missing data

12:26:2008

The online and public magickal journal has a way of keeping one honest with oneself. For instance if this were to be a private, sealed, handwritten journal, as were my past journals, I would not explain my absence in so many words. I would also not feel quite as sharply the pains of having failed monasticism. This is good. Failing to meet ones personal obligation, promises to the self, should be painful. I do however have excuses & justifications! HA! So basically the past 2 weeks have been utterly filled with festivities of a magnificent sort, well one, namely my child’s first birthday. This was the joy. The not so joyous circumstances involved my wife having finals, which left me without a schedule and xmas. I have found that I am rather obsessive compulsive with schedules. If I do not have one, a strict one, then I tend not to produce. I have known this about myself. I am also an active procrastinator. This leaves me floundering when my self-imposed systems are shaken. I should work on some flexibility metamorphosis. But for now I should just do what needs to be done to produce, and right now that means creating an impromptu schedule from now till my wife goes back to school, then I will need to make a new schedule. You see how this could agitate one with OCD? Ah, it is as it is, and I am in process. So, the days have not been lost.

For the past 3 days I have been fasting. I did eat on X-Mass but not terribly much. I have been weaning myself anyway, using a liquid diet, vegetable and fruit juices with almond milk. I already feel differences, even after such a short duration. I have not properly fasted in years. My current practice is calling for this.

NOX

NOX 12:20:2008
Rituals were performed with relative professionalism. Frater Halcyon’s temple is an excellent venue. I want to do much more with the Hun-Tun ritual that I presented. Trance drumming is definitely the musical medium and the gnosis of the outer circle of participants. This ritual was more of an evocation/enchantment on an old fetish that anything else. We ritually cleansed the fetish of most old traces of sacrificial blood etc. There were some hard to clean spots. We used my son’s old toothbrush and plain old soapy water for this. Sitting around a short table covered in black cloth and a lit red candle, we each lit a stick of incense and spent some time scrubbing the old fetish clean. We then took our places with our drums and began drumming ecstatically. My instruction was that if you were not sweating then you were not doing it right. We chanted “hun-tun” allowing it to fade into glossolalia. Shortly after my stick broke rhythm began to slow down and the ritual concluded with laughter. I do not feel that the full extent of my ritual intent was achieved. This is by no fault of the participants as much as it may be the result of the residue left in the fetish itself.

Other rituals included the Spirit Detox ritual by Soror Sciurus and a protection ritual for Frater OAK’s son.

4/100

12:13:2008:1:20-1:45pm
4/100
Sunny and cold

Same practice with a bit more order. One full Microcosmic Cycle (MC) to five FFSP. So the formula used is 1MCà5FFSP. I was able to pull in on the SP for much longer today, there seemed to be more strength in the region.

Before meditating I did have an orgasm. I had this given back to me however and re-ingested it. I did feel the loss of energy for a bit but not near as badly as if the Jing had just been spit in the sink. My energy seems to be back to normal. It is impossible at this point to know, however, if this is due to the re-ingestion or if it is due to the yoga.

3/100

12:12:2008:11:10-11:45am
3/100
Sunny cool day

Same practice. I practiced freezing fire and sacral pump activation (FFSP) 32 times consecutively. After this I rested and allowed the energy to move through me naturally. During this time I seemed to be viewing the clouds of creation in Orion’s belt. There was an absence of body for some time, no buzzing no aching in the back, nothing but a rhythmic breathing. I did notice the ticking of the clock as I came in and out of deep meditation. I mention this only because of the strange nature of this occurrence. At times the ticking would be quite fast and at other times it seems quite slow, and in the same at times it would seem far away and other times as if it were directly in my ear. I m going to leave off without mentioning what this may mean concerning the bodies expansion and contraction as well as the relativity of time as the practitioner moves in and out of deep gnosis.

After cycling the microcosmic orbit for a bit longer and FFSP I settled in to use the slow fires. Before I did this I decided to go ahead and swallow the elixir from the heavenly pool. I decided to consider the Xaobala and perhaps discern where in the body some of these planetary influences may be. I didn’t get very far. I didn’t realize the impact that finding the sun, the center of the Xaobala, at the Solar Plexus would have. Activating this region sent me off on a completely fresh Gnostic experience. At first the solar plexus filled my body with a light, a pulsing light. This had the physical sensation of the “electrical” feeling that I have mentioned previously but was different somehow. First, the electric sensation was that of light and second it was moving in discernable pulsing waves out of my solar plexus into the rest of my body and beyond the body boundary. I ended up expanding out into the solar system itself, the planets revolving around my mid section. I was reminded of a meditation of Crowley’s, an AA meditation I think. At any rate I realized that while the macrocosm and the microcosm are the same they are also distinctly different and that trying to find the similarity between the two, or the pure links between the two are the same as trying to name or classify the Tao itself. The connection is the Tao. This dissolved after some time, or I expanded out further past it and was floating thoughtlessly in nebulous clouds or something similar. I came back shortly after this and ended the meditation.

2/100

12:11:2008:10:45-11:20am
2/100
Cloudy, break in a huge storm covering the SE, not over yet

Same practice as yesterday. Nothing particularly interesting to note. There has been a pretty cramping obnoxious pain in my right lower back. I don’t think it is kidney due to the nature of the pain. I did send Jing directly from my stove to this region. I immediately saw a brilliant white gold light in my entire visual field. I did this again to no such effect.

During my cycling and Jing cultivation I thrusted Jing up and into tsu ch’iao. Shortly after this I leveled out for the slow fire. I experienced the familiar electric body. When this dissipated I broke posture. My left leg had gone numb, the worse meditation limb numbing I have had in quite some time.

1/100

12:10:2008:1100-1145
Day 1/100
Rain, Thunder, Lightening, (tornado watch till 2pm)

Today began a 100-day Taoist yoga monasticism. Naptime (my son’s) is the best time for this to happen. There seems to be no other time. Today worked well.

CEPC. At the end of each cycle I practiced Freezing the Fire and activating the Sacral Pump simultaneously. This combination of methods was quite intense. I experienced first an indigo light blazing before my eyes, which lightened as the meditation advanced. There was the feeling of being under black water (primordial lake?). From this water came a blue green scaly female demon thing that seduced me and caused me to get an erection. I immediately used this by cycling and activating the sacral pump with the freezing fire method, firmly trapping all of this Jing in my stove. The image dissipated and as I continued cycling the indigo light began to head toward a light gold. Note: I would not call this “The” Golden light, but I think it was heading that direction. When the light faded I was overwhelmed with an electrical charge that filled my body. After this feeling faded I used the Cooling Fires and ended the meditation.

7:00pm
I have had the shits for nearly 2 hours and allot of abdominal bloating. Having green tea rather than coffee this evening.

Fire Cupping

12:04:2008
So it seems that any good Taoist should have a method of healing. This can be used on the self or on others. It can be a philanthropic past time or a medical practice. But the Taoist practitioner should practice a healing art of some kind. There are many healing arts within the Taoist paradigm, qi gung, acupuncture, herbalism, tui na, moxibustion, shiatzu massage, etc. The one that I seem to be drawn to and have begun to practice a bit is Fire Cupping. Fire Cupping seems to predate acupuncture and since acupunctures development has been used in combination with it. Fire Cupping has also been used with what is called a seven star hammer. The seven star hammer is a small hammer with seven needles that are used to irritate the skin on and around an acupuncture point, the fire cup is then placed on top of this. The fire cupping method involves the placement of heated or fired cups on the patients skin. As the heated glass cools or the fire extinguishes suction to the patients skin occurs. This suction pulls qi through the area loosening up any stagnation that may have developed in the region. Traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) indicates that qi will moves along certain lines on the body called meridians. There are points along these meridians at which the meridian may be best manipulated by acupuncture or acupressure (i.e. fire cupping). Fire cupping is less invasive and people are much more willing to give it a try and let a beginning practitioner work on them. I am considering acupuncture however and do have a couple of patients lined up for this.

So far my work with the cups has been of mixed review. This is not a far assessment however as I have really only recently begun to study the meridians and traditional points along those meridians. I have two patients with shoulder pain. One I worked on placing the cups where I “felt” they should go. This patient reported an instantaneous release from pain and an increased range of motion (ROM). This faded after 24 hours. Additional reports indicate that this patient has not complained about the shoulder in several days. An encouraging sign.

My second shoulder case was nearly identical. This time I followed traditional meridian lines as well as “feeling” them out. This was last night and the patient reports a more generalized pain, as apposed to pain in a specific area of the shoulder. He has also indicates increased ROM. The patient indicates that the overall problem with his shoulder is in fact better today. He has suffered a strange side effect however. I would no say strange as much as unexpected. There seems to be an intermittent aching in the elbow. The fact that it’s the elbow does not surprise me. Several points I cupped on him are affect this elbow as well. The fact that there is an aching may indicate a shift in the diagnosis and some changes in the way I work with this patient next time.

I have had success with a patient’s hip pain. I have not heard this patient complain or otherwise indicate that he needed to me to work on this area again. When he was at my house the other night he could barely walk. After the cupping there was an immediate relief of pain that seems to have continued to get better. This was after one cupping session.

My success with upper back and neck pain has not been quite as dramatic. But here is the deal. The patient that I have worked on and had great success with also does allot of meridian qi work. This individual is a daily practitioner so his upkeep of the meridians after they had been opened and cleared would be strong. Also I have only ever worked on a patient’s specific issue once. I have not yet performed a secondary session on any patient. I feel that this will be necessary for more stubborn cases. I do not believe that the cupping technique is a one-time fix.

(Oh yes, if any of my patients read this please feel free to comment candidly concerning your experiences and or current states)