demon work

I have been through some kind of a down phase, nothing bad, just not feeling the motivation. I have been focused very strongly however on the feminine aspect of my practice. My son is making cognitive leaps like a little psychonaught. He has even started spinning till he falls down from dizziness. He will then stare at the carpet designs until it wears off and do it again. The house is looking pretty tight. And I am feeling good about how things are going in that direction.

In ritual tonight I used Salvia Divinorum 60x to achieve gnosis. Considering that I was attempting to root out the demon of my addiction, namely nicotine, I feel I was successful. An obnoxious repetition marked my gnosis. There was a very physical component as well, and not surprisingly. It was as if I were rolling into my self, over and over again. The auditory experience was just as bad, with a whiny, pesky voice also repeating itself in time to my physical pulsing. I acquired the sigil and the name and had conversation with this pest of an entity. I should note that there was also a bit of anxiety involved. Again not surprising considering the nature of nicotine.
I will also note that using dissociative for specific intents is exceedingly difficult. Honestly in all my years of practice I think this is the first time I have attempted a very specific intent during a chemi-gnosis. Fighting through the urge to just go with the flow was difficult, but once achieved rendered a tunnel vision focus indescribable.

Hun Tun Med II

Focus on the vanishing point of the perceptual horizon of cognition.

Hun Tun Meditations

Began working on a Hun Tun meditation today. Not quite intentional at first but my reading now is heavy in the Hun Tun current and extracurricular reading is rather mystically oriented (i.e. unification of existence). Developed a sigil during meditation and focused on that for some time. I began to concentrate on empty space. This began with the empty space in the organs of my body. My lungs have empty space that make them useful for breathing, my heart is empty so that blood can fill it, my stomach is empty so that food can enter. This all hearkened to Chapter 11 of the Tao Te Ching. My body is empty. Then I felt that particle acceleration from the other night, which led me to concentrating on the empty space between the cells, particles and atoms of my body. Several very strong moments of gnosis occurred during this. This was an excellent meditation overall and one that I feel worth repeating for a while. So begins the Hun Tun meditations.

Moving Right Along

My meditations as of late have been interrupted by a painful sinus infection that has made it exceedingly painful to breath through my nose. In fact there is pretty much a constant pain but nose breathing stimulates the nerves in my left nostril causing the pain to increase. Needless to say this has not been the best condition under which to meditate.

In spite of this I did have an excellent meditation last night. Despite the short duration and pain I experienced a particle acceleration that seemed to dissolve my being out and into my surroundings. This gnosis was strong and left me enlivened the rest of the night.

I finally got around to interpreting the hexagram from my last talismanic sigil working. It is possible that this waiting period allowed for the hexagram to act on me subconsciously as I have been acting according to the divination, and now will assuredly continue to do so.

Yü / Enthusiasm

Devotion to my work will inspire enthusiasm for it. There must be a natural obedience to my own personal flow or movement. This is indicated in the placement of K’un (obedience) below and Chên (movement) above. There is a warning in the old yin in the 3rd place. I have a tendency to do too much upward social comparison. This is not good for me as rather than basking in reflected glory I tend to look down on myself. This line indicates this. Looking up too much is mal-productive. If I were to be climbing a mountain and looked up at the peak of the mountain too often and for too long eventually I would lose my footing and fall. I must watch my feet and be in the moment of this movement if I ever expect to find myself at the peak. There needs to be no hesitation, as this will bread remorse. So, moving right along…

Book Found

I found my book yesterday at 11:50am. (Exactly 10 days from ritual performance) This positive result is even more charged, as it was an act of replication. Replication of course adds external validity to the experiments, rituals, and servitors of others. It is of interest to think in terms of experimental science with this. Even more interesting for the moment is to think in terms of occult science. So if the servitor of Soror M has been given external validity does this strengthen the servitor? I should think it does. As with any work the more times something is replicated the more it begins to be seen as a credible theory and of course eventually law. External validity is a rare accomplishment in the occult sciences. I think I was just as excited about that as I was finding the book!

Peace in Xaos

My wife woke me up this morning by stimulating all my body parts, then put on my Tai Chi video and basically pulled my ass out of bed and to the TV. This is a DIRECT manifestation of several of the sigils that I cast last night on several different levels. So I did 45 minutes of tai chi this morning. My body felt much better all day, yet another result. Take'in it easier tonight. No serious work. R&R till the morrow.

Talisman sigil working

I've been taking things way too seriously!

good satan

recovery

slight of mind

Party and private ceremony.
Mindfold games
KC

NOX (Night Of Xaos)

Participated in several excellent rituals.
Performed Invocation of Sun Wukong.

Results varied from participant to participant. For my part what little consciousness I managed to hold on to during the invocation left me feeling like I was being violently dragged around like a rag doll. I felt light, excited and full of energy afterward. Several items were enchanted and a protective talisman for the house of our hosts was created. Some advice was disseminated and some divinations occurred. Admittedly my report of results from this ritual are weak. I should have gotten a questionnaire together for the participants to fill out afterward. A note for myself and future workings of this nature.

Book Lost

Disaster! I have lost my copy of Taoist Yoga. This has put a serious cramp in my studies and in the writing of my book. I was just getting ready to sit down and start seriously writing up the yoga section and my primary reference has up and disappeared. It has been several days now.

I have borrowed the servitor of a Soror. I performed the ritual this evening.

0. GPR
1. Lit single candle
2. SOI: “It is my will to offer these keys to [name of servitor] in trade for the return of my book Taoist Yoga.
3. Created sigil within a circle, placed keys in circle on top of sigil
4. Asked servitor out loud to take keys in trade for the return of my book
5. Chanted [name of servitor] for awhile then added “gimme back my stuff” ended up specifying, “gimme back my book”.
6. Chanted until gnosis was achieved.
7. Wrapped keys up in paper and hid it behind some stuff on a shelf.
8. GPR

During my chanting gnosis began to take on a pulsing rhythm. Interestingly the candle seemed to pick up its pulsing as my mantra and gnosis pulse increased in speed. This could have been due to my breathing toward the candle, though I thought it was rather light. It could also have been a trick of the eye induced by the gnosis. Regardless it aided me in my trance state. Each time the gnosis pulsed I shot the image of my lost book into the sigil. After awhile I let this fade into the imagery method described to me by the servitors creator.

Divination Concerning the Move to Carrollton, GA and UWG

I obtained two hexagrams during this divination. One for me (left) and one for my wife (right). What is good for one is not always good for two. I am thinking now that this divination may call for a third, combined, hexagram. Sometimes what is good for the two is good for the ones.

Method
0. Banished by GPR
1. Meditated on the move and creation of jiaguwen sigil script.
2. In light trance state used brush stroke techniques to paint sigils (see Figure 1).
3. Threw coins to ascertain the Hexagram.
4. Used 20-sided die to obtain numbers to be interpreted through my personal gematria.
5. Banished by GPR

Figure 1

Results

I will be using the Wilhelm/Baynes translation of the Book of Changes for this interpretation.

The hexagram obtained for my aspect of the move was Chên / the arousing (shock, thunder). I threw an old yang (9) at the beginning and an old yin (6) in the fifth place. This hexagram represents one of the eight repeating hexagrams. The trigram Chên is repeated. Here was see thunder repeated. “The first thunder denotes fear and trembling, the second denotes shaping and exploring.” (p. 649) There is no doubt how this plays into my concerns about this move. There is a lot of insecurity for both my wife and I. School does not exactly pay well and we have a child. However, the end result of this is that enduring the fear, enduring the initial shock of the move and perhaps enduring the fear of financial insecurity will pay off in the end.

THE JUDGMENT
Shock brings success.
Shock comes-oh, oh!
Laughing words-ha, ha!
He shock terrifies for a hundred miles,
And he does not let fall the sacrificial spoon and chalice.

(p. 647-648)

The judgment commentary also deals heavily with the idea of beginning again in the spring, cultivating respect by attention to detail and stirring ones qi from below. All of these ideas play well into the idea of finishing my education. Not only will this require an attention to detail but will also foster a respect that will bring professional success.

Nine at the beginning repeats the initial judgment adding, “…Fear brings good fortune. … Afterward one has a rule.” (p. 649) Six in the fifth place again indicates success. This time there is the indication that nothing will be lost. While there is still danger, going “hither and thither” invokes this. There is indication to keep still, hold to my center. The danger is indicated by the nuclear trigram K’an while Kên indicates averting the danger by keeping still. It seems to be indicated that this has already been achieved by my already being on this path.

The hexagram for my wife concerning this potential move is intimately tied to mine. She obtained Wu Wang / innocence (the unexpected). There is a very strong interplay and relationship between my Chên and her Wu Wang. To start the lower trigram of Wu Wang is Chên, the repeating trigram in the hexagram Chên. Further, one of the nuclear trigrams in Wu Wang is Kên. As previously mentioned Kên is also a nuclear trigram of Chên. In fact they are in the same position within each hexagram. This will be expounded upon later.

This hexagram is ruled by an old yang in the first place and an old yang in the fifth place. This divination resulted in an old yang in the fifth place and an old yin in the second place. To begin the ruling judgment indicates “…the essence of the Creative, as well as the tirelessness of the supremely sincere.” (p. 509)

Should misfortune come it is sure to have an external origin, thus it will come and go. It seems that this may be counseling patience. If misfortune presents itself success will come in allowing it to take its course, not forcing anything and not concerning oneself too much with it. This theme is again repeated again with the old yang (9) in the fifth place. This line indicates that the individual is free of internal illness and that any illness befalling has come from those around him or her. “One should not try an unknown medicine.” (p. 513) This line ties back to not forcing anything. Be still (Kên) and things will work themselves out.

The old yang (9) at the top in combination with the old yang in the fifth concerns me. Here we are given,

Innocent action brings misfortune.
Nothing furthers.
Action without reflection brings about the evil of
Bewilderment. (p. 513)

This is not a curse however, as we see the need for reflection. It seems that action itself will not bring misfortune but action without thought, reflection, perhaps planning in the case of this specific divination. In Wilhelm’s endnote on the hexagram he restates that the overall personality of this hexagram is that of innocent naïveté or being without ulterior motives. Nine at the top seems to indicate that the time for action has passed. I wonder if this is not referring to school in particular as my wife also toyed with the idea of schooling some more rather then working. This would confirm her leaning toward work. The end result of these line placement “indicate that for these lines the time has come to remain quiet.”

In sum, perhaps this is an indication that the ball has just bounced back into my court. There is no blame or fault in chilling out while the other acts. My personal interpretation is just that. I will be in a very active role finishing my degree. My wife will be in a more passive role, working. Active and passive here have been delineated by the original focus on school, which would be the primary reason for moving to Carrollton. I cannot further interpret my wife’s hexagram. I feel that she will have to take what I have thought and her own interpretation into consideration. My overall feeling however is that this will be a good move for me and not a terrible or bad move for my family. In the end, in the grand scheme, it seems favorable.

to be cont...

Divination ritual 12:00 – 1:00am

Too tired to expound upon these or do any major interpretation. This can wait for tomorrow. For now just to note I performed first a private divination and then a personal divination that required two hexagrams. More on that later.

freeform

Meditation 4:30 – 5:00pm

Meditation this afternoon was forced but ended well. Felt exhausted and a bit loopy, presumably due to my fasting. Meditation began with microcosmic orbit in traditional posture. This gave way to a more relaxed freeform meditation. Eyes forced inward and cultivated qi in my hands. Here was a moment when my body vibrated and I pushed this energy into the imagined ball that I held in my lap. My hands tingled with static sensation; there were moments of lightning presence. I drew this into my tan t’ien. Meditation ended abruptly and shockingly when my phone rang. It was almost painful.

Sanctuary

Well the first post of the year comes with a report of some results. Some time ago I performed a ritual with the group to acquire an abbey. Under the group working the intent was for a larger abbey, but there was the underlying desire/need for a personal space, a sanctuary within which to do my work in privacy and with little to no interruption. I have secured such a space. It had not occurred to me until the day before the New Year that my grandmother had a spare bedroom that was in disuse. I inquired and was given permission to arrange the room as a personal study. So far this has been an excellent space for me, quiet, roomy & private. I am free to do my meditations, quiet rituals, studies, writing and painting. It is undeniable that this is the acquisition of a personal abbey and a positive result of the working from the November NOX, Channeling CV17 Into Intent Flags. Good to start the year of with positive results!

Quiet and Salacious
Out the window my eyes go
Fence of wooden boards

The moon comes at night
There is everything in naught
Listen to silence