Monday, September 21, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Sexual Gnosis -->black ray
Monday, May 18, 2009
Dreams: recorded elsewhere to maintain privacy.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Taoist Death Metal and the Art of Demon warfare.
This ritual was quite simply an evocation of my personal demons into the willing magickians around me. This done an exorcistic battle ensued. Three total and very heavy exorcisms.
This ritual also marked for the the taking of the Lesser Observances of a Monk of Chaos for a period of at least one week, perhaps longer.
Monasticism day I:
1. Spent nearly 10 minutes looking for my staff which seemed to just vanish into thin air. Found it.
2. IAO banishing in the car on the way home from temple.
3. No dreams.
5. Two sexual gnosis dedicated to magick. One with partner one solo. The first was used to charge a RED chaosphere. The second began as a black chaosphere that hovered above my head then shot a ray of yellow into my chest. This caused me to involuntarily convulse for perhaps 20 seconds. the intensity of that casting was a bit unexpected, but good, very good.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Ritual meditation this evening
Heavy smoke and rolls of pillar snow
Transfer, slight of mind, play of hand, relax
Placement is magick, manipulation of object one
Preparation for the move to object two
One in two and AAACHOO x 2
Kuei is out and playing games
7 die and a bird sings a song to the moon
63º and midnight
Yin is quicker than Yang
Friday, April 10, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
I should be ashamed of myself considering my lack of upkeep on this blog. But I am not. Things are afoot and things are cook’in. And whom my dears is cooking for you?
To preface I should note that magick has been extremely prevalent of late. It will take some time to go back and update the situation, so I will not. April 2nd my grandmother has surgery. My Sister, Frater U and myself performed a simultaneous casting the night before (April 1st) for the success of the surgery. Our results were spot on. There are pics of this to post so I will add to this in a separate post-post at a later time. Before this there have been a series of Earth workings. Utilizing the Exploding Talisman Technique as well as general household earth magicks. This technique will need explanation as well, something I’ve been toying with for a minute. We have had a NOX since I last wrote; this is where I performed the Earth Exploding Talisman ritual. Prior to that my wife and I performed a Spring Equinox Rite with our Chickens first (and seemingly only of 3) egg of the season. This went exceedingly well and deserves much more than a preface, so I will post-post on that one as well, besides I have pics from that too. In fact I have pics from several of the larger workings I have performed over the last month of blog absence.
So what for tonight? Working with Frater JD we performed an Antifreeze ritual. We both have gardens started and do not wish to see them parish do to a “blueberry summer” (thanks Dave). So JD created the sigil and mantra and did some preliminary work with it. This evening we both worked in unison. I had copied the sigil and with my son (15 months) colored it and talismanized it.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Ritual to find a strong Earth Deity and give it its first mission
Ritual performed with Frater J at his ‘Dirty Foot’ Temple.
1. Opened by impromptu calling of the corners and placement of elemental weapons
(Impromptu calling of the corners involves a light invocation of the element and a freestyle verbal calling)
2. At the Earth quadrant statement of intents were spoken allowed and sigilized
3. Seated at temple center “NOBO” was chanted, incense was lit and Salvia cigarettes smoked
4. Visionary results obtained
5. Sigil burned
Image: The image was that of an evolving snake/salamander. End result was a larger salamander with glistening grayish green and red scales, large black hood like that of a king cobra, and huge antlers with a neon glowing from within as if they were made of electricity rather than bone.
The image was at first of an upright glowing triangle that took some concentration to turn upside down. With this done this slimy birth-grey beady eyed snake/worm came gushing out. This quickly evolved into a proper snake with brilliant scales. This crawled up and into me wrapping around my spine and crushing itself into my structure. Its head filled my head and then the antlers came shooting out of my head and into the heavens. The hood spread itself out behind me. Arms sprouted into my own and legs followed.
Secondary intent was [private].
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Free flowing into this one. Did some inspiring synchronistic research on my name prior. Had some sigil work in mind that I wanted to do and this flowed well into the earth meditation of the evening. Don’t want to go too deeply into the talisman etc, need to maintain a distance from these things. However I did achieve an understanding of the eye rolling during meditation. This is not just an exercise but a system. As the eyes roll so does the cosmos. The eyes of course are yang, the only yang we have, and they orbit, allowing for a clearer vision of placement. This is a vantage point with which to see the macro-cosmos. Then the almost violent crossing of the eyes, the slamming of the eyes into the tan tien, brings it all rushing into the body, the macro becomes the micro. I stayed here not allowing for deeper gnosis. I stayed with earth, stuck to her allowed her smooth transitions and evolutions and seasons and rains and violence and warmth and decay and beauty to guide me. This moment was a euphoric gnosis that I have not felt in meditation in as long as I can remember. Tzu Jan, to be completely what one is, natural. To do exactly what one does, flow. To be… there were moments of feeling at one with fallen branches and limbs and stick laying on the forest floor, in piles, branches mingling in such a way with no form and no pattern but as to have each stick holding each other stick up off the ground. Earth is the function of chaos. Earth is the found art of the minds eye. We invariably are earth, we are in earth, we are of earth, we are grounded. And this too came to me, this grounding. All this work is grounded, all this work has foundation.
Monday, February 9, 2009
I have tightened up on my diet again. Not that I got totally off track, but I was eating too much dairy, and too much in general. On February 7th I fasted all day and then on the 8th ate a bowl of steel cut oats. I found that after 24 hours of fasting I begin to get a bit light headed and while this would ordinarily be an okay state for me I cannot completely fast and feel comfortable in my ability to care for my son at my highest capacity. My eating has become lighter and of grains, nuts, fruits and cooked veggies. I am staying away from processed foods, no veggie burgers etc. I have also cut back significantly on my smoking, which had picked up again at an alarming rate. This is in direct response to the ritual I performed to obtain a name for my addiction demon. This name has been used to great affect to curb the desire to smoke when inappropriate. This is most of the time these days.
Beginning preparations for devotional work dealing specifically with the earth goddess energy. I do not at present have the internet in my study which has slowed me down a bit. Sometimes in dealing with specific practical matters in Taoist shamanism it is frustrating as most of the information that is available in my personal library concerns yoga and philosophical Taoism rather than any practical magicks. Jan Fries has some useful information in a relatively practical format, but still he deals more with meditation than magick itself.
So my beginning preparations included building two new raised garden boxes in my yard, constructing an altar of wood and concrete on my front lawn and cleaning/organizing my study, cleaning my brushes and establishing an altar space dedicated to this specific purpose.
I am feeling like much of this is the manifestation of some “organization” sigil work I have done in the past month. I will have to check my intent bank to verify that. At any rate, taking the Xaobala system as a map of microcosm will guide me in my spiraling in meditations. In this the Xaobala is a map that was developed from observations of the solar system and quantum physics. This is superimposed on the inner self. As without so within. So beginning at earth and studying, working with, invoking, enchanting, manipulated etc the energies at each planetary sphere an order is developed whereby solid work can be achieved. I feel like I have been skipping around, trying this, tasting that, and generally dabbling. It is time to get some depth. And so it shall be.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
In ritual tonight I used Salvia Divinorum 60x to achieve gnosis. Considering that I was attempting to root out the demon of my addiction, namely nicotine, I feel I was successful. An obnoxious repetition marked my gnosis. There was a very physical component as well, and not surprisingly. It was as if I were rolling into my self, over and over again. The auditory experience was just as bad, with a whiny, pesky voice also repeating itself in time to my physical pulsing. I acquired the sigil and the name and had conversation with this pest of an entity. I should note that there was also a bit of anxiety involved. Again not surprising considering the nature of nicotine.
I will also note that using dissociative for specific intents is exceedingly difficult. Honestly in all my years of practice I think this is the first time I have attempted a very specific intent during a chemi-gnosis. Fighting through the urge to just go with the flow was difficult, but once achieved rendered a tunnel vision focus indescribable.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Began working on a Hun Tun meditation today. Not quite intentional at first but my reading now is heavy in the Hun Tun current and extracurricular reading is rather mystically oriented (i.e. unification of existence). Developed a sigil during meditation and focused on that for some time. I began to concentrate on empty space. This began with the empty space in the organs of my body. My lungs have empty space that make them useful for breathing, my heart is empty so that blood can fill it, my stomach is empty so that food can enter. This all hearkened to Chapter 11 of the Tao Te Ching. My body is empty. Then I felt that particle acceleration from the other night, which led me to concentrating on the empty space between the cells, particles and atoms of my body. Several very strong moments of gnosis occurred during this. This was an excellent meditation overall and one that I feel worth repeating for a while. So begins the Hun Tun meditations.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
In spite of this I did have an excellent meditation last night. Despite the short duration and pain I experienced a particle acceleration that seemed to dissolve my being out and into my surroundings. This gnosis was strong and left me enlivened the rest of the night.
I finally got around to interpreting the hexagram from my last talismanic sigil working. It is possible that this waiting period allowed for the hexagram to act on me subconsciously as I have been acting according to the divination, and now will assuredly continue to do so.
Yü / Enthusiasm
Devotion to my work will inspire enthusiasm for it. There must be a natural obedience to my own personal flow or movement. This is indicated in the placement of K’un (obedience) below and Chên (movement) above. There is a warning in the old yin in the 3rd place. I have a tendency to do too much upward social comparison. This is not good for me as rather than basking in reflected glory I tend to look down on myself. This line indicates this. Looking up too much is mal-productive. If I were to be climbing a mountain and looked up at the peak of the mountain too often and for too long eventually I would lose my footing and fall. I must watch my feet and be in the moment of this movement if I ever expect to find myself at the peak. There needs to be no hesitation, as this will bread remorse. So, moving right along…
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Performed Invocation of Sun Wukong.
Results varied from participant to participant. For my part what little consciousness I managed to hold on to during the invocation left me feeling like I was being violently dragged around like a rag doll. I felt light, excited and full of energy afterward. Several items were enchanted and a protective talisman for the house of our hosts was created. Some advice was disseminated and some divinations occurred. Admittedly my report of results from this ritual are weak. I should have gotten a questionnaire together for the participants to fill out afterward. A note for myself and future workings of this nature.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
I have borrowed the servitor of a Soror. I performed the ritual this evening.
1. Lit single candle
2. SOI: “It is my will to offer these keys to [name of servitor] in trade for the return of my book Taoist Yoga.
3. Created sigil within a circle, placed keys in circle on top of sigil
4. Asked servitor out loud to take keys in trade for the return of my book
5. Chanted [name of servitor] for awhile then added “gimme back my stuff” ended up specifying, “gimme back my book”.
6. Chanted until gnosis was achieved.
7. Wrapped keys up in paper and hid it behind some stuff on a shelf.
During my chanting gnosis began to take on a pulsing rhythm. Interestingly the candle seemed to pick up its pulsing as my mantra and gnosis pulse increased in speed. This could have been due to my breathing toward the candle, though I thought it was rather light. It could also have been a trick of the eye induced by the gnosis. Regardless it aided me in my trance state. Each time the gnosis pulsed I shot the image of my lost book into the sigil. After awhile I let this fade into the imagery method described to me by the servitors creator.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
0. Banished by GPR
1. Meditated on the move and creation of jiaguwen sigil script.
2. In light trance state used brush stroke techniques to paint sigils (see Figure 1).
3. Threw coins to ascertain the Hexagram.
4. Used 20-sided die to obtain numbers to be interpreted through my personal gematria.
5. Banished by GPR
I will be using the Wilhelm/Baynes translation of the Book of Changes for this interpretation.
The hexagram obtained for my aspect of the move was Chên / the arousing (shock, thunder). I threw an old yang (9) at the beginning and an old yin (6) in the fifth place. This hexagram represents one of the eight repeating hexagrams. The trigram Chên is repeated. Here was see thunder repeated. “The first thunder denotes fear and trembling, the second denotes shaping and exploring.” (p. 649) There is no doubt how this plays into my concerns about this move. There is a lot of insecurity for both my wife and I. School does not exactly pay well and we have a child. However, the end result of this is that enduring the fear, enduring the initial shock of the move and perhaps enduring the fear of financial insecurity will pay off in the end.
Shock brings success.
Shock comes-oh, oh!
Laughing words-ha, ha!
He shock terrifies for a hundred miles,
And he does not let fall the sacrificial spoon and chalice.
The judgment commentary also deals heavily with the idea of beginning again in the spring, cultivating respect by attention to detail and stirring ones qi from below. All of these ideas play well into the idea of finishing my education. Not only will this require an attention to detail but will also foster a respect that will bring professional success.
Nine at the beginning repeats the initial judgment adding, “…Fear brings good fortune. … Afterward one has a rule.” (p. 649) Six in the fifth place again indicates success. This time there is the indication that nothing will be lost. While there is still danger, going “hither and thither” invokes this. There is indication to keep still, hold to my center. The danger is indicated by the nuclear trigram K’an while Kên indicates averting the danger by keeping still. It seems to be indicated that this has already been achieved by my already being on this path.
The hexagram for my wife concerning this potential move is intimately tied to mine. She obtained Wu Wang / innocence (the unexpected). There is a very strong interplay and relationship between my Chên and her Wu Wang. To start the lower trigram of Wu Wang is Chên, the repeating trigram in the hexagram Chên. Further, one of the nuclear trigrams in Wu Wang is Kên. As previously mentioned Kên is also a nuclear trigram of Chên. In fact they are in the same position within each hexagram. This will be expounded upon later.
This hexagram is ruled by an old yang in the first place and an old yang in the fifth place. This divination resulted in an old yang in the fifth place and an old yin in the second place. To begin the ruling judgment indicates “…the essence of the Creative, as well as the tirelessness of the supremely sincere.” (p. 509)
Should misfortune come it is sure to have an external origin, thus it will come and go. It seems that this may be counseling patience. If misfortune presents itself success will come in allowing it to take its course, not forcing anything and not concerning oneself too much with it. This theme is again repeated again with the old yang (9) in the fifth place. This line indicates that the individual is free of internal illness and that any illness befalling has come from those around him or her. “One should not try an unknown medicine.” (p. 513) This line ties back to not forcing anything. Be still (Kên) and things will work themselves out.
The old yang (9) at the top in combination with the old yang in the fifth concerns me. Here we are given,
Innocent action brings misfortune.
Action without reflection brings about the evil of
Bewilderment. (p. 513)
This is not a curse however, as we see the need for reflection. It seems that action itself will not bring misfortune but action without thought, reflection, perhaps planning in the case of this specific divination. In Wilhelm’s endnote on the hexagram he restates that the overall personality of this hexagram is that of innocent naïveté or being without ulterior motives. Nine at the top seems to indicate that the time for action has passed. I wonder if this is not referring to school in particular as my wife also toyed with the idea of schooling some more rather then working. This would confirm her leaning toward work. The end result of these line placement “indicate that for these lines the time has come to remain quiet.”
In sum, perhaps this is an indication that the ball has just bounced back into my court. There is no blame or fault in chilling out while the other acts. My personal interpretation is just that. I will be in a very active role finishing my degree. My wife will be in a more passive role, working. Active and passive here have been delineated by the original focus on school, which would be the primary reason for moving to Carrollton. I cannot further interpret my wife’s hexagram. I feel that she will have to take what I have thought and her own interpretation into consideration. My overall feeling however is that this will be a good move for me and not a terrible or bad move for my family. In the end, in the grand scheme, it seems favorable.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Too tired to expound upon these or do any major interpretation. This can wait for tomorrow. For now just to note I performed first a private divination and then a personal divination that required two hexagrams. More on that later.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Meditation this afternoon was forced but ended well. Felt exhausted and a bit loopy, presumably due to my fasting. Meditation began with microcosmic orbit in traditional posture. This gave way to a more relaxed freeform meditation. Eyes forced inward and cultivated qi in my hands. Here was a moment when my body vibrated and I pushed this energy into the imagined ball that I held in my lap. My hands tingled with static sensation; there were moments of lightning presence. I drew this into my tan t’ien. Meditation ended abruptly and shockingly when my phone rang. It was almost painful.