8:31:2008
AM
Still resting.
I can’t even breathe well enough to circulate my breath without coughing, which has become quite painful.
Dreamed looking out my window to find that the hurricane was calling for evacuation of my town. I noticed that they had dug a trench at the foot of my house, not a trench a huge hole and were lining the walls with cans and tires. I couldn’t figure out what the sense of this was as it seemed to me that it would just fill with water. Missy (a friend of mines dog) was sent across town to deliver a message. She took the message in her mouth and ran off, cutting up underneath debris and weaving past projectiles. So I ran upstairs to check the status of the storm. I looked out of my balcony, pretty high up and saw that the skies had darkened and the waves were crashing into the windows. These must have been at least 40-foot breaks. The sand had all been washed off of the beech, there was nothing but the bare rock shelves left. No sand. I wondered how long it would take till we had beeches again. Then I wondered if I was even going to survive.
This illness seems to be spurring dreams. Perhaps the uneasiness with which I sleep. Oceanic themes, dangerous waters. Looked up some info on Gustav this morning as well. It seems that the name would mean “staff of the gods”. Great thing to name a storm. And should this staff single us out in anger? We are now experiencing the outer edges of this storm. My prediction is that it will be near Katrina, apparently it is a cat 4 now (Katrina was cat 5) But evacuations have been better so death should not be as severe. These storms are going to get worse over the years. Our dreams will reflect this. If the “savior” came it would be in the eye of a hurricane. It is easy to see how jesus freaks could see these hurricanes as a cleansing from god. I can easily see it from my perspective as a cleansing from Gaia (that is the hypothesis). You are building castles in the sand people. Castles in the sand.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
castles in the sand
(keep an eye out for my ritual post. I am still working on that one, it may take a minute. It will be dated 8:29 and posted to my web page. I will let you know.)
8:31:2008
AM
Still resting.
I can’t even breathe well enough to circulate my breath without coughing, which has become quite painful.
Dreamed looking out my window to find that the hurricane was calling for evacuation of my town. I noticed that they had dug a trench at the foot of my house, not a trench a huge hole and were lining the walls with cans and tires. I couldn’t figure out what the sense of this was as it seemed to me that it would just fill with water. Missy (a friend of mines dog) was sent across town to deliver a message. She took the message in her mouth and ran off, cutting up underneath debris and weaving past projectiles. So I ran upstairs to check the status of the storm. I looked out of my balcony, pretty high up and saw that the skies had darkened and the waves were crashing into the windows. These must have been at least 40-foot breaks. The sand had all been washed off of the beech, there was nothing but the bare rock shelves left. No sand. I wondered how long it would take till we had beeches again. Then I wondered if I was even going to survive.
This illness seems to be spurring dreams. Perhaps the uneasiness with which I sleep. Oceanic themes, dangerous waters. Looked up some info on Gustav this morning as well. It seems that the name would mean “staff of the gods”. Great thing to name a storm. And should this staff single us out in anger? We are now experiencing the outer edges of this storm. My prediction is that it will be near Katrina, apparently it is a cat 4 now (Katrina was cat 5) But evacuations have been better so death should not be as severe. These storms are going to get worse over the years. Our dreams will reflect this. If the “savior” came it would be in the eye of a hurricane. It is easy to see how jesus freaks could see these hurricanes as a cleansing from god. I can easily see it from my perspective as a cleansing from Gaia (that is the hypothesis). You are building castles in the sand people. Castles in the sand.
8:31:2008
AM
Still resting.
I can’t even breathe well enough to circulate my breath without coughing, which has become quite painful.
Dreamed looking out my window to find that the hurricane was calling for evacuation of my town. I noticed that they had dug a trench at the foot of my house, not a trench a huge hole and were lining the walls with cans and tires. I couldn’t figure out what the sense of this was as it seemed to me that it would just fill with water. Missy (a friend of mines dog) was sent across town to deliver a message. She took the message in her mouth and ran off, cutting up underneath debris and weaving past projectiles. So I ran upstairs to check the status of the storm. I looked out of my balcony, pretty high up and saw that the skies had darkened and the waves were crashing into the windows. These must have been at least 40-foot breaks. The sand had all been washed off of the beech, there was nothing but the bare rock shelves left. No sand. I wondered how long it would take till we had beeches again. Then I wondered if I was even going to survive.
This illness seems to be spurring dreams. Perhaps the uneasiness with which I sleep. Oceanic themes, dangerous waters. Looked up some info on Gustav this morning as well. It seems that the name would mean “staff of the gods”. Great thing to name a storm. And should this staff single us out in anger? We are now experiencing the outer edges of this storm. My prediction is that it will be near Katrina, apparently it is a cat 4 now (Katrina was cat 5) But evacuations have been better so death should not be as severe. These storms are going to get worse over the years. Our dreams will reflect this. If the “savior” came it would be in the eye of a hurricane. It is easy to see how jesus freaks could see these hurricanes as a cleansing from god. I can easily see it from my perspective as a cleansing from Gaia (that is the hypothesis). You are building castles in the sand people. Castles in the sand.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Gaia Mother Dreaming
8:30:2008
Today has been a day of rest and recovery. Recovery mainly from this ickyness I have.
Dreamt a few dreams this morning.
XXXXX’s Mom came to me while I was lounging. She stood before me, desperate and a bit scared. Strange moment, she was also very sensual. I don’t know how to describe this, not sexual. She was sensual, like a cosmic world mother, like a deity. But she was in pain. The situation shifted and she was in the lounging position. She seemed a bit happier, at least more rested. Holy crap. I just realized something; the black, red and blue birds were not all. There were also Blue birds. That is the damn blue bird. It was quite plain and now that I think back on it I recognized it as such in the dream itself. So these birds were sitting on her face. She seems very happy about this. They seemed to sooth her. They were tiny like finches. They seemed to be grooming her. She was delighted by this and it seemed to stabilize her mood.
Sammy and I swimming in a brackish river. I found a bottle of port wine. We were going to drink it but an alligator swam up and we had to give it to him to pacify it so it would not eat us. I swam ashore. I had him in my arms and we are now watching sharks. Lots of sharks coming up to get warm in the shallow water. A lady comes up and tells us the tide will be rising soon. We try to move up the beech but now the bank is very steep and breaking up sand. I became stuck; I could not climb any higher without dropping Sammy. I dug my hand into a place and secured myself so I could hold for a while. I told the lady to get us some help because we could not make it up the steep bank without both of my hands, which were of course not free. She indicated that she would go for help. I was nervous but not terrified by any means. I was confident in this woman for some reason. So we settled in to wait. Sammy began to cry. I woke up.
Today has been a day of rest and recovery. Recovery mainly from this ickyness I have.
Dreamt a few dreams this morning.
XXXXX’s Mom came to me while I was lounging. She stood before me, desperate and a bit scared. Strange moment, she was also very sensual. I don’t know how to describe this, not sexual. She was sensual, like a cosmic world mother, like a deity. But she was in pain. The situation shifted and she was in the lounging position. She seemed a bit happier, at least more rested. Holy crap. I just realized something; the black, red and blue birds were not all. There were also Blue birds. That is the damn blue bird. It was quite plain and now that I think back on it I recognized it as such in the dream itself. So these birds were sitting on her face. She seems very happy about this. They seemed to sooth her. They were tiny like finches. They seemed to be grooming her. She was delighted by this and it seemed to stabilize her mood.
Sammy and I swimming in a brackish river. I found a bottle of port wine. We were going to drink it but an alligator swam up and we had to give it to him to pacify it so it would not eat us. I swam ashore. I had him in my arms and we are now watching sharks. Lots of sharks coming up to get warm in the shallow water. A lady comes up and tells us the tide will be rising soon. We try to move up the beech but now the bank is very steep and breaking up sand. I became stuck; I could not climb any higher without dropping Sammy. I dug my hand into a place and secured myself so I could hold for a while. I told the lady to get us some help because we could not make it up the steep bank without both of my hands, which were of course not free. She indicated that she would go for help. I was nervous but not terrified by any means. I was confident in this woman for some reason. So we settled in to wait. Sammy began to cry. I woke up.
Friday, August 29, 2008
results from Invocation of the immortal self
PM
Ritual. Temple M.F. 79.
Began with the Invocation of the Immortal Self.
http://j.a.garcia.93.googlepages.com/invocationoftheimmortalself
Results:
1. Pluto: void nothing, a state of no mind.
2. Neptune: whales, singing, swimming dancing whales
3. Uranus: over inflated ego, sightless action THE FOOL from the Thoth tarot! Eaten by a tiger. Except unlike the fool Uranus experiences the terror, the tiger leaps from the sun
4. Saturn: Earth, decomposition, sand, ashes, cold and damp.
5. Jupiter: Overconfidence, power drunk, temporary control of others, this never lasts of course, and is the planet of fallen leaders, but fallen leaders at their height. Ahh, but what a feeling.
6. Mars: of course this is the battle, but of a controlled method. This is not the planet of the berserker. This is talent and skill at the art of war, Sun Tzu. This is the beauty of war.
7. Earth: This is the dance, the heartbeat, drumming, stomping on the ground. Here is atlas carrying his load and Gaia carrying hers. This is also the release of these loved burdens, the world and the individual child, mortality of the masses vs. the mortality of your child. Earth is where we learn to lose that which we love. Earth is intimately involved with Saturn in this respect. Cosmologicly one could consider that the surface of the earth is the sphere of earth and that underfoot, cradled by the dirt of Gaia’s womb is Saturn. This is the 135°.
8. Venus is where you choose. Venus catches these falling dead babies and breaths life back into them through her bosom of life. Venus is the reflection of self. Venus reflects back to us what we are, like it or not. Not what we want to be, want to see, think we are. Venus is the antithesis of image management. Venus can kill the self through the self. Venus can also give us the power to love. This is the unconditional love of the gods. To love the self in all its ugliness is to love the all. What we see in the world that we hate, those things we loathe, these are reflections of ourselves. My fear of my grandmother’s dementia is fear of my own dementia. My fear of my mother’s death is fear of my own death. My hatred of injustice is the hatred of the injustices within myself. The immortal sees no reflection or sees the reflection of the ten thousand things when within the sphere of Venus.
9. Mercury: This is the yoga of art, reading, writing and study. Finding the self through understanding of all those things that make up the self. The more we discover the more we know what we are, the more we can accept our immortality. Paradigm shifting is an aspect of this. The student of magick, nay the student of existence, will do well to take this sphere seriously. We are born through our producing. We are born into our immortality via our generative force. If this force is but a puddle of effluvia on the floor then we are wasted. If this is the case, place a canvas on the floor to collect your workings!
10. Sun: From where all things are clear. One is simultaneously all these things and independent from them. What does one say about this state. Nothing.
The ritual conclusion left me exhausted and wet with sweet but feeling very clean, purified and healthy, even through this horrid cold, sinus infection, whatever the fuck illness that is still plaguing me.
Ritual. Temple M.F. 79.
Began with the Invocation of the Immortal Self.
http://j.a.garcia.93.googlepages.com/invocationoftheimmortalself
Results:
1. Pluto: void nothing, a state of no mind.
2. Neptune: whales, singing, swimming dancing whales
3. Uranus: over inflated ego, sightless action THE FOOL from the Thoth tarot! Eaten by a tiger. Except unlike the fool Uranus experiences the terror, the tiger leaps from the sun
4. Saturn: Earth, decomposition, sand, ashes, cold and damp.
5. Jupiter: Overconfidence, power drunk, temporary control of others, this never lasts of course, and is the planet of fallen leaders, but fallen leaders at their height. Ahh, but what a feeling.
6. Mars: of course this is the battle, but of a controlled method. This is not the planet of the berserker. This is talent and skill at the art of war, Sun Tzu. This is the beauty of war.
7. Earth: This is the dance, the heartbeat, drumming, stomping on the ground. Here is atlas carrying his load and Gaia carrying hers. This is also the release of these loved burdens, the world and the individual child, mortality of the masses vs. the mortality of your child. Earth is where we learn to lose that which we love. Earth is intimately involved with Saturn in this respect. Cosmologicly one could consider that the surface of the earth is the sphere of earth and that underfoot, cradled by the dirt of Gaia’s womb is Saturn. This is the 135°.
8. Venus is where you choose. Venus catches these falling dead babies and breaths life back into them through her bosom of life. Venus is the reflection of self. Venus reflects back to us what we are, like it or not. Not what we want to be, want to see, think we are. Venus is the antithesis of image management. Venus can kill the self through the self. Venus can also give us the power to love. This is the unconditional love of the gods. To love the self in all its ugliness is to love the all. What we see in the world that we hate, those things we loathe, these are reflections of ourselves. My fear of my grandmother’s dementia is fear of my own dementia. My fear of my mother’s death is fear of my own death. My hatred of injustice is the hatred of the injustices within myself. The immortal sees no reflection or sees the reflection of the ten thousand things when within the sphere of Venus.
9. Mercury: This is the yoga of art, reading, writing and study. Finding the self through understanding of all those things that make up the self. The more we discover the more we know what we are, the more we can accept our immortality. Paradigm shifting is an aspect of this. The student of magick, nay the student of existence, will do well to take this sphere seriously. We are born through our producing. We are born into our immortality via our generative force. If this force is but a puddle of effluvia on the floor then we are wasted. If this is the case, place a canvas on the floor to collect your workings!
10. Sun: From where all things are clear. One is simultaneously all these things and independent from them. What does one say about this state. Nothing.
The ritual conclusion left me exhausted and wet with sweet but feeling very clean, purified and healthy, even through this horrid cold, sinus infection, whatever the fuck illness that is still plaguing me.
In Frater Beenja’s ritual I participated as a drummer, circle guard and for a few fleeting moments here and there, the ghede. Nothing in the world like a good cigar, the smell of rum, bare feet and a dirt floor! When the ghede took me he took me and I was filled with the giddiest joy I have felt in a long time. Laughter filled my senses.
Beenja tried to take back the talisman at the end of the ritual. But there was a funny look in his eye, so I refused, and the look instantly left. Strange. But it is in a safe place. No worries, I will not be tricked by lingering spirits. I been roun de clock once oh twice mun!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
AM
CEPC and Sublimation
Didn’t perform for very long this morning. I woke up sick, was sick all day and am still sick now. This fucking sucks. I take this as a result, although a negative one. Perhaps I should begin focusing more on the quick and slow fires and the healing exorcises. Whatever, this is a call for me to get serious, get more organized about my practice, to practice more diligently. Perhaps monasticism is in order. If I am not better by tomorrow evening I will begin working on the tears of purification. I will try to push this illness out of me. This thing seems to have come from my grandmother who is sick in bed with bronchitis.
CEPC and Sublimation
Didn’t perform for very long this morning. I woke up sick, was sick all day and am still sick now. This fucking sucks. I take this as a result, although a negative one. Perhaps I should begin focusing more on the quick and slow fires and the healing exorcises. Whatever, this is a call for me to get serious, get more organized about my practice, to practice more diligently. Perhaps monasticism is in order. If I am not better by tomorrow evening I will begin working on the tears of purification. I will try to push this illness out of me. This thing seems to have come from my grandmother who is sick in bed with bronchitis.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
PM
Didn’t wake up in time to for Alicia to go to the park due to another animal situation. The Maggie Maggot the cat had to go to the vet for shots. So, Alicia didn’t have time to go walking, which means that I didn’t have time to do my meds. No worries though, it was a pretty good morning. Cant ask for much more than that most days. Strange night though. Sammy woke up at 2:30 am. Wide awake. No crying or anything, just awake and happy. He was so happy in fact that Alicia and I thought that it was morning and began getting out of bed, until we realized that it was 2:30! We managed to coax him back to sleep and then things got real strange.
My dreams were pretty intense. Last night I began thinking about the use of Kuei in my practices. Of course these demon ghosts are the often the diseased who have died unjustly or in ill manners. I found myself in a fight with some kid rock looking guy. I ws losing horridly. Then I realized that Sammy was in the car and so I called the police. This caused a huge issue as most everyone at the party (which turned out to be a funeral) were carrying. I felt bad about that as I could give a shit about other peoples drug habbits, and ordinarily I would just deal with thigns myself, but I cold not take too big a risk as Sammy was in my care. So I called the cops and people scattered. I realized then that I was at Donnie Land’s funeral. Though it was not his funeral it was his resurrection at my hand. I held his two sons and daughter in my arms crying and praying with them. I then set about the task of resurrecting Donnie Land. When he rose he expressed indebtedness to me. Donnie, I must admit, was not in life what I would call a moral, nor really even a nice guy. But he was powerful and if he were to take up a bureaucratic position in the Taoist hell then he would certainly be powerful there. So, Donnie Land is to be my first Kuei project.
Oh yeah, and the failed mantra sigil casting. As I was falling asleep I created a mantra in my head to win a bid on ebay. I did not win the bid. Then again the gnosis wasn’t really all that strong, nor was the effort I put into the mantra.
Didn’t wake up in time to for Alicia to go to the park due to another animal situation. The Maggie Maggot the cat had to go to the vet for shots. So, Alicia didn’t have time to go walking, which means that I didn’t have time to do my meds. No worries though, it was a pretty good morning. Cant ask for much more than that most days. Strange night though. Sammy woke up at 2:30 am. Wide awake. No crying or anything, just awake and happy. He was so happy in fact that Alicia and I thought that it was morning and began getting out of bed, until we realized that it was 2:30! We managed to coax him back to sleep and then things got real strange.
My dreams were pretty intense. Last night I began thinking about the use of Kuei in my practices. Of course these demon ghosts are the often the diseased who have died unjustly or in ill manners. I found myself in a fight with some kid rock looking guy. I ws losing horridly. Then I realized that Sammy was in the car and so I called the police. This caused a huge issue as most everyone at the party (which turned out to be a funeral) were carrying. I felt bad about that as I could give a shit about other peoples drug habbits, and ordinarily I would just deal with thigns myself, but I cold not take too big a risk as Sammy was in my care. So I called the cops and people scattered. I realized then that I was at Donnie Land’s funeral. Though it was not his funeral it was his resurrection at my hand. I held his two sons and daughter in my arms crying and praying with them. I then set about the task of resurrecting Donnie Land. When he rose he expressed indebtedness to me. Donnie, I must admit, was not in life what I would call a moral, nor really even a nice guy. But he was powerful and if he were to take up a bureaucratic position in the Taoist hell then he would certainly be powerful there. So, Donnie Land is to be my first Kuei project.
Oh yeah, and the failed mantra sigil casting. As I was falling asleep I created a mantra in my head to win a bid on ebay. I did not win the bid. Then again the gnosis wasn’t really all that strong, nor was the effort I put into the mantra.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
8:26:2008
PM
Nada
Woke up this morning and went back to sleep. My wife put my son in his crib and he was laughing and yelling. I went back to sleep. He next thing I know my wife is coming in from her first class and my boy is asleep in his crib. It was rather surreal and a bit unnerving. The day itself has been hectic. We decided to have the dog groomed and so this threw a kink in my planning, as did getting up two hours late. So the day was a mad dash, all day. I am finally here at the library at 8:30, round about 2 hours behind schedule. Two hours behind schedule, all because of a fucking dog and my horrid, failing Will to get my ass up out of bed.
However I take this as a success concerning the sigil casting. OCD functions under a pretty rigid system. Often, if one thing is out of sequence or disruptive to the plan then the system unravels and the individual is lost. I cannot afford to unravel, and I have to be flexible where my son’s needs are concerned. This does not include my own infortitude. People talk about armchair magickians! It would seem that I was a pillow magickian. I may as well lay in bed to do my meditations and call it the death posture, better still, the narco-posture and catalog my nodding off as gnosis! Perhaps we can call that Gnodding.
Self-flogging aside. I am here now, in my study room at the library. My Monks corner, with my books and my writing machine. I can see the bell tower from my window. I believe I am in the north-west corner of the library.
I should get to it so this day is not a complete waste where my work is concerned.
Just got off the phone with Dunn. Don’t forget the micro-macro cosmic connection! Bring it home. Bring it home.
PM
Nada
Woke up this morning and went back to sleep. My wife put my son in his crib and he was laughing and yelling. I went back to sleep. He next thing I know my wife is coming in from her first class and my boy is asleep in his crib. It was rather surreal and a bit unnerving. The day itself has been hectic. We decided to have the dog groomed and so this threw a kink in my planning, as did getting up two hours late. So the day was a mad dash, all day. I am finally here at the library at 8:30, round about 2 hours behind schedule. Two hours behind schedule, all because of a fucking dog and my horrid, failing Will to get my ass up out of bed.
However I take this as a success concerning the sigil casting. OCD functions under a pretty rigid system. Often, if one thing is out of sequence or disruptive to the plan then the system unravels and the individual is lost. I cannot afford to unravel, and I have to be flexible where my son’s needs are concerned. This does not include my own infortitude. People talk about armchair magickians! It would seem that I was a pillow magickian. I may as well lay in bed to do my meditations and call it the death posture, better still, the narco-posture and catalog my nodding off as gnosis! Perhaps we can call that Gnodding.
Self-flogging aside. I am here now, in my study room at the library. My Monks corner, with my books and my writing machine. I can see the bell tower from my window. I believe I am in the north-west corner of the library.
I should get to it so this day is not a complete waste where my work is concerned.
Just got off the phone with Dunn. Don’t forget the micro-macro cosmic connection! Bring it home. Bring it home.
Monday, August 25, 2008
OCD manifest
8:25:2008
AM
CEPC, sublimation meditation
This Monday marks the big shift, the schedule manifest. So my casting sigils for organization seem to be working. I acquired a palm pilot from Frater Idgaf who just happened to have one he didn’t use. So in order to achieve, amongst this whirlwind, a “near OCD” organization must be achieved. And so it seems to be.
PM
The evening’s research consisted of some pretty dry historical background stuff. I hope that I can jazz it up enough in the XaoTao to make it interesting. Some people get off on that stuff I suppose. It looks as though I will be able to create a 3rd modern tradition of the XaoTao. It fits in pretty well with the two old school traditions, Tao-chia and Tao-chiao. I wonder if I should not rearrange the title again to fit the historical line, Tao-chao or Tao-Xao. I don’t know. I like the XaoTao. Besides I think the Xao preceding makes an important statement, xaotism being the umbrella theory.
AM
CEPC, sublimation meditation
This Monday marks the big shift, the schedule manifest. So my casting sigils for organization seem to be working. I acquired a palm pilot from Frater Idgaf who just happened to have one he didn’t use. So in order to achieve, amongst this whirlwind, a “near OCD” organization must be achieved. And so it seems to be.
PM
The evening’s research consisted of some pretty dry historical background stuff. I hope that I can jazz it up enough in the XaoTao to make it interesting. Some people get off on that stuff I suppose. It looks as though I will be able to create a 3rd modern tradition of the XaoTao. It fits in pretty well with the two old school traditions, Tao-chia and Tao-chiao. I wonder if I should not rearrange the title again to fit the historical line, Tao-chao or Tao-Xao. I don’t know. I like the XaoTao. Besides I think the Xao preceding makes an important statement, xaotism being the umbrella theory.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
8:23-24:2008
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
This is the silence
I is the moment between
Inhale and exhale
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
This is the silence
I is the moment between
Inhale and exhale
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Friday, August 22, 2008
Transpersonal Thanatology
Transpersonal Psychology represents what has been called a fourth force in the movements of psychology (Chinen, 1996). In an attempt to counterbalance the two movements of the 1960s, psychoanalysis and behaviorism, a third force was born to focus psychology on more positive health oriented concerns rather than pathology and stimulus response (Chinen, 1996). This third force was the humanistic movement, which dealt with the human potential, psychological health and personal happiness. What this force was missing sparked Anthony Sutich, then founder and editor of the Journal of Humanistic Psychology, to begin holding meetings in his home to discuss topics that moved beyond mere psychological health and slipped unapologetically into the realm of mysticism and the spirit (Chinen, 1996).
From these meetings was born the above mentioned fourth force, transpersonal psychiatry and psychology. Bruce Scotton (1996) defines transpersonal psychiatry as;
"…psychiatry that seeks to foster development, correct developmental arrests, and heal traumas at all levels of development, including transpersonal levels. It extends the standard biopsychosocial model of psychiatry to a biopsychosocial-spiritual one in which the later stages of human development are concerned with development beyond, or transcendent of, the individual." (p. 4)
While humanistic psychology deals amicably with the individual and problems of the individual Self Transpersonal Psychology takes this a step beyond and deals with higher levels of human individuality, namely that of transcendence of individuality and the ego.
Psychoanalytic theory seems to have had a difficult time dealing with death as it relates to the phenomena that individuals will ultimately confront. While it does not seem to have dealt with the issue directly, it appears from Razinsky in his commentary on Freud’s essay “Thoughts for the Times on War and Death” that Freud himself did deal with the issue and was, as is common for Freud’s work, misunderstood. In the first instance, Razinsky cites several authors who argue that Freud’s view of death was reductionistic. To support the claim of reductionism he states Freud’s position was that fear of death stemmed from a separation anxiety. However, it is reductionist to take this statement and not consider it more deeply. What more could there be to fear of death? In the end, we ultimately develop ourselves based on our superegos. We spend our days defining ourselves by our consciousness, by our cultures, and by what we own. In fact much has been shown experimentally in terror management theory to support the idea that when we are confronted with our own mortality, we tend to cling more tightly to the things of our culture (Solomon, 1991). If we cling more tightly, this could indicate that we fear losing these things. This is in effect separation anxiety and there is very little reduction involved. These are very deep concerns of the individual psyche that must be dealt with in the face of death.
Razinsky points out two positions held by Freud concerning death, and claims that Freud’s problem is that he holds them simultaneously. This is simply not the case. It speaks well of Freud that he was able to do hold these two positions. The positions, as explained by Razinsky are: 1) We do not think about death because we do not want to; and, 2) that we cannot think about death. Both of these positions, in essence, are correct and not as contradictory as they may seem at first glance. Thinking too deeply on death for too long can lead to one of two outcomes. The individual can become crippled with fear and fall into obsessive attempts to avoid death or the individual can enter into a state of meditative realization, much like is described through the Bardo Thodal. In the Bardo Thodal, or the Tibetan Book of the Dead, the individual, through a series of deep meditations on the archetypes of the realm of death, ultimately is freed from the fear of death and prepared for the journey into the unknown (Evans-Wentz, 1960). We can see in this the use of thinking deeply on the subject, death, as an aid in ultimately freeing ourselves from the need to think about death, or at least the fear involved in its contemplation. Death is a complete unknown. The only thing we can truly contemplate concerning death is the process of dying, not death itself. Freud was not off the mark in his two positions; he was merely accepting two of the truths concerning death.
Whether there is an inability or an unwillingness to think about death is inconsequential to the dying. The dying not only think about death but are living out the process of death. While Freud may or may not have dealt with death in a psychoanalytical light, the reality of death could never be unearthed in an analyst’s chair the way it is with those who are undergoing the actual process of dying and those who are giving care to the dying.
Ego transcendence has been a primary concern in eastern religions such as Buddhism, Taoism, and Hinduism for thousands of years. Transpersonal psychology may very well represent the first time that ego transcendence has been taken seriously by academic circles in the West. The psychoanalysis of Freud was strongly grounded in theories of the ego and worked within this framework to heal the ego of the individual, or at least to allow for smoother functioning of the ego. Behaviorism ignored these ideas all together and looked at the human as a series of reactions to stimuli. Humanistic psychology looked at the individual as separate from the larger whole and focused on healing from this level. Transpersonal psychology looks at the experiences of the Buddhist, Taoist and Hindu, and considers the spiritual realm from which these levels of human functioning are being experienced.
Transcendence in Eastern philosophy and spirituality is viewed not only from the view that the True Self, or the essence of Self, is separating from the ego self, but a moment in which this True Self is united with a larger whole. Through certain yogic practices, meditation, and trance states the self or ego is transcended and the individual becomes united with the Self. The most notable moment of transcendence, the ultimate separation from the ego, can be seen as death. Death represents a separation of the individual from the biopsychosocial forms of being and entry into a realm that cannot be quantified or looked at through the lenses of empirical science. In this respect the only field of psychology equipped to deal with this aspect of the human experience is transpersonal psychology.
In the three primary religions of the East namely Hinduism, Taoism and Buddhism the function of transcendence is paramount. This transcendence is not only vital to proper death experience but is a goal of daily living as well. In achieving transcendence, which is perhaps synonymous with enlightenment in this case, the individual comes to a place in which death does not represent an end nor a separation. Death may in fact represent the fulfillment of an ultimate unity that the practitioner of transcendent methodologies has been cultivating throughout life.
In the Bhagavad Gita Sri Krishna explains to Arjuna how to die. One of the primary goals in Hinduism, living a good life, involves ending the cycle of samsara, or rebirth, that one may be united with the Lord in eternal peace. This peace involves not so much a consciousness afterlife as much as it does a single pointed knowing that is the goal of the meditations and yoga practiced by the Hindi. Krishna goes on to explain that what occupies the mind of the dying at the moment of death “determines the destination of the dying” (Bhagavad Gita, 8:6). It is vital, Krishna teaches, that the dying hold to the single pointed concentration learned during meditation to insure that the adhidaiva (eternal spirit) is absorbed into the unity of Krishna and not cycled back toward rebirth. The instruction given involves placing the mind at the heart during the moment of death. Here the heart may be correlated to the heart chakra (Bhagavad Gita, p.121). With this done and all thoughts on Krishna, the dying is instructed to push one’s energy up toward the top of the head while chanting the Sanskrit syllable “Om”. Krishna defines the meaning of this chanted syllable as “the changeless Brahman” (8:13), which is the Hindu concept of the ultimate energy that permeates and is indeed all things. This energy can be channeled, in a sense summoned, by the chanting of the syllable. With this chanting in progress and the adhidaiva pushed through the top of the head, Krishna indicates that the individual my leave the body and “attain the supreme goal” (8:13). The pushing of the energy through the top of the head may very well be intimating the Crown Chakra or Sahasrāra. This chakra has been described as starting out as a depression in the chakra system, much like that of a bowl. Only as the practitioner of yoga and meditation advances does this Chakra turn out forming the thousand pedaled lotus of the enlightened ones (Leadbeater, 1927). Also called the Crown Chakra, Leadbeater continues the analogy by drawing attention to the historical use of the Crown Chakra in Christian art where it is more often referred to as a halo. This symbolism and its use in the Bhagavad Gita draws attention to the need of the individual to become enlightened or “actualized” before death. Krishna himself reminds Arjuna what the meaning of the Lord is and how union with this Lord may be attained “This supreme Lord who pervades all existence, the true Self of all creatures, may be realized through undivided love.” (8:22)
In the Teaching of Buddha, the Buddha relays a story concerning the death of a child and the mourning mother. The mother who finds her child dead becomes obsessed with bringing her child back to life. She goes from house to house begging for someone to heal her child. Eventually she makes it to the Buddha who tells her that he will need three poppy seeds in order to heal her child. He further instructs the women that these seeds must come from a home in which death has never entered. Unable to find such a home, she returns to the Buddha and suddenly understands what he has taught her. Through this, we see the Buddhist’s accepting attitude of death, and the realization of its inevitability (The Teaching of Buddha, 3:5).
Within Buddhism there is a single text dedicated solely to the dead, dying and the bereaved: The Bardo Thodal or The Tibetan Book of the Dead. This text reads as a guide to the dead giving them one last chance to come to full realization and end the cycle of rebirth, to become one with Buddha nature. If the dead has begun the process described in the Bardo it is the person’s ill Karma or his or her attachment to the world of the living that has lead them to this level.
The guru begins to read to the dead thus, “O nobly-born, whatever fearful and terrifying visions thou mayst see, recognize them to be thine own thought-forms” (Evans-Wentz, 1960, p.147). From this point forward it is explained to the dead that he or she should meditate upon the precious trinity. If the deceased does not know how to do this it is explained that the Lhan-chig-skyes-pahi-lha (simultaneously born god) shall come before them along with the Lhan-chig-skyes-pahi-hdre (simultaneously born demon). It is understood to the student of the Bardo Thodal that these deities, as well as all other deities, encountered upon this plane are merely the illusions or hallucinations of the mind, attempting to understand the experience that is set upon them. It is exactly this belief that ultimately is to save the soul from eternal torment.
These two, God and Demon, come before the dead. The God comes with white stones to put upon the scales representing the good deeds of the person. The Demon comes with Black stones and puts them upon the scales representing the evil deeds of the person. It is explained to the dead that they will be scared during this time, nearly in a panic, and they will try desperately to justify themselves as they watch the black stones being laid out. This fear stems from the nature of the surrounding deities. For should they not pass this test and achieve illumination during this time, should they lie to the deities saying they have committed no sins, they shall be lassoed by one of the ‘executives of the lord of death’ and dragged off. The ‘executive’ then disembowels the dead with all the pain that would be produced in the body of the living. This being done, the body reconstructs itself and the moment repeats itself for an undetermined amount of time.
During the entirety of this scene, the Guru reading the text is coaching the dead on the precepts of illumination in the hopes that the person’s spirit may realize and escape the fate of being trapped in this judgment for any length of time (Evans-Wentz, 1960). The goal of this is to help the dead realize that the deities and events taking place around the consciousness of the person are indeed created out of that person’s consciousness. The dead must realize these events as illusory and that they cannot hurt the person or the spirit of the person. This process continues until the individual’s rebirth into a still more miserable life, or until illumination occurs and the individual is freed from this tormented vision of duality and enters oneness, unity or transcendence.
Taoism also holds this precept of unity. In the Hua Hu Ching translated by Hua-Ching Ni (1979), death is dealt with as a consequence of dualistic thinking more than a moment in and of itself. In Taoism, death does not rightly exist. We see death because we see life; we experience death because we experience life. Death is represented only because the universal oneness has not been realized: “Kind prince, if one still holds the divisive mental concepts of self and others, male and female, longevity and brevity, life and death, and so on without end, then one does not have an all-embracing awareness of the Universal Life” (p. 110). This is the type of realization that can be reached through actualization. This realization can aid a person in transcending the ego, transcending a dualist mindset, and ultimately aid the person in preparing for a peaceful acceptance of his or her role as the dying. Rather than fear an illusory separation, the individual may come to realize that there is ultimately nothing to separate.
Fear of death often runs much deeper than the separation from loved ones and lifetime acquisitions. It also has deep roots in the fear that one will lose the self, the knowing cognizing being that we believe to be the “I”. This is likewise dealt with in the Hua Hu Ching. In his elucidation of the original text, Hua-Ching Ni reminds the student that cognition and the contents of knowledge are of the brain cells. These things will die with the body. These things, however, are not the Self. The intuitions and character of the individual continue on after death and may be reincarnated (Ni, 1979). Intuition and character are of the one (or Tao), not the individual experiences that we experience the character and intuition through.
In looking at death as a process of dying, one begins to consider these issues of a good versus a bad death. The next step in this wondering is to ask how we may achieve a good death. Zalinski and Raspa (2006) adapted Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and the path toward actualization as one method through which we may aid the dying and perhaps eventually ourselves in the quest to achieve a good death.
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs can be looked at as a pyramid similar to that of the food pyramid, where the most basic of needs are at the bottom and actualization is at the top. At the base, physiological needs must be met. Maslow considers these to be needs in the order of food, water, and air (Maslow, 1968). Zalinski and Raspa adapted this to the need of the dying patient as being that of physical comfort, or the lack of pain. When a patient is in pain it may be difficult or even impossible for the patient to focus on anything else, disallowing safety needs to be met. Safety needs as described by Maslow include shelter from the elements and protection of the body and a security of resources. When these needs are applied to the dying, they transform slightly to include emotional safety. In this the dying should have freedom from the fear of dying (e.g. how they will die) and feel a sense of safety concerning their care (Zalinski & Raspa, 2006). Love and belonging as Zalinski and Raspa have it, is not much different from Malsow’s interpretation. For the dying this includes the love and acceptance of family members and friends as well as the care giving staff. Esteem needs are met in this schema by the dying individual’s ability to accept the new place that the individual finds himself or herself, as their role has changed. Where the dying may have been a provider or socialite in the past, they find themselves unable to perform these past social roles. This can lead individuals to feel that they are no longer worth anything. This, in combination with Emanuel’s work with the dying role, discussed later (Emanuel, Bennett & Richardson, 2007) may be beneficial as the individual learns to redefine the self and develop self esteem based on these new self-concepts. Unfortunately, Zalinski and Raspa fall short in their attempt to adapt actualization needs into the realm of the dying. While they do indicate that actualization is part and parcel of the idea of transcendence and the connection the actualized shares with the universe and other people, Zalinski and Raspa seem to miss the depth of the point that they themselves make.
With the dying being given the opportunity to climb the pyramid toward actualization, they are simultaneously given the opportunity to realize their own personal and ultimate truth. This truth can be seen as synonymous with the true Self. The individual whot has attained this moment of transcendence has effectively been prepared in mind and body for the transcendence of death. With this preparation, the individual can safely and securely enter into what perhaps can be seen as the most terrifying of journeys into the unknown. Should the dying be given this opportunity and take it wholeheartedly, the passage into death could possibly be seen as a beautiful moment of union rather than separation.
Picking up where Zalinski & Raspa left off, Smith (1995) deals extensively with the problem of death in traditional fields of psychology. She states that “traditional theories of psychology, on which some social work interventions are based, are highly ego identified in their focus and have heretofore lacked a theoretical framework for an ego-transcending phenomena such as death” (p. 403). Based on the assumption that individuals have a natural drive or “impulse” toward transcendent states, Smith (1995) argues for the use of transpersonal psychology in dealing with the death and the dying from a clinical perspective. Smith proposes a Transegoic Model through which the dying may experience the confrontation with mortality and ultimately death with a peaceful acceptance rather than fear and resistance.
The first stage of Smith’s model involves the normalization of death. Through normalization individuals can come to look at death as a natural part of the process of living rather than as an end to that living. Smith explains that the healing during this stage can take the form of dealing with the reality of ones situation rather than engaging is unrealistic wishes for health or longevity.
Emanuel Bennett & Richardson (2007) discuss this issue at length in their paper “The Dying Role”. In their paper they deal with the issues faced by the dying individual and come to the conclusion that “dying is by definition an existential matter” (p. 164). What the person is faced with can be seen as a “final growth phase” during which the individual may attempt to reconcile interpersonal relationships, finish tasks, or accomplish dreams. Ultimately however the individual will need to face dying itself and what this means concerning the beliefs of an afterlife, soul and Self. Emanuel Bennett & Richardson wisely call for caregivers to consider the needs of the dying in order for them to have a good death. In many ways this is intimately dependent on the roles that the caregivers of the dying assume. Considering the vast mosaic of spiritual beliefs and cosmologies, it may not be so much the need for medical expertise that the dying need as much as what Emanuel calls cultural and spiritual competence. For instance if the medical care continues for too long the individual may stay in the sick role, all the while hoping for a cure, rather than being allowed to begin the process of final growth in the dying role. This final growth into the dying role is paramount to the ability to have a good death, releasing oneself into a secure belief in a peaceful manner. To fight and struggle and enter death with resistance, while poetically a nice thought, is not in the end a good death. One’s last moments are, after all, one’s last moments. Remember Krishna’s words to Arjuna, “Whatever occupies the mind at the moment of death determines the destination of the dying; always they will tend toward that state of being.” (Bhagavad Gita, 8:6)
In Smith’s second stage “faith in the existential self” she points out the need for the individual to find personal meaning in life and to discover the True Self. Smith utilizes Frankl’s logotherapy in which “the patient is confronted with and reoriented to the meaning of his or her life” (p. 407). This meaning, as she points out, is highly individualistic. Of primary importance during this stage is overcoming conditioned meaning. For instance, through enculturation we may have been conditioned to believe that we are separate from our loved ones. This can cause the fear of separation from them through death. If the individual can relearn personal meaning and realize the unity of reality he or she can rest easier in a new belief, perhaps that we become closer to our loved ones through death. Tied into this philosophy of unity rather than separation, Smith draws from Assagioli’s psychosynthesis. Through this latter concept, the patient is guided to reorient personal feelings of “me” and “I” toward a type of role transcendence. Smith suggests continuing to ask the patient who they “are” until role naming (e.g. mother, father, doctor, teacher, student, etc.) has been exhausted and the patient is left with “an ‘I’ that simply is” (p. 407).
With this process fully integrated, the patient may be brought to the level of the third stage, Ego Disattachment. In this phase Smith draws from both Frankl and Assagioli while adding Maslow’s Being Cognition. Through Being Cognition the individual begins the process of integrating perception into a unified whole, realizing the oneness of existence. By continuing to dis-identify the True Self from preconceived definitions of self, the individual may begin to find a personal meaning for the process of death and death itself, as well as find peace in the realization that death does not signal a separation from the Self but may in fact signal a union with the Self (Smith, 1995).
In Smiths last stage, Self-transcendence, the patient continually works on the lower stages in the model and reaffirms the work done in those stages. As is implied by the title of this stage, the primary work in this stage is the process of letting go of the self, or the ego identification and then to ultimately redefine the self as the dead self. In this the patient will contemplate what they will be like when they are dead, what they will be doing, and what will be happening. Religion often offers patients a method through which to describe and visualize this future dead self. Being in heaven with one’s relatives or going through reincarnation can give the individual a sense that while life may be over, “being” is not. Smith cites the case of a woman who did not believe in an afterlife but was able to work through this stage within her belief that she would be a memory, and was able to spend her last days insuring that she would be a good memory to those that she loved (Smith, 1995). Eastern religions like the ones mentioned above offer much in the way of asserting the principle of ego transcendence and ultimate unity with the cosmos.
In conclusion it seems that what transpersonal psychology is offering the field of thanatology is what the religions of the East have been offering for centuries, transcendent union. The way Smith describes her stages for the patient dealing with death reads in very much the same way as the Bardo Thodal. In stage one, the Normalization of Death, we find the dead in the Bardo needing to realize that they are in fact dead. In stage two, Faith in the Existential Self, the individual “moves from a reactive stance to a proactive stance” (Smith, 1995, p.407). In the Bardo, the dead realizes the nightmarish dreams are manifestations of the illusion of dualistic being and can end the suffering of punishment for ill Karma at will. The Ego Disattachment of stage three is echoed throughout the methodologies of eastern practices. The dead in this case realize that they are no longer their body. Stage four, Self-Transcendence, in the Bardo can be seen as the moment of illumination when the individual realizes the illusory nature of individuality, and becomes absorbed into the cosmic consciousness of illumination or the Tao.
Considering the reality that we all are in fact going to die, the investigations of thanatology are vital to our functioning as holistic psychological beings. The religions of the East have given us guidance and preparation for mortality salience for centuries. We now see a synthesis of new and old techniques in the field of transpersonal psychology. Through a Transpersonal Thanatology we may learn not only how to die, but also a way to live that takes into account the entirety of the human experience, to include the inevitable end of that experience.
References
Chinen, A.B. (1996). The emergence of transpersonal psychiatry. In B.W. Scotton, A.B. Chinen & J.R. Battista (Eds.), Textbook of Transpersonal Psychiatry and Psychology (pp. 3-8). New York, NY: Basic Books.
Emanuel, L., Bennett, K., & Richardson, V.E. (2007). The dying role. Journal of Palliative Medicine, 10(1), 159-168.
Evans-Wentz, W.Y. (Ed.). (1960). The Tibetan Book of the Dead. London: Oxford University Press.
Maslow, A.H. (1968). Toward a Psychology of Being (2nd ed.). New York: D. Van Nostrand Company.
Ni, H.C. (Ed.). (1979). The Complete Works of Lao Tzu: Tao The Ching & Hua Hu Ching. Santa Monica: Seven Star Communications.
Razinsky, L. (2007). A psychoanalytic struggle with the concept of death: A new reading of Freud’s “thoughts for the times on war and death”. Psychoanalytic Review, 94(3), 355-387.
Scotton, B.W. (1996). Introduction and definition of transpersonal psychiatry. In B.W. Scotton, A.B. Chinen & J.R. Battista (Eds.), Textbook of Transpersonal Psychiatry and Psychology (pp. 3-8). New York, NY: Basic Books.
Smith, E.D. (1995). Addressing the psychospiritual distress of death as reality: A transpersonal approach. Social Work, 40(3), 402-413.
Solomon, S., Greenberg, J. & Pyszczynski, T. (1991). Terror management theory of self-esteem. In C.R. Snyder & D. Forsyth (Eds.), Handbook of Social and Clinical Psychology: The Health Perspective (pp. 21-40). New York: Pergamon Press.
The Bhagavad Gita: Translated for the Modern Reader: (1985). Tomales, CA: Nilgiri Press.
The Teaching of Buddha. (1966). Tokyo: Bukkyo Dendo Kyokia.
Zalenski, R.J., & Raspa, R. (2006). Maslow’s hierarchy of needs: A framework for achieving human potential in hospice. Journal of Palliative Medicine, 9(5), 1120-1127.
From these meetings was born the above mentioned fourth force, transpersonal psychiatry and psychology. Bruce Scotton (1996) defines transpersonal psychiatry as;
"…psychiatry that seeks to foster development, correct developmental arrests, and heal traumas at all levels of development, including transpersonal levels. It extends the standard biopsychosocial model of psychiatry to a biopsychosocial-spiritual one in which the later stages of human development are concerned with development beyond, or transcendent of, the individual." (p. 4)
While humanistic psychology deals amicably with the individual and problems of the individual Self Transpersonal Psychology takes this a step beyond and deals with higher levels of human individuality, namely that of transcendence of individuality and the ego.
Psychoanalytic theory seems to have had a difficult time dealing with death as it relates to the phenomena that individuals will ultimately confront. While it does not seem to have dealt with the issue directly, it appears from Razinsky in his commentary on Freud’s essay “Thoughts for the Times on War and Death” that Freud himself did deal with the issue and was, as is common for Freud’s work, misunderstood. In the first instance, Razinsky cites several authors who argue that Freud’s view of death was reductionistic. To support the claim of reductionism he states Freud’s position was that fear of death stemmed from a separation anxiety. However, it is reductionist to take this statement and not consider it more deeply. What more could there be to fear of death? In the end, we ultimately develop ourselves based on our superegos. We spend our days defining ourselves by our consciousness, by our cultures, and by what we own. In fact much has been shown experimentally in terror management theory to support the idea that when we are confronted with our own mortality, we tend to cling more tightly to the things of our culture (Solomon, 1991). If we cling more tightly, this could indicate that we fear losing these things. This is in effect separation anxiety and there is very little reduction involved. These are very deep concerns of the individual psyche that must be dealt with in the face of death.
Razinsky points out two positions held by Freud concerning death, and claims that Freud’s problem is that he holds them simultaneously. This is simply not the case. It speaks well of Freud that he was able to do hold these two positions. The positions, as explained by Razinsky are: 1) We do not think about death because we do not want to; and, 2) that we cannot think about death. Both of these positions, in essence, are correct and not as contradictory as they may seem at first glance. Thinking too deeply on death for too long can lead to one of two outcomes. The individual can become crippled with fear and fall into obsessive attempts to avoid death or the individual can enter into a state of meditative realization, much like is described through the Bardo Thodal. In the Bardo Thodal, or the Tibetan Book of the Dead, the individual, through a series of deep meditations on the archetypes of the realm of death, ultimately is freed from the fear of death and prepared for the journey into the unknown (Evans-Wentz, 1960). We can see in this the use of thinking deeply on the subject, death, as an aid in ultimately freeing ourselves from the need to think about death, or at least the fear involved in its contemplation. Death is a complete unknown. The only thing we can truly contemplate concerning death is the process of dying, not death itself. Freud was not off the mark in his two positions; he was merely accepting two of the truths concerning death.
Whether there is an inability or an unwillingness to think about death is inconsequential to the dying. The dying not only think about death but are living out the process of death. While Freud may or may not have dealt with death in a psychoanalytical light, the reality of death could never be unearthed in an analyst’s chair the way it is with those who are undergoing the actual process of dying and those who are giving care to the dying.
Ego transcendence has been a primary concern in eastern religions such as Buddhism, Taoism, and Hinduism for thousands of years. Transpersonal psychology may very well represent the first time that ego transcendence has been taken seriously by academic circles in the West. The psychoanalysis of Freud was strongly grounded in theories of the ego and worked within this framework to heal the ego of the individual, or at least to allow for smoother functioning of the ego. Behaviorism ignored these ideas all together and looked at the human as a series of reactions to stimuli. Humanistic psychology looked at the individual as separate from the larger whole and focused on healing from this level. Transpersonal psychology looks at the experiences of the Buddhist, Taoist and Hindu, and considers the spiritual realm from which these levels of human functioning are being experienced.
Transcendence in Eastern philosophy and spirituality is viewed not only from the view that the True Self, or the essence of Self, is separating from the ego self, but a moment in which this True Self is united with a larger whole. Through certain yogic practices, meditation, and trance states the self or ego is transcended and the individual becomes united with the Self. The most notable moment of transcendence, the ultimate separation from the ego, can be seen as death. Death represents a separation of the individual from the biopsychosocial forms of being and entry into a realm that cannot be quantified or looked at through the lenses of empirical science. In this respect the only field of psychology equipped to deal with this aspect of the human experience is transpersonal psychology.
In the three primary religions of the East namely Hinduism, Taoism and Buddhism the function of transcendence is paramount. This transcendence is not only vital to proper death experience but is a goal of daily living as well. In achieving transcendence, which is perhaps synonymous with enlightenment in this case, the individual comes to a place in which death does not represent an end nor a separation. Death may in fact represent the fulfillment of an ultimate unity that the practitioner of transcendent methodologies has been cultivating throughout life.
In the Bhagavad Gita Sri Krishna explains to Arjuna how to die. One of the primary goals in Hinduism, living a good life, involves ending the cycle of samsara, or rebirth, that one may be united with the Lord in eternal peace. This peace involves not so much a consciousness afterlife as much as it does a single pointed knowing that is the goal of the meditations and yoga practiced by the Hindi. Krishna goes on to explain that what occupies the mind of the dying at the moment of death “determines the destination of the dying” (Bhagavad Gita, 8:6). It is vital, Krishna teaches, that the dying hold to the single pointed concentration learned during meditation to insure that the adhidaiva (eternal spirit) is absorbed into the unity of Krishna and not cycled back toward rebirth. The instruction given involves placing the mind at the heart during the moment of death. Here the heart may be correlated to the heart chakra (Bhagavad Gita, p.121). With this done and all thoughts on Krishna, the dying is instructed to push one’s energy up toward the top of the head while chanting the Sanskrit syllable “Om”. Krishna defines the meaning of this chanted syllable as “the changeless Brahman” (8:13), which is the Hindu concept of the ultimate energy that permeates and is indeed all things. This energy can be channeled, in a sense summoned, by the chanting of the syllable. With this chanting in progress and the adhidaiva pushed through the top of the head, Krishna indicates that the individual my leave the body and “attain the supreme goal” (8:13). The pushing of the energy through the top of the head may very well be intimating the Crown Chakra or Sahasrāra. This chakra has been described as starting out as a depression in the chakra system, much like that of a bowl. Only as the practitioner of yoga and meditation advances does this Chakra turn out forming the thousand pedaled lotus of the enlightened ones (Leadbeater, 1927). Also called the Crown Chakra, Leadbeater continues the analogy by drawing attention to the historical use of the Crown Chakra in Christian art where it is more often referred to as a halo. This symbolism and its use in the Bhagavad Gita draws attention to the need of the individual to become enlightened or “actualized” before death. Krishna himself reminds Arjuna what the meaning of the Lord is and how union with this Lord may be attained “This supreme Lord who pervades all existence, the true Self of all creatures, may be realized through undivided love.” (8:22)
In the Teaching of Buddha, the Buddha relays a story concerning the death of a child and the mourning mother. The mother who finds her child dead becomes obsessed with bringing her child back to life. She goes from house to house begging for someone to heal her child. Eventually she makes it to the Buddha who tells her that he will need three poppy seeds in order to heal her child. He further instructs the women that these seeds must come from a home in which death has never entered. Unable to find such a home, she returns to the Buddha and suddenly understands what he has taught her. Through this, we see the Buddhist’s accepting attitude of death, and the realization of its inevitability (The Teaching of Buddha, 3:5).
Within Buddhism there is a single text dedicated solely to the dead, dying and the bereaved: The Bardo Thodal or The Tibetan Book of the Dead. This text reads as a guide to the dead giving them one last chance to come to full realization and end the cycle of rebirth, to become one with Buddha nature. If the dead has begun the process described in the Bardo it is the person’s ill Karma or his or her attachment to the world of the living that has lead them to this level.
The guru begins to read to the dead thus, “O nobly-born, whatever fearful and terrifying visions thou mayst see, recognize them to be thine own thought-forms” (Evans-Wentz, 1960, p.147). From this point forward it is explained to the dead that he or she should meditate upon the precious trinity. If the deceased does not know how to do this it is explained that the Lhan-chig-skyes-pahi-lha (simultaneously born god) shall come before them along with the Lhan-chig-skyes-pahi-hdre (simultaneously born demon). It is understood to the student of the Bardo Thodal that these deities, as well as all other deities, encountered upon this plane are merely the illusions or hallucinations of the mind, attempting to understand the experience that is set upon them. It is exactly this belief that ultimately is to save the soul from eternal torment.
These two, God and Demon, come before the dead. The God comes with white stones to put upon the scales representing the good deeds of the person. The Demon comes with Black stones and puts them upon the scales representing the evil deeds of the person. It is explained to the dead that they will be scared during this time, nearly in a panic, and they will try desperately to justify themselves as they watch the black stones being laid out. This fear stems from the nature of the surrounding deities. For should they not pass this test and achieve illumination during this time, should they lie to the deities saying they have committed no sins, they shall be lassoed by one of the ‘executives of the lord of death’ and dragged off. The ‘executive’ then disembowels the dead with all the pain that would be produced in the body of the living. This being done, the body reconstructs itself and the moment repeats itself for an undetermined amount of time.
During the entirety of this scene, the Guru reading the text is coaching the dead on the precepts of illumination in the hopes that the person’s spirit may realize and escape the fate of being trapped in this judgment for any length of time (Evans-Wentz, 1960). The goal of this is to help the dead realize that the deities and events taking place around the consciousness of the person are indeed created out of that person’s consciousness. The dead must realize these events as illusory and that they cannot hurt the person or the spirit of the person. This process continues until the individual’s rebirth into a still more miserable life, or until illumination occurs and the individual is freed from this tormented vision of duality and enters oneness, unity or transcendence.
Taoism also holds this precept of unity. In the Hua Hu Ching translated by Hua-Ching Ni (1979), death is dealt with as a consequence of dualistic thinking more than a moment in and of itself. In Taoism, death does not rightly exist. We see death because we see life; we experience death because we experience life. Death is represented only because the universal oneness has not been realized: “Kind prince, if one still holds the divisive mental concepts of self and others, male and female, longevity and brevity, life and death, and so on without end, then one does not have an all-embracing awareness of the Universal Life” (p. 110). This is the type of realization that can be reached through actualization. This realization can aid a person in transcending the ego, transcending a dualist mindset, and ultimately aid the person in preparing for a peaceful acceptance of his or her role as the dying. Rather than fear an illusory separation, the individual may come to realize that there is ultimately nothing to separate.
Fear of death often runs much deeper than the separation from loved ones and lifetime acquisitions. It also has deep roots in the fear that one will lose the self, the knowing cognizing being that we believe to be the “I”. This is likewise dealt with in the Hua Hu Ching. In his elucidation of the original text, Hua-Ching Ni reminds the student that cognition and the contents of knowledge are of the brain cells. These things will die with the body. These things, however, are not the Self. The intuitions and character of the individual continue on after death and may be reincarnated (Ni, 1979). Intuition and character are of the one (or Tao), not the individual experiences that we experience the character and intuition through.
In looking at death as a process of dying, one begins to consider these issues of a good versus a bad death. The next step in this wondering is to ask how we may achieve a good death. Zalinski and Raspa (2006) adapted Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and the path toward actualization as one method through which we may aid the dying and perhaps eventually ourselves in the quest to achieve a good death.
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs can be looked at as a pyramid similar to that of the food pyramid, where the most basic of needs are at the bottom and actualization is at the top. At the base, physiological needs must be met. Maslow considers these to be needs in the order of food, water, and air (Maslow, 1968). Zalinski and Raspa adapted this to the need of the dying patient as being that of physical comfort, or the lack of pain. When a patient is in pain it may be difficult or even impossible for the patient to focus on anything else, disallowing safety needs to be met. Safety needs as described by Maslow include shelter from the elements and protection of the body and a security of resources. When these needs are applied to the dying, they transform slightly to include emotional safety. In this the dying should have freedom from the fear of dying (e.g. how they will die) and feel a sense of safety concerning their care (Zalinski & Raspa, 2006). Love and belonging as Zalinski and Raspa have it, is not much different from Malsow’s interpretation. For the dying this includes the love and acceptance of family members and friends as well as the care giving staff. Esteem needs are met in this schema by the dying individual’s ability to accept the new place that the individual finds himself or herself, as their role has changed. Where the dying may have been a provider or socialite in the past, they find themselves unable to perform these past social roles. This can lead individuals to feel that they are no longer worth anything. This, in combination with Emanuel’s work with the dying role, discussed later (Emanuel, Bennett & Richardson, 2007) may be beneficial as the individual learns to redefine the self and develop self esteem based on these new self-concepts. Unfortunately, Zalinski and Raspa fall short in their attempt to adapt actualization needs into the realm of the dying. While they do indicate that actualization is part and parcel of the idea of transcendence and the connection the actualized shares with the universe and other people, Zalinski and Raspa seem to miss the depth of the point that they themselves make.
With the dying being given the opportunity to climb the pyramid toward actualization, they are simultaneously given the opportunity to realize their own personal and ultimate truth. This truth can be seen as synonymous with the true Self. The individual whot has attained this moment of transcendence has effectively been prepared in mind and body for the transcendence of death. With this preparation, the individual can safely and securely enter into what perhaps can be seen as the most terrifying of journeys into the unknown. Should the dying be given this opportunity and take it wholeheartedly, the passage into death could possibly be seen as a beautiful moment of union rather than separation.
Picking up where Zalinski & Raspa left off, Smith (1995) deals extensively with the problem of death in traditional fields of psychology. She states that “traditional theories of psychology, on which some social work interventions are based, are highly ego identified in their focus and have heretofore lacked a theoretical framework for an ego-transcending phenomena such as death” (p. 403). Based on the assumption that individuals have a natural drive or “impulse” toward transcendent states, Smith (1995) argues for the use of transpersonal psychology in dealing with the death and the dying from a clinical perspective. Smith proposes a Transegoic Model through which the dying may experience the confrontation with mortality and ultimately death with a peaceful acceptance rather than fear and resistance.
The first stage of Smith’s model involves the normalization of death. Through normalization individuals can come to look at death as a natural part of the process of living rather than as an end to that living. Smith explains that the healing during this stage can take the form of dealing with the reality of ones situation rather than engaging is unrealistic wishes for health or longevity.
Emanuel Bennett & Richardson (2007) discuss this issue at length in their paper “The Dying Role”. In their paper they deal with the issues faced by the dying individual and come to the conclusion that “dying is by definition an existential matter” (p. 164). What the person is faced with can be seen as a “final growth phase” during which the individual may attempt to reconcile interpersonal relationships, finish tasks, or accomplish dreams. Ultimately however the individual will need to face dying itself and what this means concerning the beliefs of an afterlife, soul and Self. Emanuel Bennett & Richardson wisely call for caregivers to consider the needs of the dying in order for them to have a good death. In many ways this is intimately dependent on the roles that the caregivers of the dying assume. Considering the vast mosaic of spiritual beliefs and cosmologies, it may not be so much the need for medical expertise that the dying need as much as what Emanuel calls cultural and spiritual competence. For instance if the medical care continues for too long the individual may stay in the sick role, all the while hoping for a cure, rather than being allowed to begin the process of final growth in the dying role. This final growth into the dying role is paramount to the ability to have a good death, releasing oneself into a secure belief in a peaceful manner. To fight and struggle and enter death with resistance, while poetically a nice thought, is not in the end a good death. One’s last moments are, after all, one’s last moments. Remember Krishna’s words to Arjuna, “Whatever occupies the mind at the moment of death determines the destination of the dying; always they will tend toward that state of being.” (Bhagavad Gita, 8:6)
In Smith’s second stage “faith in the existential self” she points out the need for the individual to find personal meaning in life and to discover the True Self. Smith utilizes Frankl’s logotherapy in which “the patient is confronted with and reoriented to the meaning of his or her life” (p. 407). This meaning, as she points out, is highly individualistic. Of primary importance during this stage is overcoming conditioned meaning. For instance, through enculturation we may have been conditioned to believe that we are separate from our loved ones. This can cause the fear of separation from them through death. If the individual can relearn personal meaning and realize the unity of reality he or she can rest easier in a new belief, perhaps that we become closer to our loved ones through death. Tied into this philosophy of unity rather than separation, Smith draws from Assagioli’s psychosynthesis. Through this latter concept, the patient is guided to reorient personal feelings of “me” and “I” toward a type of role transcendence. Smith suggests continuing to ask the patient who they “are” until role naming (e.g. mother, father, doctor, teacher, student, etc.) has been exhausted and the patient is left with “an ‘I’ that simply is” (p. 407).
With this process fully integrated, the patient may be brought to the level of the third stage, Ego Disattachment. In this phase Smith draws from both Frankl and Assagioli while adding Maslow’s Being Cognition. Through Being Cognition the individual begins the process of integrating perception into a unified whole, realizing the oneness of existence. By continuing to dis-identify the True Self from preconceived definitions of self, the individual may begin to find a personal meaning for the process of death and death itself, as well as find peace in the realization that death does not signal a separation from the Self but may in fact signal a union with the Self (Smith, 1995).
In Smiths last stage, Self-transcendence, the patient continually works on the lower stages in the model and reaffirms the work done in those stages. As is implied by the title of this stage, the primary work in this stage is the process of letting go of the self, or the ego identification and then to ultimately redefine the self as the dead self. In this the patient will contemplate what they will be like when they are dead, what they will be doing, and what will be happening. Religion often offers patients a method through which to describe and visualize this future dead self. Being in heaven with one’s relatives or going through reincarnation can give the individual a sense that while life may be over, “being” is not. Smith cites the case of a woman who did not believe in an afterlife but was able to work through this stage within her belief that she would be a memory, and was able to spend her last days insuring that she would be a good memory to those that she loved (Smith, 1995). Eastern religions like the ones mentioned above offer much in the way of asserting the principle of ego transcendence and ultimate unity with the cosmos.
In conclusion it seems that what transpersonal psychology is offering the field of thanatology is what the religions of the East have been offering for centuries, transcendent union. The way Smith describes her stages for the patient dealing with death reads in very much the same way as the Bardo Thodal. In stage one, the Normalization of Death, we find the dead in the Bardo needing to realize that they are in fact dead. In stage two, Faith in the Existential Self, the individual “moves from a reactive stance to a proactive stance” (Smith, 1995, p.407). In the Bardo, the dead realizes the nightmarish dreams are manifestations of the illusion of dualistic being and can end the suffering of punishment for ill Karma at will. The Ego Disattachment of stage three is echoed throughout the methodologies of eastern practices. The dead in this case realize that they are no longer their body. Stage four, Self-Transcendence, in the Bardo can be seen as the moment of illumination when the individual realizes the illusory nature of individuality, and becomes absorbed into the cosmic consciousness of illumination or the Tao.
Considering the reality that we all are in fact going to die, the investigations of thanatology are vital to our functioning as holistic psychological beings. The religions of the East have given us guidance and preparation for mortality salience for centuries. We now see a synthesis of new and old techniques in the field of transpersonal psychology. Through a Transpersonal Thanatology we may learn not only how to die, but also a way to live that takes into account the entirety of the human experience, to include the inevitable end of that experience.
References
Chinen, A.B. (1996). The emergence of transpersonal psychiatry. In B.W. Scotton, A.B. Chinen & J.R. Battista (Eds.), Textbook of Transpersonal Psychiatry and Psychology (pp. 3-8). New York, NY: Basic Books.
Emanuel, L., Bennett, K., & Richardson, V.E. (2007). The dying role. Journal of Palliative Medicine, 10(1), 159-168.
Evans-Wentz, W.Y. (Ed.). (1960). The Tibetan Book of the Dead. London: Oxford University Press.
Maslow, A.H. (1968). Toward a Psychology of Being (2nd ed.). New York: D. Van Nostrand Company.
Ni, H.C. (Ed.). (1979). The Complete Works of Lao Tzu: Tao The Ching & Hua Hu Ching. Santa Monica: Seven Star Communications.
Razinsky, L. (2007). A psychoanalytic struggle with the concept of death: A new reading of Freud’s “thoughts for the times on war and death”. Psychoanalytic Review, 94(3), 355-387.
Scotton, B.W. (1996). Introduction and definition of transpersonal psychiatry. In B.W. Scotton, A.B. Chinen & J.R. Battista (Eds.), Textbook of Transpersonal Psychiatry and Psychology (pp. 3-8). New York, NY: Basic Books.
Smith, E.D. (1995). Addressing the psychospiritual distress of death as reality: A transpersonal approach. Social Work, 40(3), 402-413.
Solomon, S., Greenberg, J. & Pyszczynski, T. (1991). Terror management theory of self-esteem. In C.R. Snyder & D. Forsyth (Eds.), Handbook of Social and Clinical Psychology: The Health Perspective (pp. 21-40). New York: Pergamon Press.
The Bhagavad Gita: Translated for the Modern Reader: (1985). Tomales, CA: Nilgiri Press.
The Teaching of Buddha. (1966). Tokyo: Bukkyo Dendo Kyokia.
Zalenski, R.J., & Raspa, R. (2006). Maslow’s hierarchy of needs: A framework for achieving human potential in hospice. Journal of Palliative Medicine, 9(5), 1120-1127.
In response to Beenja and Halcyon
"Don't forget to wash behind your ears" ---baby jesus
A few things; I think we forget that paradigms are man-made. It is the stuff within which the paradigm manifests that is the ether or shadow-time or whatever you want to call it.
There is no one path to get to. There is no truth, or ultimate reality. There is only this fractal picture on multiple dimensions. We just happen to create our art with the medium of belief and mythology.
So what is chaos magick? We like to think of chaos magick as a TOE. We like to think we have stumbled upon the ultimate answer, that there are no answers (read there are infinite answers). Have we? Fuck yeah we have. Chaos magick, or more accurately CMT, is not a magick proper, it is a theory of how magick works, the best ways to use magick, and then a few tests and measures of our ability. It really is not all that new a concept, except in name. Let me say that one again. CMT is not a magickal paradigm it is a metatheory in that it concerns the development and use (magickal theory) of many (all) paradigms. It cannot be a paradigm proper in and of itself. I should not say that. As it can and has been used as a paradigm, however I do not think this was its original intent. But that does not matter. What happens when you use chaos magick as a paradigm is that it simply is sucked up in the funnel of the metatheory. So now chaos magick is only one more paradigm that is dealt with by CMT.
What makes a chaos magickian?; the use of paradigms as tools rather than dogmatic beliefs, the ability to use any paradigm to achieve ones Will. Chaos magickians are practical anthropologists. We are mythological relativists. Chaos magick is like finding the squeaker in a squeaky toy. When we do this we realize not only how the toy squeaked but suddenly realize that we can put that squeaker in any toy we want and get the same result!
Frater ChimPanZ wrote on the matter in Liber Crux…
0
Chaos Majik does not exist;A few things; I think we forget that paradigms are man-made. It is the stuff within which the paradigm manifests that is the ether or shadow-time or whatever you want to call it.
There is no one path to get to. There is no truth, or ultimate reality. There is only this fractal picture on multiple dimensions. We just happen to create our art with the medium of belief and mythology.
So what is chaos magick? We like to think of chaos magick as a TOE. We like to think we have stumbled upon the ultimate answer, that there are no answers (read there are infinite answers). Have we? Fuck yeah we have. Chaos magick, or more accurately CMT, is not a magick proper, it is a theory of how magick works, the best ways to use magick, and then a few tests and measures of our ability. It really is not all that new a concept, except in name. Let me say that one again. CMT is not a magickal paradigm it is a metatheory in that it concerns the development and use (magickal theory) of many (all) paradigms. It cannot be a paradigm proper in and of itself. I should not say that. As it can and has been used as a paradigm, however I do not think this was its original intent. But that does not matter. What happens when you use chaos magick as a paradigm is that it simply is sucked up in the funnel of the metatheory. So now chaos magick is only one more paradigm that is dealt with by CMT.
What makes a chaos magickian?; the use of paradigms as tools rather than dogmatic beliefs, the ability to use any paradigm to achieve ones Will. Chaos magickians are practical anthropologists. We are mythological relativists. Chaos magick is like finding the squeaker in a squeaky toy. When we do this we realize not only how the toy squeaked but suddenly realize that we can put that squeaker in any toy we want and get the same result!
Frater ChimPanZ wrote on the matter in Liber Crux…
0
there is no boundary, there is no circumference.
Containing nothing and binding nothing,
the sphere that extends beyond infinite probability contains all existing
and non-existing realms.
The chaos majician stands in the center of a single universe called Will.
The chaos majician chooses to extend these rays into the void to create Is from Naught. The chaos majician is Nothing.
Nothing is the circumference of All.
All is Willed being.
The Chaos majician is Being.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
First Day as Taoist Monk Daddy
8:21:2008
AM
Nada
My wife just pointed out that today, the day that powerhouse power sports will be getting our letter of intent to sue, a huge horizon-to-horizon tropical storm is rolling in. Mwaaaa haa haaaa!
PM
Today was a full break from all magickal/yogic activity. Not that that is a good thing or that I needed it. Today was however my first day as a full time stay at home dad. Pretty intense. I thought that I would feel like a slacker but I felt quite the opposite. I don’t know that in all of my years of doing I have felt so accomplished at the end of the day. And I don’t feel like I did anything, but I did. This was a perfect wu-wei day.
Not that there weren’t some issues that came up, as always on Wednesday and Thursday. These are the days that my grandma doesn’t work. She seems to be agitated all day and tends to lash out at me in ultra-passive aggressive ways. I suppose because I present myself as an authority to my family they feel resentment toward me or think I am an ass hole. The reason I mention this is that it plays into my development of compassionate acceptance. I am stuck in the whirlwind of the yin and the yang. On the one hand I have blossoming life, my greatest joy. On the other hand I have withering life, and a great sadness. It is dizzying. It is also very difficult for me to remain centered a lot of the time.
These practices (CEPC and Sublimation) seem to have made me much more sensitive to psychic energy. I feel dizzied by fucked up energy. It feels almost like vertigo. When my grandma has dementia spells I can almost feel the lack of inhibition in her brain, it is like a firestorm of fucked up activity. It makes the hair on my neck stand up, sends shivers down my spine, makes me dizzy, the whole bit. I would do work to shield myself form this but I think that it may end up being a good thing. I feel like it may be good to have a sense, or to know, when this is going to take place. My wife actually began picking it up in this way before I did.
This whole thing is difficult for me because I love my grandmother. But, she is not who she was. She is at the point that without medicine and medical intervention she would be dying if not dead. This is where our social fear of death has perpetuated itself. Death is not supposed to be this great pain, this scary ass dementia filled disorientation. The body is supposed to just shut down and die. Now we keep the body alive WAY longer than it would naturally be alive and the brain begins to go. Perhaps we are supposed to die before we become insane. How horrid a death to die confused and scared. How noble a death to wonder off into the wilderness and experience your last rites as a shamanic journey, a vision quest, ones last initiation.
I will probably be touchign on this thanatology more often as time passes. So Perhpas I will publish the last paper I wrote in grad school. Yeah, I will do that in a jiffy.
NOTE: (this is not in off-line journal) It is interesting to me that I am working with such a sexually oriented yoga and energy with my Taoism, and dealing with the dying in my care taking. I need to do some work with Thanateros. Never have I experienced the two as one in quite this real a capacity.
AM
Nada
My wife just pointed out that today, the day that powerhouse power sports will be getting our letter of intent to sue, a huge horizon-to-horizon tropical storm is rolling in. Mwaaaa haa haaaa!
PM
Today was a full break from all magickal/yogic activity. Not that that is a good thing or that I needed it. Today was however my first day as a full time stay at home dad. Pretty intense. I thought that I would feel like a slacker but I felt quite the opposite. I don’t know that in all of my years of doing I have felt so accomplished at the end of the day. And I don’t feel like I did anything, but I did. This was a perfect wu-wei day.
Not that there weren’t some issues that came up, as always on Wednesday and Thursday. These are the days that my grandma doesn’t work. She seems to be agitated all day and tends to lash out at me in ultra-passive aggressive ways. I suppose because I present myself as an authority to my family they feel resentment toward me or think I am an ass hole. The reason I mention this is that it plays into my development of compassionate acceptance. I am stuck in the whirlwind of the yin and the yang. On the one hand I have blossoming life, my greatest joy. On the other hand I have withering life, and a great sadness. It is dizzying. It is also very difficult for me to remain centered a lot of the time.
These practices (CEPC and Sublimation) seem to have made me much more sensitive to psychic energy. I feel dizzied by fucked up energy. It feels almost like vertigo. When my grandma has dementia spells I can almost feel the lack of inhibition in her brain, it is like a firestorm of fucked up activity. It makes the hair on my neck stand up, sends shivers down my spine, makes me dizzy, the whole bit. I would do work to shield myself form this but I think that it may end up being a good thing. I feel like it may be good to have a sense, or to know, when this is going to take place. My wife actually began picking it up in this way before I did.
This whole thing is difficult for me because I love my grandmother. But, she is not who she was. She is at the point that without medicine and medical intervention she would be dying if not dead. This is where our social fear of death has perpetuated itself. Death is not supposed to be this great pain, this scary ass dementia filled disorientation. The body is supposed to just shut down and die. Now we keep the body alive WAY longer than it would naturally be alive and the brain begins to go. Perhaps we are supposed to die before we become insane. How horrid a death to die confused and scared. How noble a death to wonder off into the wilderness and experience your last rites as a shamanic journey, a vision quest, ones last initiation.
I will probably be touchign on this thanatology more often as time passes. So Perhpas I will publish the last paper I wrote in grad school. Yeah, I will do that in a jiffy.
NOTE: (this is not in off-line journal) It is interesting to me that I am working with such a sexually oriented yoga and energy with my Taoism, and dealing with the dying in my care taking. I need to do some work with Thanateros. Never have I experienced the two as one in quite this real a capacity.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
a jail bird free
8:20:2008
AM
CEPC, Meditation, stretching yoga
Nothing outside what has become ordinary occurred.
PM
Spent time with my wife before her first day of school. CB is out of prison and showed up at my house last night. It will be interesting to see how that turns out. Shit, I hope to fuck that he is not my blue bird! Nah, cant be.
AM
CEPC, Meditation, stretching yoga
Nothing outside what has become ordinary occurred.
PM
Spent time with my wife before her first day of school. CB is out of prison and showed up at my house last night. It will be interesting to see how that turns out. Shit, I hope to fuck that he is not my blue bird! Nah, cant be.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
slacker amnesia
08:19:2008
AM
CEPC
Meditated on my son’s playroom with him sitting playing in front of me. Felt a bit ill this morning. This could be due to several reasons. One of which may be exerting so much energy into war magick.
Notes: Speaking of which (war magick) it seems that I am beginning to get back some results. We were having a hard time finding a place in town that was not associated with the company I am in it with. Yesterday we found a shop and they ended up doing all of the work and wrote us a letter explaining what was wrong and that they had fixed it for free. This is a major step toward screwing these bastards into the ground.
PM
Amnesia. I need to be better about writing these entries on the day, rather than two days later.
AM
CEPC
Meditated on my son’s playroom with him sitting playing in front of me. Felt a bit ill this morning. This could be due to several reasons. One of which may be exerting so much energy into war magick.
Notes: Speaking of which (war magick) it seems that I am beginning to get back some results. We were having a hard time finding a place in town that was not associated with the company I am in it with. Yesterday we found a shop and they ended up doing all of the work and wrote us a letter explaining what was wrong and that they had fixed it for free. This is a major step toward screwing these bastards into the ground.
PM
Amnesia. I need to be better about writing these entries on the day, rather than two days later.
Monday, August 18, 2008
chi qong
08:18:2008
AM
Nada
No practice this morning. I have been running around getting everything in order for this lawsuit. I feel that in some ways I am still in the midst of magickal action. And in some ways I very much am, but no yoga this morning.
Reports: A few days ago I used Chi Qong on a Frater's Hernia. He showed it to me last night and it was noticeably smaller. He reported that it did feel better as well. Then I also performed Chi Qong on his back. He reported immediate sensations of heat in his back and his limbs (if I remember correctly) and a relief from back pain. This did come relatively quickly however. We were moving and he was pushing very hard. It is hard to know if the work I did lessened the pain he may have suffered if I had not done it. By the end of the night he was in pretty bad pain. I don’t count this as a success at all. I would actually like to continue doing this work to see if I can help him, and also to begin honing my use and projection of quick fire.
AM
Nada
No practice this morning. I have been running around getting everything in order for this lawsuit. I feel that in some ways I am still in the midst of magickal action. And in some ways I very much am, but no yoga this morning.
Reports: A few days ago I used Chi Qong on a Frater's Hernia. He showed it to me last night and it was noticeably smaller. He reported that it did feel better as well. Then I also performed Chi Qong on his back. He reported immediate sensations of heat in his back and his limbs (if I remember correctly) and a relief from back pain. This did come relatively quickly however. We were moving and he was pushing very hard. It is hard to know if the work I did lessened the pain he may have suffered if I had not done it. By the end of the night he was in pretty bad pain. I don’t count this as a success at all. I would actually like to continue doing this work to see if I can help him, and also to begin honing my use and projection of quick fire.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
War Magick
08:17:2008
AM
CEPC, yoga and meditation
Meditated with my boy for a while this morning. He sat in front of me for a bit holding my hands while I vibrated OM. Then he crawled into my lap and I wrapped my arms around him and formed a circle with my hands, so as not to close any gates while he was in my lap. Children are open and their chi is perfect. To close around him felt wrong.
PM
Open handed war magick.
I am beginning legal proceedings against powerhouse power sports for selling us a defective scooter and not honoring the warrantee. To jump-start it I took advantage of an opportunity.
Frater Idgaf was going to be doing some nasty work up in their old house and asked if anyone had anything to throw in. So I jumped on the offer and created a sigil. I gave the sigil to Frater Idgaf and tore the scrap words into tiny pieces. There was enough to form a small ball in the palm of my hand. I took the papers and held them in my right hand and clenched my fist hard. I held my fist tight until we passed by the place on our way home, at which time I cast the paper and chi at the building. Before I cast the paper I gathered gnosis from many sources. I surged on the planet Mercury, I surged on the werewolf, I surged on the rage and pushed all of this into my hand. My fist was clenched for well over 30 minutes, probably close to an hour. Before I cast this, my hand began to throb with pain and cramps. But I held fast using this as gnosis. Further, the paper began to feel as if it were a heart in my hand, beating. The beating of my own heart transferred from me to the paper in my hand. I felt an immediate release of the tension and anger that I had been holding since the incident.
I have no idea what Idgaf did with the sigil, but I am sure it was good. I will get a report from him later.
AM
CEPC, yoga and meditation
Meditated with my boy for a while this morning. He sat in front of me for a bit holding my hands while I vibrated OM. Then he crawled into my lap and I wrapped my arms around him and formed a circle with my hands, so as not to close any gates while he was in my lap. Children are open and their chi is perfect. To close around him felt wrong.
PM
Open handed war magick.
I am beginning legal proceedings against powerhouse power sports for selling us a defective scooter and not honoring the warrantee. To jump-start it I took advantage of an opportunity.
Frater Idgaf was going to be doing some nasty work up in their old house and asked if anyone had anything to throw in. So I jumped on the offer and created a sigil. I gave the sigil to Frater Idgaf and tore the scrap words into tiny pieces. There was enough to form a small ball in the palm of my hand. I took the papers and held them in my right hand and clenched my fist hard. I held my fist tight until we passed by the place on our way home, at which time I cast the paper and chi at the building. Before I cast the paper I gathered gnosis from many sources. I surged on the planet Mercury, I surged on the werewolf, I surged on the rage and pushed all of this into my hand. My fist was clenched for well over 30 minutes, probably close to an hour. Before I cast this, my hand began to throb with pain and cramps. But I held fast using this as gnosis. Further, the paper began to feel as if it were a heart in my hand, beating. The beating of my own heart transferred from me to the paper in my hand. I felt an immediate release of the tension and anger that I had been holding since the incident.
I have no idea what Idgaf did with the sigil, but I am sure it was good. I will get a report from him later.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
ejaculation rules!
8:16:2008:0600
CEPC
Orthodox Sublimation
Spent about 45 minutes this morning. I think I may be able to get a whole hour. The plan was that my wife and I would begin coordinating better so that I could get my morning meds in and she could get her exercise. She didn’t leave the house until a bit after seven. I think if I just get up a bit earlier I can pull an hour.
I think I know what the old text really meant now. I concentrated hard for the first ¾ of my sublimation meditation. But I didn’t need to. There came a point during when the generative force, the vital breath, ignited. I know, the names should have given it away. But knowing something and experiencing it are two different animals. It became as though I were blowing yang fire from my stove and that yin fire was a type of back draft. Once this began I was able to stop concentrating and let my mind go. The fires continued to burn without my assistance and they continued on the correct paths without my assistance. Now I should say for novice readers that this is not an excuse to just not worry about it. It is important with any practice of this nature that you concentrate with all of your mind/soul, single pointed focus. Only when the focus becomes automated can it be left to its own.
Another issue that needs attention in my Taoist yoga practices is that of ejaculate and conservation of the generative fluids. I think that I have mentioned previously that I have had prostate issues in the past and lack of ejaculation generally causes discomfort for me. Besides any of this I don’t find sexual suppression or repression to be all that helpful a practice. Understanding the vital force that resides in the ejaculate, perhaps it is not as important to not ever ejaculate, as it is to use the vital force before discharging the fluid. Much in the way we digest food before taking a piss or shit. So in sublimation we are taking the vital force from the fluid by pulling it into the stove and “digesting” it. This can then be used for whatever the magickian Wills.
Knowing this the xaotaoist magickian must be careful when and how he ejaculates. Never ejaculate before ritual. As a general rule do not ejaculate within 24 hours of ritual and 3-4 hours before meditation. In fact this sounds similar to many instructions concerning eating before meditation and fasting before ritual. It is very much the same if we continue the digestion metaphor. Save that eating before meditation takes chi for the digestion process and ejaculation just takes chi. However if we use this chi in a mass effort like ritual or deep meditation then we can eliminate the waste product of the body with little ill effect.
CEPC
Orthodox Sublimation
Spent about 45 minutes this morning. I think I may be able to get a whole hour. The plan was that my wife and I would begin coordinating better so that I could get my morning meds in and she could get her exercise. She didn’t leave the house until a bit after seven. I think if I just get up a bit earlier I can pull an hour.
I think I know what the old text really meant now. I concentrated hard for the first ¾ of my sublimation meditation. But I didn’t need to. There came a point during when the generative force, the vital breath, ignited. I know, the names should have given it away. But knowing something and experiencing it are two different animals. It became as though I were blowing yang fire from my stove and that yin fire was a type of back draft. Once this began I was able to stop concentrating and let my mind go. The fires continued to burn without my assistance and they continued on the correct paths without my assistance. Now I should say for novice readers that this is not an excuse to just not worry about it. It is important with any practice of this nature that you concentrate with all of your mind/soul, single pointed focus. Only when the focus becomes automated can it be left to its own.
Another issue that needs attention in my Taoist yoga practices is that of ejaculate and conservation of the generative fluids. I think that I have mentioned previously that I have had prostate issues in the past and lack of ejaculation generally causes discomfort for me. Besides any of this I don’t find sexual suppression or repression to be all that helpful a practice. Understanding the vital force that resides in the ejaculate, perhaps it is not as important to not ever ejaculate, as it is to use the vital force before discharging the fluid. Much in the way we digest food before taking a piss or shit. So in sublimation we are taking the vital force from the fluid by pulling it into the stove and “digesting” it. This can then be used for whatever the magickian Wills.
Knowing this the xaotaoist magickian must be careful when and how he ejaculates. Never ejaculate before ritual. As a general rule do not ejaculate within 24 hours of ritual and 3-4 hours before meditation. In fact this sounds similar to many instructions concerning eating before meditation and fasting before ritual. It is very much the same if we continue the digestion metaphor. Save that eating before meditation takes chi for the digestion process and ejaculation just takes chi. However if we use this chi in a mass effort like ritual or deep meditation then we can eliminate the waste product of the body with little ill effect.
Friday, August 15, 2008
orthodox sublimation
AM
Alcohol has a negative effect on my chi. You may laugh, and it may seem like a duh moment. I know I know. However I missed my morning CEPCs due to alcohol fatigue (hangover). I was not happy about this and plan on being much stricter with my consumption of alcohol. If this is to be used as a sacrament, which mind altering substances should be, it should be respected as such.
Sublimation (orthodox)
0) Press on the mortal cavity with your middle finger while breathing in and out gently to generate a gentle breeze. Pressing the middle finger to the mortal cavity primes the stove. The gentle breeze stokes the flames of the stove. In the way you cook a meal, not so hot as to scorch the bottom of the dish. Do this until the stove simmers (vibrates). When the stove simmers cover the pot by closing the four gates (the eyes, the roof of mouth, the hands and the legs) and begin the ascent and descent of the yin and yang fires.
Ascent of yang fire (tu mo)
1) Inhale. This pushes the VB down from the tan t’ien and out of the mortal gate (tzu) to rise up the spine. Eyes are looking down.
a. Tzu is also representative of the North, water and the generative force
2) Pause as you inhale at Mao (about the middle of your back) for cleansing. Eyes are looking right.
b. Mao also represents the East, wood and the incorporeal soul
3) Stop at Wu (at the top of the head) Eyes are looking up.
c. Wu also represents the South, fire, spirit, and breath
Descent of yin fire (jen mo)
4) Exhale. Allow the VB to fall naturally from wu down the front of the body
5) Pause at yu (between the navel and the heart) for purification. Eyes are looking left.
d. Yu also represents the West and metal
6) The generative force will follow the appropriate channels of its own; there is no need to force anything. It will fall and be drawn into the stove without effort.
PM
Attempted to contain vital fluids by pressing hard on the perineum or golden button or the mortal cavity or taint or whatever you wish to call it. I have done this before years ago and I remembered why I quit. It hurts, and I still only managed to retain about ½ of my fluid. I thought I felt it (the fluid) coming out so pressed harder, which sucked! Little point in having an orgasm anyway you can’t enjoy it. The thing is this, not to toot my own horn, (pun intended) I guess I am cuming with some pretty heavy force. I pressed hard and still only retained about ½ my usual load.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
fire breathing
8:14:2008
AM
CEPCs
Random intervals, very hectic morning.
PM
I practiced fire breathing with Frater Idgaf. This for me was not as much ritual as it was practicing a technique for future ritual. Frater idgaf did perform ritual. There is a beauty in fire breathing in that the technique causes a focus that is Gnostic in its intensity. If you are not focused you could quite possibly burn your face off, or inhale carcinogenic fuel, neither of which would be particularly pleasant.
Used traditional sublimation technique in the car on the way home. This to stave off the building need to ejaculate. It worked better than I had anticipated. I have not done my cycling sublimation for a minute and the drive to frivolously ejaculate generative fluids came back pretty strong. The traditional method (will post this later) worked, and worked well in a pinch.
AM
CEPCs
Random intervals, very hectic morning.
PM
I practiced fire breathing with Frater Idgaf. This for me was not as much ritual as it was practicing a technique for future ritual. Frater idgaf did perform ritual. There is a beauty in fire breathing in that the technique causes a focus that is Gnostic in its intensity. If you are not focused you could quite possibly burn your face off, or inhale carcinogenic fuel, neither of which would be particularly pleasant.
Used traditional sublimation technique in the car on the way home. This to stave off the building need to ejaculate. It worked better than I had anticipated. I have not done my cycling sublimation for a minute and the drive to frivolously ejaculate generative fluids came back pretty strong. The traditional method (will post this later) worked, and worked well in a pinch.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
lost day
I dont know what happened to this day. But I found it in my journal, where it has always been, where I didnt seem to see it when I was posting last. Well, here it is.
AM
CEPC
Meditation
I know I said I was not going to time these morning practices anymore. But the empirical mind, never mind what I said yesterday, got the better of me and I became exceedingly curious about how long this CEPC is actually taking. So I timed it. Five complete, well controlled, cycles takes about 10 minutes. This really surprised me.
I continued after this with another 20 minutes of meditation followed by some free-style yoga. I can’t believe I managed to get 30 minutes this morning! I have started going out onto the back porch for my morning practices. I find that this feels better. I also noticed that, very different from temple space meditations, outdoor meditation breed the sensation that I was quite small. That I am noting this probably gives me away. It has been WAY too long since I have meditated outside. There was that thunder magick I did last month (?) that was out in the backyard during a downpour and thunderstorm. That felt different though. For one it was at night and for two the energy was such that it left the body feeling bloated, not infinitesimal. I think it is the sunrise meditation. The sun really brings into relief the planetary presence, the macrocosmic.
Thought: No matter how long we practice, no matter at what level we are, we are forever students, forever babes to these systems. There are no levels, only points about a sphere. What am I trying to say here? I suppose it is that…hmmm…ahhh I know what it is. I am saying that elementary practices are not elementary! We are infants the practices are ancient! The spirit that runs through the simplest of these practices (to include MMM) is older than time, is the vital breath. If there were an egregore for them it would be the most ancient of the egregores. This egregore would be the Master. Ultimately, what am I saying? Do not neglect your MMM, do not neglect simplicity in your magick. I were to leave off all practices save one, it would be meditation. For within this one practice can be realized all other practices.
PM
Nada
AM
CEPC
Meditation
I know I said I was not going to time these morning practices anymore. But the empirical mind, never mind what I said yesterday, got the better of me and I became exceedingly curious about how long this CEPC is actually taking. So I timed it. Five complete, well controlled, cycles takes about 10 minutes. This really surprised me.
I continued after this with another 20 minutes of meditation followed by some free-style yoga. I can’t believe I managed to get 30 minutes this morning! I have started going out onto the back porch for my morning practices. I find that this feels better. I also noticed that, very different from temple space meditations, outdoor meditation breed the sensation that I was quite small. That I am noting this probably gives me away. It has been WAY too long since I have meditated outside. There was that thunder magick I did last month (?) that was out in the backyard during a downpour and thunderstorm. That felt different though. For one it was at night and for two the energy was such that it left the body feeling bloated, not infinitesimal. I think it is the sunrise meditation. The sun really brings into relief the planetary presence, the macrocosmic.
Thought: No matter how long we practice, no matter at what level we are, we are forever students, forever babes to these systems. There are no levels, only points about a sphere. What am I trying to say here? I suppose it is that…hmmm…ahhh I know what it is. I am saying that elementary practices are not elementary! We are infants the practices are ancient! The spirit that runs through the simplest of these practices (to include MMM) is older than time, is the vital breath. If there were an egregore for them it would be the most ancient of the egregores. This egregore would be the Master. Ultimately, what am I saying? Do not neglect your MMM, do not neglect simplicity in your magick. I were to leave off all practices save one, it would be meditation. For within this one practice can be realized all other practices.
PM
Nada
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
The Beer Ninja Rituals
AM
CEPC
While I was cleaning out our car this afternoon I found myself doing magick. Open handed as it was, I decided to go ahead and state my intent. The realization of the magick in performance came in a flash while I was cleaning the driver’s area. “I am not only cleaning my car but protecting us and it from harm.” When this thought occurred is when I realized I should go ahead and make it official, so I gave my intent. As soon as my intent out loud I accidentally hit the horn scaring the living shit out of myself; a perfect magickal performance. Not only was the intent pushed into my unconscious mind with fear gnosis it was facilitated by the honking of the horn, what one might expect if an accident were about to occur. This impromptu style (open handed) magickal activity is (in my humble opinion) the appropriate style for mundane daily needs. It is sympathetic magick and indicates a need for the magickian to control something that may otherwise be left to random chance.
The big question is if the magickian is strong enough does this type of magick need to be done? Can illuminatory magicks cover this realm of need? For instance, if I have been doing illuminatory work for years is my very presence strong enough to keep something like a car accident from happening. Theoretically yes. Then the magickian has to ask hirself if they trust this. I have not had an accident for many, many years. I can say that I haven’t had a serious car accident since I began to practice magick heavily. I could be a good defensive driver, or I could be a strong magickian, or a bit of both. Does it matter? Then the other paradoxical question arises. Did I do the magickal protection on the car because I am a good magickian and was suddenly directed by my own psychic foresight to do the magick because a part of me saw it coming? Now this, while not the most scientific of reasoning, is certainly the most fun. So the magickian should use magickal logic, not scientific logic. The two are different. Get ready I am about to shift gears.
The magickian cannot remain a magickian for very long if he/she begins to develop too keen a scientific mind. You will hear many magickians extol the virtues of scientific exploration of magick. I completely agree. However, science has limitations and is an extremely dogmatic paradigm. The magickian would do well to utilize scientific methods and thinking, but to keep in mind that “nothing is true”. Just because you can quantify it, does not make it true, just because it looks good in scientific notation or formula, does not mean that it is truer than it may be if it is written in Gaelic.
Okay I am needed, and will not be able to finish this thought process at the moment. Perhaps for later.
PM
Ritual. Frater Beenja (formerly Frater J) and I fortified his temple. We then went on to perform ritual after ritual. I cannot say how many rituals we performed. Most of the work involved impromptu dance style trance states. Some ritual evolved from the gnosis of the previous ritual. I will list the various intents as well as I can remember.
1) Securing of the temple space
2) Exploration of the temples energies, presence, past
3) Chi Qong style healing work
4) A curse/binding on an unruly individual
5) Divination of mercurial posture and mantra
Gnosis was excitatory and continued for hours. There is of course a lot more that could be said about these rituals. There are some sigils for the mercurial work. Perhaps I will try to formerly write some of that, but then it was more a gathering info for future ritual than anything else. And then the other work could not be duplicated any way.
CEPC
While I was cleaning out our car this afternoon I found myself doing magick. Open handed as it was, I decided to go ahead and state my intent. The realization of the magick in performance came in a flash while I was cleaning the driver’s area. “I am not only cleaning my car but protecting us and it from harm.” When this thought occurred is when I realized I should go ahead and make it official, so I gave my intent. As soon as my intent out loud I accidentally hit the horn scaring the living shit out of myself; a perfect magickal performance. Not only was the intent pushed into my unconscious mind with fear gnosis it was facilitated by the honking of the horn, what one might expect if an accident were about to occur. This impromptu style (open handed) magickal activity is (in my humble opinion) the appropriate style for mundane daily needs. It is sympathetic magick and indicates a need for the magickian to control something that may otherwise be left to random chance.
The big question is if the magickian is strong enough does this type of magick need to be done? Can illuminatory magicks cover this realm of need? For instance, if I have been doing illuminatory work for years is my very presence strong enough to keep something like a car accident from happening. Theoretically yes. Then the magickian has to ask hirself if they trust this. I have not had an accident for many, many years. I can say that I haven’t had a serious car accident since I began to practice magick heavily. I could be a good defensive driver, or I could be a strong magickian, or a bit of both. Does it matter? Then the other paradoxical question arises. Did I do the magickal protection on the car because I am a good magickian and was suddenly directed by my own psychic foresight to do the magick because a part of me saw it coming? Now this, while not the most scientific of reasoning, is certainly the most fun. So the magickian should use magickal logic, not scientific logic. The two are different. Get ready I am about to shift gears.
The magickian cannot remain a magickian for very long if he/she begins to develop too keen a scientific mind. You will hear many magickians extol the virtues of scientific exploration of magick. I completely agree. However, science has limitations and is an extremely dogmatic paradigm. The magickian would do well to utilize scientific methods and thinking, but to keep in mind that “nothing is true”. Just because you can quantify it, does not make it true, just because it looks good in scientific notation or formula, does not mean that it is truer than it may be if it is written in Gaelic.
Okay I am needed, and will not be able to finish this thought process at the moment. Perhaps for later.
PM
Ritual. Frater Beenja (formerly Frater J) and I fortified his temple. We then went on to perform ritual after ritual. I cannot say how many rituals we performed. Most of the work involved impromptu dance style trance states. Some ritual evolved from the gnosis of the previous ritual. I will list the various intents as well as I can remember.
1) Securing of the temple space
2) Exploration of the temples energies, presence, past
3) Chi Qong style healing work
4) A curse/binding on an unruly individual
5) Divination of mercurial posture and mantra
Gnosis was excitatory and continued for hours. There is of course a lot more that could be said about these rituals. There are some sigils for the mercurial work. Perhaps I will try to formerly write some of that, but then it was more a gathering info for future ritual than anything else. And then the other work could not be duplicated any way.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
give it up
AM
CEPC
I watch my baby boy and notice patterns. Just before he is about to begin perfecting a new skill he begins to eat and sleep significantly more. He will sleep harder and with less interruption and eat large amounts of food. He began to crawl this morning!
PM
Lit altar and gave up office/temple space to Frater XXX to fill out an XXX application.
CEPC
I watch my baby boy and notice patterns. Just before he is about to begin perfecting a new skill he begins to eat and sleep significantly more. He will sleep harder and with less interruption and eat large amounts of food. He began to crawl this morning!
PM
Lit altar and gave up office/temple space to Frater XXX to fill out an XXX application.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
MIA
Am I lost? Has space time swallowed me and digested my marrow? I dont know what happened. I could have sworn that I have journaled every day. Apparently I have not. This day is missing.
dis-semen-ation
AM
CEPC
With this practice, generally speaking I am going to discontinue giving the time and duration of the practice. This is for several reasons. Anyone who has had a child I am sure can relate to morning madness. Its not so much that there is not time, it is just that the time that I can gather is erratic and in bits and pieces throughout the morning. For instance this morning I performed CEPC on the toilet and then again during my Son’s play time. I don’t check the time and prepare and all that jazz for this practice. I just catch as catch can. Incidentally, CEPC is a pretty good method for aid in waste elimination.
CEPC
With this practice, generally speaking I am going to discontinue giving the time and duration of the practice. This is for several reasons. Anyone who has had a child I am sure can relate to morning madness. Its not so much that there is not time, it is just that the time that I can gather is erratic and in bits and pieces throughout the morning. For instance this morning I performed CEPC on the toilet and then again during my Son’s play time. I don’t check the time and prepare and all that jazz for this practice. I just catch as catch can. Incidentally, CEPC is a pretty good method for aid in waste elimination.
Sublimation
There are many methods for the intentional use of chi. Physical exercise like my cycling sublimation work is a good way to begin learning to burn the cauldron and direct chi into the various parts of the body for sublimation into ATP. Ecstatic gnosis during ritual is another excellent method combining magick and physical exertion. It is very much like tantra. When novices or the uninitiated hear the word tantra they think sex. Tantra as magi understand is much more than this, it is ritual and gnosis that often does not concern sex, but it does concern the use of sexual energies, just as Taoist yoga, in particular the act of sublimation.
Is work like the Talismanic Invocation of Mercurial Chi sublimation? Technically no, it is not. This would fall more under the class of chi generating exercises in which chi is gathered for later use. In this case the chi is not only gathered, but is gathered from a specific sphere containing specific qualities. In this way chi of a particular color of magick can be harnessed and stored then sublimated at a later time for specific intent. For instance, my first ritual invocation of mercurial chi is playing out in my writing of this blog and will eventually play a larger role in the writing of the Xaotao.
At first I had considered not doing ritual this evening because I had sex. I thought that this chi that I had been cultivating was lost through liquid form. I was right and wrong. The chi that I was cultivating for the past couple of days was Mercurial. The work I was going to do this evening, and now will be doing, is of a more Saturnalian/Plutonian bend. However I do believe that even after using the chi in liquid form for more pleasure based activity there are still residuals. Considering the different angels of this situation I would consider to be of Mercurial flavor.
I will need to leave this discussion for now. I have slipped into the 9th and need to get this ritual work completed.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Thursday, August 7, 2008
modified my stance
1015-undetermined
CEPC
Chi moved evenly this morning, with noted tingling, rather than burning in the palms of the hands and feet. I modified my stance a bit. Slight bending knees and holding hands palms up and in front with 90 degree bend in the elbows. I did straighten the arms with a slight bend at the elbows and palms facing out for the VB circulation through them. During the first cycle I did not and there felt to be a slowing, or slight blocking of the flow of energy. It flows better with relatively straight limbs with natural bend in joints.
0028
While watching a movie this evening I experienced and electrical surge that seems to expand outside of me and out into my neighborhood. I had to close my eyes for a moment during the heat of it. I was a bit dizzy after it subsided. I was left with the feeling that something good was afoot. I should also note that I have not experienced any TMJ symptoms for three days. I was having trouble with this, now it seems to have subsided.
0040-0145
Creation and use of a talisman for drawing in Mercurial chi.
See ritual at webpage; http://j.a.garcia.93.googlepages.com
CEPC
Chi moved evenly this morning, with noted tingling, rather than burning in the palms of the hands and feet. I modified my stance a bit. Slight bending knees and holding hands palms up and in front with 90 degree bend in the elbows. I did straighten the arms with a slight bend at the elbows and palms facing out for the VB circulation through them. During the first cycle I did not and there felt to be a slowing, or slight blocking of the flow of energy. It flows better with relatively straight limbs with natural bend in joints.
0028
While watching a movie this evening I experienced and electrical surge that seems to expand outside of me and out into my neighborhood. I had to close my eyes for a moment during the heat of it. I was a bit dizzy after it subsided. I was left with the feeling that something good was afoot. I should also note that I have not experienced any TMJ symptoms for three days. I was having trouble with this, now it seems to have subsided.
0040-0145
Creation and use of a talisman for drawing in Mercurial chi.
See ritual at webpage; http://j.a.garcia.93.googlepages.com
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
sublimation ride
0900
The morning was a blur. I did manage to get in some CEPC exercises in while my boy played on the rug. I have a feeling that when I take this job on 100% (full time Dad job) I will be doing a lot more exercises on the fly, outside of the temple room. Also in order to get anything done I am going to have to get massively organized. Did I say massively? I think I meant that I will need to cast a bit of OCD on myself.
1930-2100
The cycling turned out to be a phenomenal method for sublimation. During the first ½ of my ride I concentrated on the cycling of the breath. (I will draw a quick chart for this) The basic technique is to drive the energy into tu mo then down jen mo in the front and into the mortal cavity. It is then drawn up into the tan t’ien where it is held momentarily and heated to boiling point. This is then forced hard back to the mortal cavity where it is drawn back up into tu mo as quickly as possible and cycling back through the system. This is a pretty fast cycling as breathing gets heavier and harder with the bicycling. The pressure on the mortal cavity worked just as I had expected. The pressure seemed to not only block the energy from moving down further into the legs but seems to act as a spring board, bouncing the VB back up into the cycle.
I will try to spend some time in my next couple of posts discussing the concept of sublimation and how it seems to work.
The morning was a blur. I did manage to get in some CEPC exercises in while my boy played on the rug. I have a feeling that when I take this job on 100% (full time Dad job) I will be doing a lot more exercises on the fly, outside of the temple room. Also in order to get anything done I am going to have to get massively organized. Did I say massively? I think I meant that I will need to cast a bit of OCD on myself.
1930-2100
The cycling turned out to be a phenomenal method for sublimation. During the first ½ of my ride I concentrated on the cycling of the breath. (I will draw a quick chart for this) The basic technique is to drive the energy into tu mo then down jen mo in the front and into the mortal cavity. It is then drawn up into the tan t’ien where it is held momentarily and heated to boiling point. This is then forced hard back to the mortal cavity where it is drawn back up into tu mo as quickly as possible and cycling back through the system. This is a pretty fast cycling as breathing gets heavier and harder with the bicycling. The pressure on the mortal cavity worked just as I had expected. The pressure seemed to not only block the energy from moving down further into the legs but seems to act as a spring board, bouncing the VB back up into the cycle.
I will try to spend some time in my next couple of posts discussing the concept of sublimation and how it seems to work.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Cycling Sublimation
0758-0804
CEPC
Went cycling this evening from 2100-2300. I sublimated my VB while cycling for about 10 minutes. I found that my endurance is significantly greater than it was. My breathing is strong and deep and my muscles just kept going. It was a wonderful feeling and expulsion of this energy that has been building over the past few days. There is instruction that indicates that sublimation, while having some basic technique, is highly individual to the practitioner. I wonder if I can create a sublimation meditation through cycling. The physical aspect of it actually works out perfectly. There is a large amount of pressure on the mortal cavity, which could lend itself quite nicely to the task. Sublimation breathing cycle seems relatively straight forward, so far, so that should take little concentration. I should be able to easily concentrate on this while I ride. This will need to be done solo, or with Frater J who would dig the need for concentration during the ride.
I believe this may be a good technique for sublimation for several reasons. The first reasons cited above. The second reason being that I had been feeling a strong sexual charge. Not that I don’t relatively consistently have a charge, but the strength of the charge has been a bit more since I began this practice. It has been of a different quality. However, after cycling this energy was neutralized. This would be a significant indicator that the energy sublimated. I did cycle the breath a few times while riding last night. This may be the thing to do. I will ride again tonight and explore this.
CEPC
Went cycling this evening from 2100-2300. I sublimated my VB while cycling for about 10 minutes. I found that my endurance is significantly greater than it was. My breathing is strong and deep and my muscles just kept going. It was a wonderful feeling and expulsion of this energy that has been building over the past few days. There is instruction that indicates that sublimation, while having some basic technique, is highly individual to the practitioner. I wonder if I can create a sublimation meditation through cycling. The physical aspect of it actually works out perfectly. There is a large amount of pressure on the mortal cavity, which could lend itself quite nicely to the task. Sublimation breathing cycle seems relatively straight forward, so far, so that should take little concentration. I should be able to easily concentrate on this while I ride. This will need to be done solo, or with Frater J who would dig the need for concentration during the ride.
I believe this may be a good technique for sublimation for several reasons. The first reasons cited above. The second reason being that I had been feeling a strong sexual charge. Not that I don’t relatively consistently have a charge, but the strength of the charge has been a bit more since I began this practice. It has been of a different quality. However, after cycling this energy was neutralized. This would be a significant indicator that the energy sublimated. I did cycle the breath a few times while riding last night. This may be the thing to do. I will ride again tonight and explore this.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Casting the Asana Sigil
0820-0831
Standing circulated the energy with much more force. Gravity seems to affect the circulation. This may not be gravity as much as it is the standing form, no bends in the arms or legs and feet flat on the ground. This is particularly evident at the bubbling springs.
1327
Earlier this afternoon after mowing the grass the performed the CEPC spontaneously out in the yard. I did this in the standing position. I experienced an interesting, but not surprising effect. I had an instant energy surge that revitalized me. It is good to know that this technique can be used in this way to cultivate energy when needed.
2342-2352
Sublimation of the VB
This needs a lot more work. I performed this only after a quick read over the text. There is a lot of information that oi need to become more familiar with in order to feel that I am performing this properly. However, I can say that just utilizing what I gathered this evening and for the ten minutes that I meditated I had effect. To begin on the descent of fire when my VB reached my Tan T’ien M right pectoral muscle twitched as if an electrical current were being run through it. This only happened upon resting the VB in the tan t’ien and it happened every time for the duration of the meditation. I quit the meditation when I felt the tell tale vibration in the genitals. Not only this but by genitalia became hyper sensitive. Not to the point of erection but if I had continued this is the direction it was heading.
0028
Asana Sigil.
What comes shall come.
This method whether it works for manifesting will in the corporeal or not it is pretty intense from an acetic perspective. I assumed the posture then performed the CEPC. This done I force the VB to cycle through the tan t’ien and bubbling springs at the base of the feet cycle, rather than coming back up into the body mass. This caused shaking in the legs and burning in the feet. Continued to experience the current in my right pectoral during yin breath. This continued until the heat consumed my body and I began to sweat and the muscled in my arms twitched. The palms of my hands became so hot they felt to be on fire, itchy hot. Fire meets water in this method. Even though I have been relieved this evening I feel an odd sexual tension; odd because it is not a mental desire, but a physical drive in the genitals only. This may be manifest of the sublimation performed earlier. I ended when I was taken by a sensation that I blew away. My body dissipated, evaporated out and above what had become a cauldron at my feet. Fire and water combined to create air. 
Standing circulated the energy with much more force. Gravity seems to affect the circulation. This may not be gravity as much as it is the standing form, no bends in the arms or legs and feet flat on the ground. This is particularly evident at the bubbling springs.
1327
Earlier this afternoon after mowing the grass the performed the CEPC spontaneously out in the yard. I did this in the standing position. I experienced an interesting, but not surprising effect. I had an instant energy surge that revitalized me. It is good to know that this technique can be used in this way to cultivate energy when needed.
2342-2352
Sublimation of the VB
This needs a lot more work. I performed this only after a quick read over the text. There is a lot of information that oi need to become more familiar with in order to feel that I am performing this properly. However, I can say that just utilizing what I gathered this evening and for the ten minutes that I meditated I had effect. To begin on the descent of fire when my VB reached my Tan T’ien M right pectoral muscle twitched as if an electrical current were being run through it. This only happened upon resting the VB in the tan t’ien and it happened every time for the duration of the meditation. I quit the meditation when I felt the tell tale vibration in the genitals. Not only this but by genitalia became hyper sensitive. Not to the point of erection but if I had continued this is the direction it was heading.
0028
Asana Sigil.
What comes shall come.
This method whether it works for manifesting will in the corporeal or not it is pretty intense from an acetic perspective. I assumed the posture then performed the CEPC. This done I force the VB to cycle through the tan t’ien and bubbling springs at the base of the feet cycle, rather than coming back up into the body mass. This caused shaking in the legs and burning in the feet. Continued to experience the current in my right pectoral during yin breath. This continued until the heat consumed my body and I began to sweat and the muscled in my arms twitched. The palms of my hands became so hot they felt to be on fire, itchy hot. Fire meets water in this method. Even though I have been relieved this evening I feel an odd sexual tension; odd because it is not a mental desire, but a physical drive in the genitals only. This may be manifest of the sublimation performed earlier. I ended when I was taken by a sensation that I blew away. My body dissipated, evaporated out and above what had become a cauldron at my feet. Fire and water combined to create air.
asanic sigil idea
0105-0133
Began with CEPC then just meditated on the tip of my nose for a while allowing my thoughts to clear.
I fell asleep rather early this afternoon. I slept clear through to about 12:45 when my Son woke me up needing a diaper change. Needless to say after having nearly 5 hours of sleep I woke up relatively refreshed. This is the reason for the strange hour.
0655-0727
CEPC. I performed this in the closed channel posture as well as standing in an open tai chi posture. I only did the open tai chi posture for one cycle right at the end. I believe tomorrow mourning I will be using the standing posture for CEPC. The energy seemed to move much more easily and naturally. Compared to the sitting posture the vital breath (VB) seemed almost to move of its own. I was also able to feel the VB clearly. There was not the seeming need to push the VB through the channels as there was with the sitting posture.
Perhaps open in the am and closed in pm.
1537
While watching Secrets of the Serpent: In search of the sacred past (a documentary based on Philip Gardner’s theory)
I notice that as my son sits, holding up his body and learning his balance he wobbles, circular, like a serpent. The serpent rising, up the spine, gaining its center.
Asana sigils. These would be postures that take the form of sigils. Holding the posture during meditation until gnosis would activate the sigil.
Water and the hypnagogic state…Christ walking on water and the bubbling springs at the base of the feet.
If these two ideas can be combined, the practitioner, in standing asanic sigil, can activate the mixing bowl of the elixir of immortality, much like the tan t’ien cauldron. This will include the development of the asanic sigil for the blue bird, the CEPC, as well as the pushing of the gathered VB into the bubbling springs. This could be used to accelerate the bubbling springs to boiling point, at which time the self ignites into a burst of flame and the sigil (self) is cast.
Began with CEPC then just meditated on the tip of my nose for a while allowing my thoughts to clear.
I fell asleep rather early this afternoon. I slept clear through to about 12:45 when my Son woke me up needing a diaper change. Needless to say after having nearly 5 hours of sleep I woke up relatively refreshed. This is the reason for the strange hour.
0655-0727
CEPC. I performed this in the closed channel posture as well as standing in an open tai chi posture. I only did the open tai chi posture for one cycle right at the end. I believe tomorrow mourning I will be using the standing posture for CEPC. The energy seemed to move much more easily and naturally. Compared to the sitting posture the vital breath (VB) seemed almost to move of its own. I was also able to feel the VB clearly. There was not the seeming need to push the VB through the channels as there was with the sitting posture.
Perhaps open in the am and closed in pm.
1537
While watching Secrets of the Serpent: In search of the sacred past (a documentary based on Philip Gardner’s theory)
I notice that as my son sits, holding up his body and learning his balance he wobbles, circular, like a serpent. The serpent rising, up the spine, gaining its center.
Asana sigils. These would be postures that take the form of sigils. Holding the posture during meditation until gnosis would activate the sigil.
Water and the hypnagogic state…Christ walking on water and the bubbling springs at the base of the feet.
If these two ideas can be combined, the practitioner, in standing asanic sigil, can activate the mixing bowl of the elixir of immortality, much like the tan t’ien cauldron. This will include the development of the asanic sigil for the blue bird, the CEPC, as well as the pushing of the gathered VB into the bubbling springs. This could be used to accelerate the bubbling springs to boiling point, at which time the self ignites into a burst of flame and the sigil (self) is cast.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
blue bird
8:01:2008:0712-0720
Clearing the Eight Psychic Channels (CEPC)
I am leaning this technique so it took me a bit to get the vital breath cycling properly. I cycled 5 total times this morning. I know this is not much and my meditation only lasted 8 minutes. I am not so concerned at this point with duration of the morning meditation. Morning time is pretty busy with a 7 month old so I feel lucky I got that! I don’t feel shorted at all though, the energy moved strongly, I feel revitalized and more awake than usual. I am thinking that this meditation may be performed better standing in an opening tai chi position. I may try this later today or in the morning.
I am fasting today. I feel the need to clean my stomach and intestines a bit after my trip to Biloxi. My wife’s grandmother loves the casinos so we had to eat at the casino buffet. I was careful with my selections, very careful, however it is still casino buffet food, no matter how clean it looked. So the fast will consist of one cup of coffee, which I am having now, and two cups of vegetable broth.
I am going to have to come up with a different technique for the conservation of vital fluids. I had prostate problems some years ago and find that clearing the prostate is pretty important for my health and comfort. I wasn’t sure that this was true; I always suspected but was never quite sure. Yesterday my prostate began to hurt pretty badly; it had been at least 5 days since my last orgasm. There were other factors of course, gas, coffee bladder, bad food etc. But still it hurt and after peeing and farting I still needed relief. My wife obliged and nearly immediately I felt an alleviation of pressure. I plan to visit the Chinese herb shop today to see if there is anything I can take for this, or perhaps acupuncture. In the meantime the plan is to use the chalice. It would be simple enough to find a goddess or an immortal to do devotional work with. In combination with herbal supplements perhaps I may ease back into the total conservation but I will need to work on this for now.
Remember the blue bird.
Clearing the Eight Psychic Channels (CEPC)
I am leaning this technique so it took me a bit to get the vital breath cycling properly. I cycled 5 total times this morning. I know this is not much and my meditation only lasted 8 minutes. I am not so concerned at this point with duration of the morning meditation. Morning time is pretty busy with a 7 month old so I feel lucky I got that! I don’t feel shorted at all though, the energy moved strongly, I feel revitalized and more awake than usual. I am thinking that this meditation may be performed better standing in an opening tai chi position. I may try this later today or in the morning.
I am fasting today. I feel the need to clean my stomach and intestines a bit after my trip to Biloxi. My wife’s grandmother loves the casinos so we had to eat at the casino buffet. I was careful with my selections, very careful, however it is still casino buffet food, no matter how clean it looked. So the fast will consist of one cup of coffee, which I am having now, and two cups of vegetable broth.
I am going to have to come up with a different technique for the conservation of vital fluids. I had prostate problems some years ago and find that clearing the prostate is pretty important for my health and comfort. I wasn’t sure that this was true; I always suspected but was never quite sure. Yesterday my prostate began to hurt pretty badly; it had been at least 5 days since my last orgasm. There were other factors of course, gas, coffee bladder, bad food etc. But still it hurt and after peeing and farting I still needed relief. My wife obliged and nearly immediately I felt an alleviation of pressure. I plan to visit the Chinese herb shop today to see if there is anything I can take for this, or perhaps acupuncture. In the meantime the plan is to use the chalice. It would be simple enough to find a goddess or an immortal to do devotional work with. In combination with herbal supplements perhaps I may ease back into the total conservation but I will need to work on this for now.
Remember the blue bird.
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