taoist ghost rituals. This will jive well with other currently practiced paradigms. It may also bode well for a heavy sacrifice night and a chicken barbeque! Library is about to close down on me so I better pack it in. Damn, nearly 3 hours of steady research and no solid ritual development. Not true, I have developed a few ideas, but it’s not solid yet. Now I am just rambling to make myself feel better. Blah blah blah. I did discover through my Galileo research and website research that I am going to have to invest some money in some books. Most of the information that I need is in books, not research articles.
(note: put in unpub journal)
At home: performed meditation on the upcoming ritual. I saw most of it play out. Seems I am dealing with a multi-leveled ritual. Also when I came out of meditation I noticed something on my xaobala painting that is on my altar. This piece is as of yet unfinished but something came blazing forth into my consciousness. The importance of this remains to be seen. However the magickal synchronisity held within this moment has not been seen in some time. During my Kuei meditation I was interupted by a baphomet invocation in which an individual was performing. It glitters with potential power. 436??? AHA!!!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008


Contemplating this
Moment of awareness gone
And it slips away

Vino update

Filtered out the must and moved the liquid to a 5 gal bucket. Added 3 lbs of sugar, some maple syrup, malto-dextrine, fermax yeast nutrient and Lal Vin EC-1118 yeast (Champaign yeast). Capped it off with a proper airlock and now my good fraters and sorors we have fermentation! It began about an hour after I capped it all off.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008



I will be getting the proper yeast for the wine today. I have hesitated because all I had was bread yeast and I want this wine to taste as good as possible for a first run. I did sterilize everything pretty heavy, the grapes included, during the prep process so it should keep. There has been no fermentation so far, which is good I suppose. If there is no wild yeast in my must then there is probably no other nasty bacteria either. This is good. Interesting though. For two nights I have dreamed heavily of this wine. Of taking care of it and preparing it and getting the correct yeast etc, etc.

Next will be to make some beer, and then another vat of wine. This process is not just to make drink to drink, but is to make ritual drink specifically.

Turns out the yeast will have to be got tomorrow. I misremembered the days and times of the home brew store. Tomorrow will have to do. I think the must will hold. I hope the must will hold. I did sterilize it pretty good so, a future toast from my muscadine wine! “We are glad it held, here’s to holding and good sterilization!”

Shit fuck me! Okay if you look at the Xaobala from the ritual invocation of the immortal self you will notice that there are wavy lines from the sun to the outer spheres. This would be because I misremembered the fucking text. I just ran across it during some other research to find that it is straight lines that spirits travel on, NOT CURVY! Hence the reason there are so many curvy roads in china. Fucker! Okay, so some interesting information was pulled from this ritual nonetheless. Why? If the primus for the lines fomr the sun to the self int eh outer spheres was wrong then what was happeneing?

The curvy lines may have prevented contamination. In this way energy from the sun may have been filtered so as to not contaminate the self at the spheres. This may have allowed for a build up from the self from a purely self-source. Regardless it is imperative that this ritual be performed again with the initially intended form.

I hereby declare the 13th of the month to be ghost day. In china it is the 15th. I do not know if china has the similar resonance around the number 15 as we do 13, but 13 seems appropriate. And, my good Fraters and Sorors, the 13 just happens to be the date our chaosmagick workshop falls on. This was unintended but an excellent turn of events.

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Interesting note on the placement of an altar in the temple: I used compass to determine the directions of the temple and placed an altar in the direction that I for some reason thought was north. It turned out to be south, completely opposite. However some research has brought to light an interesting synchronicity concerning this confusion. The Chinese in days of around 2800 BCE used a compass that was south pointing.
“When the people of China go out to collect jade, they carry a south pointer with them so
as not to lose their way.” Kuei Ku Tzu, dated about 300 B.C.E. This altar is in the south now and will be a guide for me/us not to lose our way.

Monday, September 8, 2008

my whole life fell apart


There was a break today. My whole life fell apart and fell back together before sunset. We will be moving sooner than expected. This falls into Shêng, “Do not hesitate” This aspect has become apparent. But all else still holds, it will just be shorter term than I at first suspected.

Visited our friend and lawyer today. Looks like we have a good case against this company. We filed the suit this evening.

Sunday, September 7, 2008



Began making my wine today; muscadine from the temple yard and grape for a boost.

Saturday, September 6, 2008


Falling in the pool
We slip on the edges of
Concrete and grass stains

Friday, September 5, 2008

divination for a friend


Sublimation Meditation

Good meditation, nothing spectacular to report. Toaday was similar to yesterday. The patience and emotional stability continues.

Performed an I-Ching divination ritual for a friend. Seemed to go well. Performed with full candlelight, incense and calligraphy work. Seemed to give the information needed. Accuracy of course will take time to determine.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

results continued


There have been some noticeable emotional results from last nights work. I have felt very balanced today. I have been much more patient, with no effort on my part and today was a good day. I did not expect there to be any major results from the bone oracle ritual save the divination itself but to my delight there have been. This feeling seems steady as well, not fleeting, or the feeling of ritual afterglow. This ritual has manifested itself in every mundane activity of the day. My grandmother even consented to try my cooking. This was a novelty. True she has been sick, but she has in the past been resistant to our style of eating. She seemed to like my Kung Pao Tofu! So we all ate at the table together, which has not happened for weeks. I was not aggravated or drawn to anger once today. Today was a good day.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Results from Bone Oracle Divination Ritual


Bone Oracle Divination Ritual


Music: Shamanic Drumming CD.
Incense: Bat’s Blood

Banished using the large Masonic bell that a Frater gave me. Performed a freestyle chaosphere banishing. Bell in left hand held up ringing into the heavens, heavens falling into the bell. The wand pushing forth into the aether cast the chaosphere that was cut into space by sword like motion.

This done I sat at the apex of the triangle of fire. I cried. I cried like a child who was lost. And I was lost. I have been pained by this burden and have been set to a task in which I have no idea what the right direction or path is. So I cried. I cried because I was lost and I cried because I am losing my grandmother. My heart is heavy and sick with this sadness. And I have been behaving like a rotten child acting out with no knowledge of why or for what. Acting out because of a pain that cannot be interpreted.

The sigils on the bone were simple. “Stay” with yin and yang lines and “Go” with positive yin and yang lines. It took longer than I expected for the bone to begin cracking but it was apparent when it did. It was audible as well as tactile. It was a strangely pleasurable feeling for the bone to be cracking in my hand. It felt primal and at the same time it felt like a pressure from my own being was released with the answering of my question. Not to mention that the smell of burning bone seems to trigger something in the psyche. One is pulling answers from a world stale and dead, from a world unknown. One is not only practicing pyromancy but also necromancy. These bones and the smell of burning bone attract the kuei, it attracts the ancestors, it opens the gates to hell.

The answer: The first crack seems to tell me to stay. The bone cracked to the yang line under the stay sigil. I meditated on this and accepted it. I needed to know everything though and wanted to know what the outcome in the other way would be. So I continued to hold the bone over the flame. The next crack came on the Go side but this time it was a deep obvious crack that touched the sigil itself. While reading the cracks I was curious as to where the lines were going so I applied a bit of pressure with my carving tool to the end of the crack. A small piece came off of the Stay side, under the sigil. A large piece came off of the Go side taking with it a good bit of the sigil. This resounded in my mind as a Go answer.

The hexagram drawn to further explain this answer was Shêng / Pushing Upward. This hexagram again describes motion, moving, “go”. But in this sense it refers to the work of the situation. The move will be work and will be more emotional work than anything. Things will have to be acted out in such a way that the transition is natural, smooth and understood. This means absolute peace, even if forced, up until the move. This means me not acting like a hurt child. Six in the beginning. The growth of wood from the earth needs yielding earth. If correct action is taken, if the growth is done with yielding then the motion (the move) will be seen as right, it will seem a natural progression rather than a desperate move. The desperate move will hurt feelings. The growth motivated move will be seen as right and natural. There will be no resistance. Nine in the third place. The beginning of the upper nuclear trigram Chên / Movement. In this seems to be a warning not to hesitate because things seem good. This good timing must be taken advantage of. If the move is going to be successful and painless then it will have to be done during a time when it would seem the move is not necessary. Don’t hesitate when this time comes. Do not make this move during a time of resistance.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

dregs of a cough


CEPC during my morning walk
Sublimation meditation at lit altar

I am finally feeling better. Only the dregs of a cough are left. I seem to be getting up the last of this phlegm.

My grandmother told me of a dream she had last night. Apparently; a woman was being visited by her daughter. Her daughter wanted to get all of her money. The daughter was very insistent and the mother very resistant. The daughter told the mother that she was crazy (I suppose because the mother could not handle her own money). The mother eventually hit the daughter in the head and the daughter returned the hit. The hitting continued. Somehow my grandmother was told the meaning of this story, which was that god put us here on this earth to get along and love one another, not to fight. Exactly how this all plays out to that moral I have not a clue. Regardless the dream itself is pretty indicative of reality, or at least her perception of it. This worries me.

I don’t know what is fixing to happen with all of this. We are making an appointment soon with a neurologist to get a diagnosis. We shall see from there.

Gustav was not as bad as I predicted. I wonder if these weather dreams are not divinatory as much as they are just reactions to the environment and hearing about hurricanes during the season. This would make perfect sense.

I should do a divinatory ritual to assess this situation with my grandmother and our highly probable move in December. This could be a good opportunity to develop the bone oracle ritual. This should occur tomorrow night.

Monday, September 1, 2008


Perceptual bliss
Senses are catapulted
Moment is silence

Ritual Results posted

Ritual results have been posted under the date of its occurance. Please see 8:29:2008.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

hurricane dream

Still resting.
I can’t even breathe well enough to circulate my breath without coughing, which has become quite painful.

Dreamed looking out my window to find that the hurricane was calling for evacuation of my town. I noticed that they had dug a trench at the foot of my house, not a trench a huge hole and were lining the walls with cans and tires. I couldn’t figure out what the sense of this was as it seemed to me that it would just fill with water. Missy (a friend of mines dog) was sent across town to deliver a message. She took the message in her mouth and ran off, cutting up underneath debris and weaving past projectiles. So I ran upstairs to check the status of the storm. I looked out of my balcony, pretty high up and saw that the skies had darkened and the waves were crashing into the windows. These must have been at least 40-foot breaks. The sand had all been washed off of the beech, there was nothing but the bare rock shelves left. No sand. I wondered how long it would take till we had beeches again. Then I wondered if I was even going to survive.

This illness seems to be spurring dreams. Perhaps the uneasiness with which I sleep. Oceanic themes, dangerous waters. Looked up some info on Gustav this morning as well. It seems that the name would mean “staff of the gods”. Great thing to name a storm. And should this staff single us out in anger? We are now experiencing the outer edges of this storm. My prediction is that it will be near Katrina, apparently it is a cat 4 now (Katrina was cat 5) But evacuations have been better so death should not be as severe. These storms are going to get worse over the years. Our dreams will reflect this. If the “savior” came it would be in the eye of a hurricane. It is easy to see how jesus freaks could see these hurricanes as a cleansing from god. I can easily see it from my perspective as a cleansing from Gaia (that is the hypothesis). You are building castles in the sand people. Castles in the sand.

castles in the sand

(keep an eye out for my ritual post. I am still working on that one, it may take a minute. It will be dated 8:29 and posted to my web page. I will let you know.)

Still resting.
I can’t even breathe well enough to circulate my breath without coughing, which has become quite painful.

Dreamed looking out my window to find that the hurricane was calling for evacuation of my town. I noticed that they had dug a trench at the foot of my house, not a trench a huge hole and were lining the walls with cans and tires. I couldn’t figure out what the sense of this was as it seemed to me that it would just fill with water. Missy (a friend of mines dog) was sent across town to deliver a message. She took the message in her mouth and ran off, cutting up underneath debris and weaving past projectiles. So I ran upstairs to check the status of the storm. I looked out of my balcony, pretty high up and saw that the skies had darkened and the waves were crashing into the windows. These must have been at least 40-foot breaks. The sand had all been washed off of the beech, there was nothing but the bare rock shelves left. No sand. I wondered how long it would take till we had beeches again. Then I wondered if I was even going to survive.

This illness seems to be spurring dreams. Perhaps the uneasiness with which I sleep. Oceanic themes, dangerous waters. Looked up some info on Gustav this morning as well. It seems that the name would mean “staff of the gods”. Great thing to name a storm. And should this staff single us out in anger? We are now experiencing the outer edges of this storm. My prediction is that it will be near Katrina, apparently it is a cat 4 now (Katrina was cat 5) But evacuations have been better so death should not be as severe. These storms are going to get worse over the years. Our dreams will reflect this. If the “savior” came it would be in the eye of a hurricane. It is easy to see how jesus freaks could see these hurricanes as a cleansing from god. I can easily see it from my perspective as a cleansing from Gaia (that is the hypothesis). You are building castles in the sand people. Castles in the sand.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Gaia Mother Dreaming


Today has been a day of rest and recovery. Recovery mainly from this ickyness I have.
Dreamt a few dreams this morning.

XXXXX’s Mom came to me while I was lounging. She stood before me, desperate and a bit scared. Strange moment, she was also very sensual. I don’t know how to describe this, not sexual. She was sensual, like a cosmic world mother, like a deity. But she was in pain. The situation shifted and she was in the lounging position. She seemed a bit happier, at least more rested. Holy crap. I just realized something; the black, red and blue birds were not all. There were also Blue birds. That is the damn blue bird. It was quite plain and now that I think back on it I recognized it as such in the dream itself. So these birds were sitting on her face. She seems very happy about this. They seemed to sooth her. They were tiny like finches. They seemed to be grooming her. She was delighted by this and it seemed to stabilize her mood.

Sammy and I swimming in a brackish river. I found a bottle of port wine. We were going to drink it but an alligator swam up and we had to give it to him to pacify it so it would not eat us. I swam ashore. I had him in my arms and we are now watching sharks. Lots of sharks coming up to get warm in the shallow water. A lady comes up and tells us the tide will be rising soon. We try to move up the beech but now the bank is very steep and breaking up sand. I became stuck; I could not climb any higher without dropping Sammy. I dug my hand into a place and secured myself so I could hold for a while. I told the lady to get us some help because we could not make it up the steep bank without both of my hands, which were of course not free. She indicated that she would go for help. I was nervous but not terrified by any means. I was confident in this woman for some reason. So we settled in to wait. Sammy began to cry. I woke up.

Friday, August 29, 2008

results from Invocation of the immortal self

Ritual. Temple M.F. 79.

Began with the Invocation of the Immortal Self.

1. Pluto: void nothing, a state of no mind.

2. Neptune: whales, singing, swimming dancing whales

3. Uranus: over inflated ego, sightless action THE FOOL from the Thoth tarot! Eaten by a tiger. Except unlike the fool Uranus experiences the terror, the tiger leaps from the sun

4. Saturn: Earth, decomposition, sand, ashes, cold and damp.

5. Jupiter: Overconfidence, power drunk, temporary control of others, this never lasts of course, and is the planet of fallen leaders, but fallen leaders at their height. Ahh, but what a feeling.

6. Mars: of course this is the battle, but of a controlled method. This is not the planet of the berserker. This is talent and skill at the art of war, Sun Tzu. This is the beauty of war.

7. Earth: This is the dance, the heartbeat, drumming, stomping on the ground. Here is atlas carrying his load and Gaia carrying hers. This is also the release of these loved burdens, the world and the individual child, mortality of the masses vs. the mortality of your child. Earth is where we learn to lose that which we love. Earth is intimately involved with Saturn in this respect. Cosmologicly one could consider that the surface of the earth is the sphere of earth and that underfoot, cradled by the dirt of Gaia’s womb is Saturn. This is the 135°.

8. Venus is where you choose. Venus catches these falling dead babies and breaths life back into them through her bosom of life. Venus is the reflection of self. Venus reflects back to us what we are, like it or not. Not what we want to be, want to see, think we are. Venus is the antithesis of image management. Venus can kill the self through the self. Venus can also give us the power to love. This is the unconditional love of the gods. To love the self in all its ugliness is to love the all. What we see in the world that we hate, those things we loathe, these are reflections of ourselves. My fear of my grandmother’s dementia is fear of my own dementia. My fear of my mother’s death is fear of my own death. My hatred of injustice is the hatred of the injustices within myself. The immortal sees no reflection or sees the reflection of the ten thousand things when within the sphere of Venus.

9. Mercury: This is the yoga of art, reading, writing and study. Finding the self through understanding of all those things that make up the self. The more we discover the more we know what we are, the more we can accept our immortality. Paradigm shifting is an aspect of this. The student of magick, nay the student of existence, will do well to take this sphere seriously. We are born through our producing. We are born into our immortality via our generative force. If this force is but a puddle of effluvia on the floor then we are wasted. If this is the case, place a canvas on the floor to collect your workings!

10. Sun: From where all things are clear. One is simultaneously all these things and independent from them. What does one say about this state. Nothing.

The ritual conclusion left me exhausted and wet with sweet but feeling very clean, purified and healthy, even through this horrid cold, sinus infection, whatever the fuck illness that is still plaguing me.

In Frater Beenja’s ritual I participated as a drummer, circle guard and for a few fleeting moments here and there, the ghede. Nothing in the world like a good cigar, the smell of rum, bare feet and a dirt floor! When the ghede took me he took me and I was filled with the giddiest joy I have felt in a long time. Laughter filled my senses.

Beenja tried to take back the talisman at the end of the ritual. But there was a funny look in his eye, so I refused, and the look instantly left. Strange. But it is in a safe place. No worries, I will not be tricked by lingering spirits. I been roun de clock once oh twice mun!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

CEPC and Sublimation

Didn’t perform for very long this morning. I woke up sick, was sick all day and am still sick now. This fucking sucks. I take this as a result, although a negative one. Perhaps I should begin focusing more on the quick and slow fires and the healing exorcises. Whatever, this is a call for me to get serious, get more organized about my practice, to practice more diligently. Perhaps monasticism is in order. If I am not better by tomorrow evening I will begin working on the tears of purification. I will try to push this illness out of me. This thing seems to have come from my grandmother who is sick in bed with bronchitis.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Didn’t wake up in time to for Alicia to go to the park due to another animal situation. The Maggie Maggot the cat had to go to the vet for shots. So, Alicia didn’t have time to go walking, which means that I didn’t have time to do my meds. No worries though, it was a pretty good morning. Cant ask for much more than that most days. Strange night though. Sammy woke up at 2:30 am. Wide awake. No crying or anything, just awake and happy. He was so happy in fact that Alicia and I thought that it was morning and began getting out of bed, until we realized that it was 2:30! We managed to coax him back to sleep and then things got real strange.

My dreams were pretty intense. Last night I began thinking about the use of Kuei in my practices. Of course these demon ghosts are the often the diseased who have died unjustly or in ill manners. I found myself in a fight with some kid rock looking guy. I ws losing horridly. Then I realized that Sammy was in the car and so I called the police. This caused a huge issue as most everyone at the party (which turned out to be a funeral) were carrying. I felt bad about that as I could give a shit about other peoples drug habbits, and ordinarily I would just deal with thigns myself, but I cold not take too big a risk as Sammy was in my care. So I called the cops and people scattered. I realized then that I was at Donnie Land’s funeral. Though it was not his funeral it was his resurrection at my hand. I held his two sons and daughter in my arms crying and praying with them. I then set about the task of resurrecting Donnie Land. When he rose he expressed indebtedness to me. Donnie, I must admit, was not in life what I would call a moral, nor really even a nice guy. But he was powerful and if he were to take up a bureaucratic position in the Taoist hell then he would certainly be powerful there. So, Donnie Land is to be my first Kuei project.

Oh yeah, and the failed mantra sigil casting. As I was falling asleep I created a mantra in my head to win a bid on ebay. I did not win the bid. Then again the gnosis wasn’t really all that strong, nor was the effort I put into the mantra.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008



Woke up this morning and went back to sleep. My wife put my son in his crib and he was laughing and yelling. I went back to sleep. He next thing I know my wife is coming in from her first class and my boy is asleep in his crib. It was rather surreal and a bit unnerving. The day itself has been hectic. We decided to have the dog groomed and so this threw a kink in my planning, as did getting up two hours late. So the day was a mad dash, all day. I am finally here at the library at 8:30, round about 2 hours behind schedule. Two hours behind schedule, all because of a fucking dog and my horrid, failing Will to get my ass up out of bed.

However I take this as a success concerning the sigil casting. OCD functions under a pretty rigid system. Often, if one thing is out of sequence or disruptive to the plan then the system unravels and the individual is lost. I cannot afford to unravel, and I have to be flexible where my son’s needs are concerned. This does not include my own infortitude. People talk about armchair magickians! It would seem that I was a pillow magickian. I may as well lay in bed to do my meditations and call it the death posture, better still, the narco-posture and catalog my nodding off as gnosis! Perhaps we can call that Gnodding.

Self-flogging aside. I am here now, in my study room at the library. My Monks corner, with my books and my writing machine. I can see the bell tower from my window. I believe I am in the north-west corner of the library.

I should get to it so this day is not a complete waste where my work is concerned.

Just got off the phone with Dunn. Don’t forget the micro-macro cosmic connection! Bring it home. Bring it home.

Monday, August 25, 2008

OCD manifest


CEPC, sublimation meditation

This Monday marks the big shift, the schedule manifest. So my casting sigils for organization seem to be working. I acquired a palm pilot from Frater Idgaf who just happened to have one he didn’t use. So in order to achieve, amongst this whirlwind, a “near OCD” organization must be achieved. And so it seems to be.

The evening’s research consisted of some pretty dry historical background stuff. I hope that I can jazz it up enough in the XaoTao to make it interesting. Some people get off on that stuff I suppose. It looks as though I will be able to create a 3rd modern tradition of the XaoTao. It fits in pretty well with the two old school traditions, Tao-chia and Tao-chiao. I wonder if I should not rearrange the title again to fit the historical line, Tao-chao or Tao-Xao. I don’t know. I like the XaoTao. Besides I think the Xao preceding makes an important statement, xaotism being the umbrella theory.

Saturday, August 23, 2008


This is the silence
I is the moment between
Inhale and exhale

Friday, August 22, 2008

Transpersonal Thanatology

Transpersonal Psychology represents what has been called a fourth force in the movements of psychology (Chinen, 1996). In an attempt to counterbalance the two movements of the 1960s, psychoanalysis and behaviorism, a third force was born to focus psychology on more positive health oriented concerns rather than pathology and stimulus response (Chinen, 1996). This third force was the humanistic movement, which dealt with the human potential, psychological health and personal happiness. What this force was missing sparked Anthony Sutich, then founder and editor of the Journal of Humanistic Psychology, to begin holding meetings in his home to discuss topics that moved beyond mere psychological health and slipped unapologetically into the realm of mysticism and the spirit (Chinen, 1996).

From these meetings was born the above mentioned fourth force, transpersonal psychiatry and psychology. Bruce Scotton (1996) defines transpersonal psychiatry as;
"…psychiatry that seeks to foster development, correct developmental arrests, and heal traumas at all levels of development, including transpersonal levels. It extends the standard biopsychosocial model of psychiatry to a biopsychosocial-spiritual one in which the later stages of human development are concerned with development beyond, or transcendent of, the individual." (p. 4)

While humanistic psychology deals amicably with the individual and problems of the individual Self Transpersonal Psychology takes this a step beyond and deals with higher levels of human individuality, namely that of transcendence of individuality and the ego.

Psychoanalytic theory seems to have had a difficult time dealing with death as it relates to the phenomena that individuals will ultimately confront. While it does not seem to have dealt with the issue directly, it appears from Razinsky in his commentary on Freud’s essay “Thoughts for the Times on War and Death” that Freud himself did deal with the issue and was, as is common for Freud’s work, misunderstood. In the first instance, Razinsky cites several authors who argue that Freud’s view of death was reductionistic. To support the claim of reductionism he states Freud’s position was that fear of death stemmed from a separation anxiety. However, it is reductionist to take this statement and not consider it more deeply. What more could there be to fear of death? In the end, we ultimately develop ourselves based on our superegos. We spend our days defining ourselves by our consciousness, by our cultures, and by what we own. In fact much has been shown experimentally in terror management theory to support the idea that when we are confronted with our own mortality, we tend to cling more tightly to the things of our culture (Solomon, 1991). If we cling more tightly, this could indicate that we fear losing these things. This is in effect separation anxiety and there is very little reduction involved. These are very deep concerns of the individual psyche that must be dealt with in the face of death.
Razinsky points out two positions held by Freud concerning death, and claims that Freud’s problem is that he holds them simultaneously. This is simply not the case. It speaks well of Freud that he was able to do hold these two positions. The positions, as explained by Razinsky are: 1) We do not think about death because we do not want to; and, 2) that we cannot think about death. Both of these positions, in essence, are correct and not as contradictory as they may seem at first glance. Thinking too deeply on death for too long can lead to one of two outcomes. The individual can become crippled with fear and fall into obsessive attempts to avoid death or the individual can enter into a state of meditative realization, much like is described through the Bardo Thodal. In the Bardo Thodal, or the Tibetan Book of the Dead, the individual, through a series of deep meditations on the archetypes of the realm of death, ultimately is freed from the fear of death and prepared for the journey into the unknown (Evans-Wentz, 1960). We can see in this the use of thinking deeply on the subject, death, as an aid in ultimately freeing ourselves from the need to think about death, or at least the fear involved in its contemplation. Death is a complete unknown. The only thing we can truly contemplate concerning death is the process of dying, not death itself. Freud was not off the mark in his two positions; he was merely accepting two of the truths concerning death.

Whether there is an inability or an unwillingness to think about death is inconsequential to the dying. The dying not only think about death but are living out the process of death. While Freud may or may not have dealt with death in a psychoanalytical light, the reality of death could never be unearthed in an analyst’s chair the way it is with those who are undergoing the actual process of dying and those who are giving care to the dying.

Ego transcendence has been a primary concern in eastern religions such as Buddhism, Taoism, and Hinduism for thousands of years. Transpersonal psychology may very well represent the first time that ego transcendence has been taken seriously by academic circles in the West. The psychoanalysis of Freud was strongly grounded in theories of the ego and worked within this framework to heal the ego of the individual, or at least to allow for smoother functioning of the ego. Behaviorism ignored these ideas all together and looked at the human as a series of reactions to stimuli. Humanistic psychology looked at the individual as separate from the larger whole and focused on healing from this level. Transpersonal psychology looks at the experiences of the Buddhist, Taoist and Hindu, and considers the spiritual realm from which these levels of human functioning are being experienced.

Transcendence in Eastern philosophy and spirituality is viewed not only from the view that the True Self, or the essence of Self, is separating from the ego self, but a moment in which this True Self is united with a larger whole. Through certain yogic practices, meditation, and trance states the self or ego is transcended and the individual becomes united with the Self. The most notable moment of transcendence, the ultimate separation from the ego, can be seen as death. Death represents a separation of the individual from the biopsychosocial forms of being and entry into a realm that cannot be quantified or looked at through the lenses of empirical science. In this respect the only field of psychology equipped to deal with this aspect of the human experience is transpersonal psychology.

In the three primary religions of the East namely Hinduism, Taoism and Buddhism the function of transcendence is paramount. This transcendence is not only vital to proper death experience but is a goal of daily living as well. In achieving transcendence, which is perhaps synonymous with enlightenment in this case, the individual comes to a place in which death does not represent an end nor a separation. Death may in fact represent the fulfillment of an ultimate unity that the practitioner of transcendent methodologies has been cultivating throughout life.
In the Bhagavad Gita Sri Krishna explains to Arjuna how to die. One of the primary goals in Hinduism, living a good life, involves ending the cycle of samsara, or rebirth, that one may be united with the Lord in eternal peace. This peace involves not so much a consciousness afterlife as much as it does a single pointed knowing that is the goal of the meditations and yoga practiced by the Hindi. Krishna goes on to explain that what occupies the mind of the dying at the moment of death “determines the destination of the dying” (Bhagavad Gita, 8:6). It is vital, Krishna teaches, that the dying hold to the single pointed concentration learned during meditation to insure that the adhidaiva (eternal spirit) is absorbed into the unity of Krishna and not cycled back toward rebirth. The instruction given involves placing the mind at the heart during the moment of death. Here the heart may be correlated to the heart chakra (Bhagavad Gita, p.121). With this done and all thoughts on Krishna, the dying is instructed to push one’s energy up toward the top of the head while chanting the Sanskrit syllable “Om”. Krishna defines the meaning of this chanted syllable as “the changeless Brahman” (8:13), which is the Hindu concept of the ultimate energy that permeates and is indeed all things. This energy can be channeled, in a sense summoned, by the chanting of the syllable. With this chanting in progress and the adhidaiva pushed through the top of the head, Krishna indicates that the individual my leave the body and “attain the supreme goal” (8:13). The pushing of the energy through the top of the head may very well be intimating the Crown Chakra or Sahasrāra. This chakra has been described as starting out as a depression in the chakra system, much like that of a bowl. Only as the practitioner of yoga and meditation advances does this Chakra turn out forming the thousand pedaled lotus of the enlightened ones (Leadbeater, 1927). Also called the Crown Chakra, Leadbeater continues the analogy by drawing attention to the historical use of the Crown Chakra in Christian art where it is more often referred to as a halo. This symbolism and its use in the Bhagavad Gita draws attention to the need of the individual to become enlightened or “actualized” before death. Krishna himself reminds Arjuna what the meaning of the Lord is and how union with this Lord may be attained “This supreme Lord who pervades all existence, the true Self of all creatures, may be realized through undivided love.” (8:22)

In the Teaching of Buddha, the Buddha relays a story concerning the death of a child and the mourning mother. The mother who finds her child dead becomes obsessed with bringing her child back to life. She goes from house to house begging for someone to heal her child. Eventually she makes it to the Buddha who tells her that he will need three poppy seeds in order to heal her child. He further instructs the women that these seeds must come from a home in which death has never entered. Unable to find such a home, she returns to the Buddha and suddenly understands what he has taught her. Through this, we see the Buddhist’s accepting attitude of death, and the realization of its inevitability (The Teaching of Buddha, 3:5).

Within Buddhism there is a single text dedicated solely to the dead, dying and the bereaved: The Bardo Thodal or The Tibetan Book of the Dead. This text reads as a guide to the dead giving them one last chance to come to full realization and end the cycle of rebirth, to become one with Buddha nature. If the dead has begun the process described in the Bardo it is the person’s ill Karma or his or her attachment to the world of the living that has lead them to this level.
The guru begins to read to the dead thus, “O nobly-born, whatever fearful and terrifying visions thou mayst see, recognize them to be thine own thought-forms” (Evans-Wentz, 1960, p.147). From this point forward it is explained to the dead that he or she should meditate upon the precious trinity. If the deceased does not know how to do this it is explained that the Lhan-chig-skyes-pahi-lha (simultaneously born god) shall come before them along with the Lhan-chig-skyes-pahi-hdre (simultaneously born demon). It is understood to the student of the Bardo Thodal that these deities, as well as all other deities, encountered upon this plane are merely the illusions or hallucinations of the mind, attempting to understand the experience that is set upon them. It is exactly this belief that ultimately is to save the soul from eternal torment.

These two, God and Demon, come before the dead. The God comes with white stones to put upon the scales representing the good deeds of the person. The Demon comes with Black stones and puts them upon the scales representing the evil deeds of the person. It is explained to the dead that they will be scared during this time, nearly in a panic, and they will try desperately to justify themselves as they watch the black stones being laid out. This fear stems from the nature of the surrounding deities. For should they not pass this test and achieve illumination during this time, should they lie to the deities saying they have committed no sins, they shall be lassoed by one of the ‘executives of the lord of death’ and dragged off. The ‘executive’ then disembowels the dead with all the pain that would be produced in the body of the living. This being done, the body reconstructs itself and the moment repeats itself for an undetermined amount of time.

During the entirety of this scene, the Guru reading the text is coaching the dead on the precepts of illumination in the hopes that the person’s spirit may realize and escape the fate of being trapped in this judgment for any length of time (Evans-Wentz, 1960). The goal of this is to help the dead realize that the deities and events taking place around the consciousness of the person are indeed created out of that person’s consciousness. The dead must realize these events as illusory and that they cannot hurt the person or the spirit of the person. This process continues until the individual’s rebirth into a still more miserable life, or until illumination occurs and the individual is freed from this tormented vision of duality and enters oneness, unity or transcendence.

Taoism also holds this precept of unity. In the Hua Hu Ching translated by Hua-Ching Ni (1979), death is dealt with as a consequence of dualistic thinking more than a moment in and of itself. In Taoism, death does not rightly exist. We see death because we see life; we experience death because we experience life. Death is represented only because the universal oneness has not been realized: “Kind prince, if one still holds the divisive mental concepts of self and others, male and female, longevity and brevity, life and death, and so on without end, then one does not have an all-embracing awareness of the Universal Life” (p. 110). This is the type of realization that can be reached through actualization. This realization can aid a person in transcending the ego, transcending a dualist mindset, and ultimately aid the person in preparing for a peaceful acceptance of his or her role as the dying. Rather than fear an illusory separation, the individual may come to realize that there is ultimately nothing to separate.

Fear of death often runs much deeper than the separation from loved ones and lifetime acquisitions. It also has deep roots in the fear that one will lose the self, the knowing cognizing being that we believe to be the “I”. This is likewise dealt with in the Hua Hu Ching. In his elucidation of the original text, Hua-Ching Ni reminds the student that cognition and the contents of knowledge are of the brain cells. These things will die with the body. These things, however, are not the Self. The intuitions and character of the individual continue on after death and may be reincarnated (Ni, 1979). Intuition and character are of the one (or Tao), not the individual experiences that we experience the character and intuition through.

In looking at death as a process of dying, one begins to consider these issues of a good versus a bad death. The next step in this wondering is to ask how we may achieve a good death. Zalinski and Raspa (2006) adapted Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and the path toward actualization as one method through which we may aid the dying and perhaps eventually ourselves in the quest to achieve a good death.

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs can be looked at as a pyramid similar to that of the food pyramid, where the most basic of needs are at the bottom and actualization is at the top. At the base, physiological needs must be met. Maslow considers these to be needs in the order of food, water, and air (Maslow, 1968). Zalinski and Raspa adapted this to the need of the dying patient as being that of physical comfort, or the lack of pain. When a patient is in pain it may be difficult or even impossible for the patient to focus on anything else, disallowing safety needs to be met. Safety needs as described by Maslow include shelter from the elements and protection of the body and a security of resources. When these needs are applied to the dying, they transform slightly to include emotional safety. In this the dying should have freedom from the fear of dying (e.g. how they will die) and feel a sense of safety concerning their care (Zalinski & Raspa, 2006). Love and belonging as Zalinski and Raspa have it, is not much different from Malsow’s interpretation. For the dying this includes the love and acceptance of family members and friends as well as the care giving staff. Esteem needs are met in this schema by the dying individual’s ability to accept the new place that the individual finds himself or herself, as their role has changed. Where the dying may have been a provider or socialite in the past, they find themselves unable to perform these past social roles. This can lead individuals to feel that they are no longer worth anything. This, in combination with Emanuel’s work with the dying role, discussed later (Emanuel, Bennett & Richardson, 2007) may be beneficial as the individual learns to redefine the self and develop self esteem based on these new self-concepts. Unfortunately, Zalinski and Raspa fall short in their attempt to adapt actualization needs into the realm of the dying. While they do indicate that actualization is part and parcel of the idea of transcendence and the connection the actualized shares with the universe and other people, Zalinski and Raspa seem to miss the depth of the point that they themselves make.

With the dying being given the opportunity to climb the pyramid toward actualization, they are simultaneously given the opportunity to realize their own personal and ultimate truth. This truth can be seen as synonymous with the true Self. The individual whot has attained this moment of transcendence has effectively been prepared in mind and body for the transcendence of death. With this preparation, the individual can safely and securely enter into what perhaps can be seen as the most terrifying of journeys into the unknown. Should the dying be given this opportunity and take it wholeheartedly, the passage into death could possibly be seen as a beautiful moment of union rather than separation.

Picking up where Zalinski & Raspa left off, Smith (1995) deals extensively with the problem of death in traditional fields of psychology. She states that “traditional theories of psychology, on which some social work interventions are based, are highly ego identified in their focus and have heretofore lacked a theoretical framework for an ego-transcending phenomena such as death” (p. 403). Based on the assumption that individuals have a natural drive or “impulse” toward transcendent states, Smith (1995) argues for the use of transpersonal psychology in dealing with the death and the dying from a clinical perspective. Smith proposes a Transegoic Model through which the dying may experience the confrontation with mortality and ultimately death with a peaceful acceptance rather than fear and resistance.

The first stage of Smith’s model involves the normalization of death. Through normalization individuals can come to look at death as a natural part of the process of living rather than as an end to that living. Smith explains that the healing during this stage can take the form of dealing with the reality of ones situation rather than engaging is unrealistic wishes for health or longevity.

Emanuel Bennett & Richardson (2007) discuss this issue at length in their paper “The Dying Role”. In their paper they deal with the issues faced by the dying individual and come to the conclusion that “dying is by definition an existential matter” (p. 164). What the person is faced with can be seen as a “final growth phase” during which the individual may attempt to reconcile interpersonal relationships, finish tasks, or accomplish dreams. Ultimately however the individual will need to face dying itself and what this means concerning the beliefs of an afterlife, soul and Self. Emanuel Bennett & Richardson wisely call for caregivers to consider the needs of the dying in order for them to have a good death. In many ways this is intimately dependent on the roles that the caregivers of the dying assume. Considering the vast mosaic of spiritual beliefs and cosmologies, it may not be so much the need for medical expertise that the dying need as much as what Emanuel calls cultural and spiritual competence. For instance if the medical care continues for too long the individual may stay in the sick role, all the while hoping for a cure, rather than being allowed to begin the process of final growth in the dying role. This final growth into the dying role is paramount to the ability to have a good death, releasing oneself into a secure belief in a peaceful manner. To fight and struggle and enter death with resistance, while poetically a nice thought, is not in the end a good death. One’s last moments are, after all, one’s last moments. Remember Krishna’s words to Arjuna, “Whatever occupies the mind at the moment of death determines the destination of the dying; always they will tend toward that state of being.” (Bhagavad Gita, 8:6)

In Smith’s second stage “faith in the existential self” she points out the need for the individual to find personal meaning in life and to discover the True Self. Smith utilizes Frankl’s logotherapy in which “the patient is confronted with and reoriented to the meaning of his or her life” (p. 407). This meaning, as she points out, is highly individualistic. Of primary importance during this stage is overcoming conditioned meaning. For instance, through enculturation we may have been conditioned to believe that we are separate from our loved ones. This can cause the fear of separation from them through death. If the individual can relearn personal meaning and realize the unity of reality he or she can rest easier in a new belief, perhaps that we become closer to our loved ones through death. Tied into this philosophy of unity rather than separation, Smith draws from Assagioli’s psychosynthesis. Through this latter concept, the patient is guided to reorient personal feelings of “me” and “I” toward a type of role transcendence. Smith suggests continuing to ask the patient who they “are” until role naming (e.g. mother, father, doctor, teacher, student, etc.) has been exhausted and the patient is left with “an ‘I’ that simply is” (p. 407).

With this process fully integrated, the patient may be brought to the level of the third stage, Ego Disattachment. In this phase Smith draws from both Frankl and Assagioli while adding Maslow’s Being Cognition. Through Being Cognition the individual begins the process of integrating perception into a unified whole, realizing the oneness of existence. By continuing to dis-identify the True Self from preconceived definitions of self, the individual may begin to find a personal meaning for the process of death and death itself, as well as find peace in the realization that death does not signal a separation from the Self but may in fact signal a union with the Self (Smith, 1995).

In Smiths last stage, Self-transcendence, the patient continually works on the lower stages in the model and reaffirms the work done in those stages. As is implied by the title of this stage, the primary work in this stage is the process of letting go of the self, or the ego identification and then to ultimately redefine the self as the dead self. In this the patient will contemplate what they will be like when they are dead, what they will be doing, and what will be happening. Religion often offers patients a method through which to describe and visualize this future dead self. Being in heaven with one’s relatives or going through reincarnation can give the individual a sense that while life may be over, “being” is not. Smith cites the case of a woman who did not believe in an afterlife but was able to work through this stage within her belief that she would be a memory, and was able to spend her last days insuring that she would be a good memory to those that she loved (Smith, 1995). Eastern religions like the ones mentioned above offer much in the way of asserting the principle of ego transcendence and ultimate unity with the cosmos.
In conclusion it seems that what transpersonal psychology is offering the field of thanatology is what the religions of the East have been offering for centuries, transcendent union. The way Smith describes her stages for the patient dealing with death reads in very much the same way as the Bardo Thodal. In stage one, the Normalization of Death, we find the dead in the Bardo needing to realize that they are in fact dead. In stage two, Faith in the Existential Self, the individual “moves from a reactive stance to a proactive stance” (Smith, 1995, p.407). In the Bardo, the dead realizes the nightmarish dreams are manifestations of the illusion of dualistic being and can end the suffering of punishment for ill Karma at will. The Ego Disattachment of stage three is echoed throughout the methodologies of eastern practices. The dead in this case realize that they are no longer their body. Stage four, Self-Transcendence, in the Bardo can be seen as the moment of illumination when the individual realizes the illusory nature of individuality, and becomes absorbed into the cosmic consciousness of illumination or the Tao.
Considering the reality that we all are in fact going to die, the investigations of thanatology are vital to our functioning as holistic psychological beings. The religions of the East have given us guidance and preparation for mortality salience for centuries. We now see a synthesis of new and old techniques in the field of transpersonal psychology. Through a Transpersonal Thanatology we may learn not only how to die, but also a way to live that takes into account the entirety of the human experience, to include the inevitable end of that experience.


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