After some easy chair yoga and stretching I guide the individuals into a quiet meditative state by playing my Shakuhachi flute for 20 to 30 minutes. I do this twice a week. In my early classes one individual said "Its like you are saying a prayer for me." I was surprised and delighted by his intuition. As these classes have become more refined I have been slipping into gnosis a bit during the meditations. I have felt that I needed to be careful and pull back a bit as gnosis gets deeper. However, I have also noticed that as my gnosis gets deeper the class gets calmer. There is a static hum that radiates throughout the room.
Showing posts with label meditation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label meditation. Show all posts
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Shakuhachi
In the time that I haven't been blogging the work I did to aid me in my work with severely psychotic and dangerous individuals has continued to develop. I began teaching a class on meditation and yoga. The individuals have really taken to this and many of them seem to have gained allot from it.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
and where the fuck have you been?
Okay I really have no intention of answering that. I have been.
Ritual meditation this evening
Heavy smoke and rolls of pillar snow
Transfer, slight of mind, play of hand, relax
Placement is magick, manipulation of object one
Preparation for the move to object two
One in two and AAACHOO x 2
Kuei is out and playing games
7 die and a bird sings a song to the moon
63º and midnight
Yin is quicker than Yang
Ritual meditation this evening
Heavy smoke and rolls of pillar snow
Transfer, slight of mind, play of hand, relax
Placement is magick, manipulation of object one
Preparation for the move to object two
One in two and AAACHOO x 2
Kuei is out and playing games
7 die and a bird sings a song to the moon
63º and midnight
Yin is quicker than Yang
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Earth I
Earth
Talisman creation
Sigil casting
Meditation
Free flowing into this one. Did some inspiring synchronistic research on my name prior. Had some sigil work in mind that I wanted to do and this flowed well into the earth meditation of the evening. Don’t want to go too deeply into the talisman etc, need to maintain a distance from these things. However I did achieve an understanding of the eye rolling during meditation. This is not just an exercise but a system. As the eyes roll so does the cosmos. The eyes of course are yang, the only yang we have, and they orbit, allowing for a clearer vision of placement. This is a vantage point with which to see the macro-cosmos. Then the almost violent crossing of the eyes, the slamming of the eyes into the tan tien, brings it all rushing into the body, the macro becomes the micro. I stayed here not allowing for deeper gnosis. I stayed with earth, stuck to her allowed her smooth transitions and evolutions and seasons and rains and violence and warmth and decay and beauty to guide me. This moment was a euphoric gnosis that I have not felt in meditation in as long as I can remember. Tzu Jan, to be completely what one is, natural. To do exactly what one does, flow. To be… there were moments of feeling at one with fallen branches and limbs and stick laying on the forest floor, in piles, branches mingling in such a way with no form and no pattern but as to have each stick holding each other stick up off the ground. Earth is the function of chaos. Earth is the found art of the minds eye. We invariably are earth, we are in earth, we are of earth, we are grounded. And this too came to me, this grounding. All this work is grounded, all this work has foundation.
Talisman creation
Sigil casting
Meditation
Free flowing into this one. Did some inspiring synchronistic research on my name prior. Had some sigil work in mind that I wanted to do and this flowed well into the earth meditation of the evening. Don’t want to go too deeply into the talisman etc, need to maintain a distance from these things. However I did achieve an understanding of the eye rolling during meditation. This is not just an exercise but a system. As the eyes roll so does the cosmos. The eyes of course are yang, the only yang we have, and they orbit, allowing for a clearer vision of placement. This is a vantage point with which to see the macro-cosmos. Then the almost violent crossing of the eyes, the slamming of the eyes into the tan tien, brings it all rushing into the body, the macro becomes the micro. I stayed here not allowing for deeper gnosis. I stayed with earth, stuck to her allowed her smooth transitions and evolutions and seasons and rains and violence and warmth and decay and beauty to guide me. This moment was a euphoric gnosis that I have not felt in meditation in as long as I can remember. Tzu Jan, to be completely what one is, natural. To do exactly what one does, flow. To be… there were moments of feeling at one with fallen branches and limbs and stick laying on the forest floor, in piles, branches mingling in such a way with no form and no pattern but as to have each stick holding each other stick up off the ground. Earth is the function of chaos. Earth is the found art of the minds eye. We invariably are earth, we are in earth, we are of earth, we are grounded. And this too came to me, this grounding. All this work is grounded, all this work has foundation.
The Altar is nearly finished. I will post pics when it is completed. I felt compelled to put it in a very public place, my front yard. Front and center of my house. My cat killed a mole yesterday and left it on the porch, the day after the altar was erected so I put that on the altar. Kinda gross but it seemed appropriate. I will be setting it up so that me and the people that know about it and its purpose can pin prayers and sigils onto a flag behind.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Hun Tun Meditations
Began working on a Hun Tun meditation today. Not quite intentional at first but my reading now is heavy in the Hun Tun current and extracurricular reading is rather mystically oriented (i.e. unification of existence). Developed a sigil during meditation and focused on that for some time. I began to concentrate on empty space. This began with the empty space in the organs of my body. My lungs have empty space that make them useful for breathing, my heart is empty so that blood can fill it, my stomach is empty so that food can enter. This all hearkened to Chapter 11 of the Tao Te Ching. My body is empty. Then I felt that particle acceleration from the other night, which led me to concentrating on the empty space between the cells, particles and atoms of my body. Several very strong moments of gnosis occurred during this. This was an excellent meditation overall and one that I feel worth repeating for a while. So begins the Hun Tun meditations.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Moving Right Along
My meditations as of late have been interrupted by a painful sinus infection that has made it exceedingly painful to breath through my nose. In fact there is pretty much a constant pain but nose breathing stimulates the nerves in my left nostril causing the pain to increase. Needless to say this has not been the best condition under which to meditate.
In spite of this I did have an excellent meditation last night. Despite the short duration and pain I experienced a particle acceleration that seemed to dissolve my being out and into my surroundings. This gnosis was strong and left me enlivened the rest of the night.
I finally got around to interpreting the hexagram from my last talismanic sigil working. It is possible that this waiting period allowed for the hexagram to act on me subconsciously as I have been acting according to the divination, and now will assuredly continue to do so.
Yü / Enthusiasm
Devotion to my work will inspire enthusiasm for it. There must be a natural obedience to my own personal flow or movement. This is indicated in the placement of K’un (obedience) below and Chên (movement) above. There is a warning in the old yin in the 3rd place. I have a tendency to do too much upward social comparison. This is not good for me as rather than basking in reflected glory I tend to look down on myself. This line indicates this. Looking up too much is mal-productive. If I were to be climbing a mountain and looked up at the peak of the mountain too often and for too long eventually I would lose my footing and fall. I must watch my feet and be in the moment of this movement if I ever expect to find myself at the peak. There needs to be no hesitation, as this will bread remorse. So, moving right along…
In spite of this I did have an excellent meditation last night. Despite the short duration and pain I experienced a particle acceleration that seemed to dissolve my being out and into my surroundings. This gnosis was strong and left me enlivened the rest of the night.
I finally got around to interpreting the hexagram from my last talismanic sigil working. It is possible that this waiting period allowed for the hexagram to act on me subconsciously as I have been acting according to the divination, and now will assuredly continue to do so.
Yü / Enthusiasm
Devotion to my work will inspire enthusiasm for it. There must be a natural obedience to my own personal flow or movement. This is indicated in the placement of K’un (obedience) below and Chên (movement) above. There is a warning in the old yin in the 3rd place. I have a tendency to do too much upward social comparison. This is not good for me as rather than basking in reflected glory I tend to look down on myself. This line indicates this. Looking up too much is mal-productive. If I were to be climbing a mountain and looked up at the peak of the mountain too often and for too long eventually I would lose my footing and fall. I must watch my feet and be in the moment of this movement if I ever expect to find myself at the peak. There needs to be no hesitation, as this will bread remorse. So, moving right along…
Sunday, January 4, 2009
freeform
Meditation 4:30 – 5:00pm
Meditation this afternoon was forced but ended well. Felt exhausted and a bit loopy, presumably due to my fasting. Meditation began with microcosmic orbit in traditional posture. This gave way to a more relaxed freeform meditation. Eyes forced inward and cultivated qi in my hands. Here was a moment when my body vibrated and I pushed this energy into the imagined ball that I held in my lap. My hands tingled with static sensation; there were moments of lightning presence. I drew this into my tan t’ien. Meditation ended abruptly and shockingly when my phone rang. It was almost painful.
Meditation this afternoon was forced but ended well. Felt exhausted and a bit loopy, presumably due to my fasting. Meditation began with microcosmic orbit in traditional posture. This gave way to a more relaxed freeform meditation. Eyes forced inward and cultivated qi in my hands. Here was a moment when my body vibrated and I pushed this energy into the imagined ball that I held in my lap. My hands tingled with static sensation; there were moments of lightning presence. I drew this into my tan t’ien. Meditation ended abruptly and shockingly when my phone rang. It was almost painful.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
4/100
12:13:2008:1:20-1:45pm
4/100
Sunny and cold
Same practice with a bit more order. One full Microcosmic Cycle (MC) to five FFSP. So the formula used is 1MCà5FFSP. I was able to pull in on the SP for much longer today, there seemed to be more strength in the region.
Before meditating I did have an orgasm. I had this given back to me however and re-ingested it. I did feel the loss of energy for a bit but not near as badly as if the Jing had just been spit in the sink. My energy seems to be back to normal. It is impossible at this point to know, however, if this is due to the re-ingestion or if it is due to the yoga.
4/100
Sunny and cold
Same practice with a bit more order. One full Microcosmic Cycle (MC) to five FFSP. So the formula used is 1MCà5FFSP. I was able to pull in on the SP for much longer today, there seemed to be more strength in the region.
Before meditating I did have an orgasm. I had this given back to me however and re-ingested it. I did feel the loss of energy for a bit but not near as badly as if the Jing had just been spit in the sink. My energy seems to be back to normal. It is impossible at this point to know, however, if this is due to the re-ingestion or if it is due to the yoga.
Friday, December 12, 2008
3/100
12:12:2008:11:10-11:45am
3/100
Sunny cool day
Same practice. I practiced freezing fire and sacral pump activation (FFSP) 32 times consecutively. After this I rested and allowed the energy to move through me naturally. During this time I seemed to be viewing the clouds of creation in Orion’s belt. There was an absence of body for some time, no buzzing no aching in the back, nothing but a rhythmic breathing. I did notice the ticking of the clock as I came in and out of deep meditation. I mention this only because of the strange nature of this occurrence. At times the ticking would be quite fast and at other times it seems quite slow, and in the same at times it would seem far away and other times as if it were directly in my ear. I m going to leave off without mentioning what this may mean concerning the bodies expansion and contraction as well as the relativity of time as the practitioner moves in and out of deep gnosis.
After cycling the microcosmic orbit for a bit longer and FFSP I settled in to use the slow fires. Before I did this I decided to go ahead and swallow the elixir from the heavenly pool. I decided to consider the Xaobala and perhaps discern where in the body some of these planetary influences may be. I didn’t get very far. I didn’t realize the impact that finding the sun, the center of the Xaobala, at the Solar Plexus would have. Activating this region sent me off on a completely fresh Gnostic experience. At first the solar plexus filled my body with a light, a pulsing light. This had the physical sensation of the “electrical” feeling that I have mentioned previously but was different somehow. First, the electric sensation was that of light and second it was moving in discernable pulsing waves out of my solar plexus into the rest of my body and beyond the body boundary. I ended up expanding out into the solar system itself, the planets revolving around my mid section. I was reminded of a meditation of Crowley’s, an AA meditation I think. At any rate I realized that while the macrocosm and the microcosm are the same they are also distinctly different and that trying to find the similarity between the two, or the pure links between the two are the same as trying to name or classify the Tao itself. The connection is the Tao. This dissolved after some time, or I expanded out further past it and was floating thoughtlessly in nebulous clouds or something similar. I came back shortly after this and ended the meditation.
3/100
Sunny cool day
Same practice. I practiced freezing fire and sacral pump activation (FFSP) 32 times consecutively. After this I rested and allowed the energy to move through me naturally. During this time I seemed to be viewing the clouds of creation in Orion’s belt. There was an absence of body for some time, no buzzing no aching in the back, nothing but a rhythmic breathing. I did notice the ticking of the clock as I came in and out of deep meditation. I mention this only because of the strange nature of this occurrence. At times the ticking would be quite fast and at other times it seems quite slow, and in the same at times it would seem far away and other times as if it were directly in my ear. I m going to leave off without mentioning what this may mean concerning the bodies expansion and contraction as well as the relativity of time as the practitioner moves in and out of deep gnosis.
After cycling the microcosmic orbit for a bit longer and FFSP I settled in to use the slow fires. Before I did this I decided to go ahead and swallow the elixir from the heavenly pool. I decided to consider the Xaobala and perhaps discern where in the body some of these planetary influences may be. I didn’t get very far. I didn’t realize the impact that finding the sun, the center of the Xaobala, at the Solar Plexus would have. Activating this region sent me off on a completely fresh Gnostic experience. At first the solar plexus filled my body with a light, a pulsing light. This had the physical sensation of the “electrical” feeling that I have mentioned previously but was different somehow. First, the electric sensation was that of light and second it was moving in discernable pulsing waves out of my solar plexus into the rest of my body and beyond the body boundary. I ended up expanding out into the solar system itself, the planets revolving around my mid section. I was reminded of a meditation of Crowley’s, an AA meditation I think. At any rate I realized that while the macrocosm and the microcosm are the same they are also distinctly different and that trying to find the similarity between the two, or the pure links between the two are the same as trying to name or classify the Tao itself. The connection is the Tao. This dissolved after some time, or I expanded out further past it and was floating thoughtlessly in nebulous clouds or something similar. I came back shortly after this and ended the meditation.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
2/100
12:11:2008:10:45-11:20am
2/100
Cloudy, break in a huge storm covering the SE, not over yet
Same practice as yesterday. Nothing particularly interesting to note. There has been a pretty cramping obnoxious pain in my right lower back. I don’t think it is kidney due to the nature of the pain. I did send Jing directly from my stove to this region. I immediately saw a brilliant white gold light in my entire visual field. I did this again to no such effect.
During my cycling and Jing cultivation I thrusted Jing up and into tsu ch’iao. Shortly after this I leveled out for the slow fire. I experienced the familiar electric body. When this dissipated I broke posture. My left leg had gone numb, the worse meditation limb numbing I have had in quite some time.
2/100
Cloudy, break in a huge storm covering the SE, not over yet
Same practice as yesterday. Nothing particularly interesting to note. There has been a pretty cramping obnoxious pain in my right lower back. I don’t think it is kidney due to the nature of the pain. I did send Jing directly from my stove to this region. I immediately saw a brilliant white gold light in my entire visual field. I did this again to no such effect.
During my cycling and Jing cultivation I thrusted Jing up and into tsu ch’iao. Shortly after this I leveled out for the slow fire. I experienced the familiar electric body. When this dissipated I broke posture. My left leg had gone numb, the worse meditation limb numbing I have had in quite some time.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
1/100
12:10:2008:1100-1145
Day 1/100
Rain, Thunder, Lightening, (tornado watch till 2pm)
Today began a 100-day Taoist yoga monasticism. Naptime (my son’s) is the best time for this to happen. There seems to be no other time. Today worked well.
CEPC. At the end of each cycle I practiced Freezing the Fire and activating the Sacral Pump simultaneously. This combination of methods was quite intense. I experienced first an indigo light blazing before my eyes, which lightened as the meditation advanced. There was the feeling of being under black water (primordial lake?). From this water came a blue green scaly female demon thing that seduced me and caused me to get an erection. I immediately used this by cycling and activating the sacral pump with the freezing fire method, firmly trapping all of this Jing in my stove. The image dissipated and as I continued cycling the indigo light began to head toward a light gold. Note: I would not call this “The” Golden light, but I think it was heading that direction. When the light faded I was overwhelmed with an electrical charge that filled my body. After this feeling faded I used the Cooling Fires and ended the meditation.
7:00pm
I have had the shits for nearly 2 hours and allot of abdominal bloating. Having green tea rather than coffee this evening.
Day 1/100
Rain, Thunder, Lightening, (tornado watch till 2pm)
Today began a 100-day Taoist yoga monasticism. Naptime (my son’s) is the best time for this to happen. There seems to be no other time. Today worked well.
CEPC. At the end of each cycle I practiced Freezing the Fire and activating the Sacral Pump simultaneously. This combination of methods was quite intense. I experienced first an indigo light blazing before my eyes, which lightened as the meditation advanced. There was the feeling of being under black water (primordial lake?). From this water came a blue green scaly female demon thing that seduced me and caused me to get an erection. I immediately used this by cycling and activating the sacral pump with the freezing fire method, firmly trapping all of this Jing in my stove. The image dissipated and as I continued cycling the indigo light began to head toward a light gold. Note: I would not call this “The” Golden light, but I think it was heading that direction. When the light faded I was overwhelmed with an electrical charge that filled my body. After this feeling faded I used the Cooling Fires and ended the meditation.
7:00pm
I have had the shits for nearly 2 hours and allot of abdominal bloating. Having green tea rather than coffee this evening.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
The Dragon Copulates with the Tiger
10:30:2008
PM
GPR & Sublimation
Very intense sublimation mediation tonight. When my shit opened up it all opened up. I have learned to recognize it coming. When my mouth begins to fill with fluid its coming. Then my left eye fills and overflows. My sinuses opened up like last time, only much heavier this time. My nose began to full on run. My right eye opened this time and my right sinus so that my eyes and my nose were running profusely.
Vision: A hooded, half masked bust came at me from the incense cherry. It took on the form of a demon. It seemed menacing, and it seemed to question my right to be there. Where? I don’t know whatever mental state I was in at that moment in space and time. I was a bit tranced out. I must have slipped into a particular mind-field. So at any rate this annoyed me. In my mind I thought at it, “I am that I am, I am your Master.” With this it promptly dissipated back to wherever it came from. And I back into a relative no-mindedness.
When my mouth was full I swallowed the fluid into my Tan Tien. I closed my eyes and crossed them hard. This had a dizzying effect that seemed to hurl me backwards into myself. There was quite a lot of mental neuro-technics and then a very smooth calmness. There were a few moments of in and out no-mind Gnostic trance. The overall feeling was that of calmness. AHA! Fire into Water, the dragon copulating with the tiger! I will need to do some more research into this reaction.
PM
GPR & Sublimation
Very intense sublimation mediation tonight. When my shit opened up it all opened up. I have learned to recognize it coming. When my mouth begins to fill with fluid its coming. Then my left eye fills and overflows. My sinuses opened up like last time, only much heavier this time. My nose began to full on run. My right eye opened this time and my right sinus so that my eyes and my nose were running profusely.
Vision: A hooded, half masked bust came at me from the incense cherry. It took on the form of a demon. It seemed menacing, and it seemed to question my right to be there. Where? I don’t know whatever mental state I was in at that moment in space and time. I was a bit tranced out. I must have slipped into a particular mind-field. So at any rate this annoyed me. In my mind I thought at it, “I am that I am, I am your Master.” With this it promptly dissipated back to wherever it came from. And I back into a relative no-mindedness.
When my mouth was full I swallowed the fluid into my Tan Tien. I closed my eyes and crossed them hard. This had a dizzying effect that seemed to hurl me backwards into myself. There was quite a lot of mental neuro-technics and then a very smooth calmness. There were a few moments of in and out no-mind Gnostic trance. The overall feeling was that of calmness. AHA! Fire into Water, the dragon copulating with the tiger! I will need to do some more research into this reaction.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
sublimation
10:28:2008
PM
Sublimation. Closed channels.
This sublimation was a bit different. I felt that it was past due and it was. I was at the foot of a great white mountain. I crossed my eyes to look inward. This had a much more pronounced effect than I expected. I became a bit dizzy and disoriented. I was not sure if this was good for the sublimation process so I quit. As gnosis mounted I began to feel more at ease with the process. I was being coached to relax and not try so hard. The idea was to not try to force sublimation but to allow sublimation. There is no doing this. There is only created the mental and physical environment in which sublimation can take place, and then it will. I crossed my eyes again and concentrated myself inward. This time the dizzying buzz seemed to balance rather than disorient. I was humming now with an energy that was vibrating through the microcosmic orbit. And the left eye ducts opened. My mouth filled with fluid. My sinuses pulsed and seemed to swell. This was a new sensation. I feel a bit head coldy now. Strange. Perhaps the illness that I was pushing out of me was residual from the cold we have all had. Perhaps I need to do this a few nights in a row just to be sure I get it all.
PM
Sublimation. Closed channels.
This sublimation was a bit different. I felt that it was past due and it was. I was at the foot of a great white mountain. I crossed my eyes to look inward. This had a much more pronounced effect than I expected. I became a bit dizzy and disoriented. I was not sure if this was good for the sublimation process so I quit. As gnosis mounted I began to feel more at ease with the process. I was being coached to relax and not try so hard. The idea was to not try to force sublimation but to allow sublimation. There is no doing this. There is only created the mental and physical environment in which sublimation can take place, and then it will. I crossed my eyes again and concentrated myself inward. This time the dizzying buzz seemed to balance rather than disorient. I was humming now with an energy that was vibrating through the microcosmic orbit. And the left eye ducts opened. My mouth filled with fluid. My sinuses pulsed and seemed to swell. This was a new sensation. I feel a bit head coldy now. Strange. Perhaps the illness that I was pushing out of me was residual from the cold we have all had. Perhaps I need to do this a few nights in a row just to be sure I get it all.
Further note: I began to feel an ache in my testicles shortly after this meditation. I messaged the ducts and it seems to have helped a bit.
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