The XaoTao of Frater Tzu Jan

The Hermetic Walk of Seven Monks

2011-07-02T09:10:00.009-04:00

Last night seven monks gathered at the Tzu Jan Temple in the foothills of the Appalachian mountains on the auspicious first night of the Saros 156 cycle. The partial solar eclipse on this day marked the beginning of a cycle of eclipses lasting 12 to 13 centuries. It is possible that the seven monks will continue on their journeys until July 14th, 3237; if not together then as independents. No one is for sure if they were immortals, rumor has it that they were.

The monks drank of consecrated wine. The spirits of several peoples were infused, to include the great oceanic squids, Godzilla and Thanateros. They had traveled from great distances to be with one another on this night and made merry within a sacred circle drawn by the seven. The monks drew five points of light and sound from within themselves and placed them at the four sacred corners of the world.

This done, the seven monks lit their lanterns and walked into the wilderness. A few townspeople saw them enter the wilds in the darkness of night. Such was the intensity of their focus and presence that none dared to stop and ask why these monks were leaving. The monks themselves kept the true nature of their purpose close to their hearts, with many intimations shared only with one another, but none speaking the true purpose aloud, even among themselves.

The chi was such on this night that the moment they were out of the artificial light and under the canopy of trees shaded even from starlight they were pulled headlong and with great speed into the sacred cool, damp, darkness of the wild.

One monk asked, "What are we to learn?"

Answer: "Enlightenment"

Monk: "Isn't enlightenment a rather selfish goal?"

Answer: "As your enlightenment increases so does that of the world"

Monk: "And what enlightenment exactly?"

Answer: "That of Nature"

Monk: "Internal nature or external?"

Answer: "Is there a difference?"

To be cont.

Dietary Monasticism II

2011-06-27T23:11:00.002-04:00

The whole world shifts in vibrant jiggling colors and kaleidoscopic vomit illuminations.

I have become an obsessive calorie counter. Yes yes, I know the quality of the food and all that counts more, but I am finding that the only way to keep that edge of hunger on me that is so beneficial to mental states a acuity, is to obsessively count the calories until they are low. I am trying to not go over 1480. This has caused me to desire higher quality food, as there is such a difference in digestion and the energy the food is eventually transformed into. Very much like putting crappy water downed gas in your car vs the good stuff. You may not notice going to the store, but over the long haul, you notice better stamina and longer performance. ;) and yes if you were thinking.... yes that too :).

I am getting used to this edge of hunger. I like it. Makes me feel alive.

dietary monasticism

2011-05-08T22:33:00.001-04:00

I am still in Qian. This trigram is very easy to move within, but very hard to move from. I would recommend if movement through the eight is more controlled that the practitioner save Qian for last. This is not a bad thing. It is simply that the lessons are a bit intense, as one would expect.

If I am to be Tzu Jan, there are several things that I must see to. First I must develop my diet to suit my body. I have severe GERD. I suffer from this on a daily basis and without medication it is intolerable. So it must be that my diet is not Tzu Jan for me. I must find that naturalness so that my body does not have conflict and turmoil. What is pain, but internal imbalance and conflict? Ugh, I am not looking forward to this potentially permanent monasticism. At least the outset of it.

Big Poplar Two Wand Eight Mile Ritual Walk

2011-04-25T16:58:00.001-04:00

Find an 7-8 mile circular trail
Obtain two wands

Either before or during the first mile of the walk
Select wands of relatively equal size and strength

Cary one wand in the left and and one in the right
Walk
When you come full circle break the wands while pointing the broken ends toward the chest
Dispose of the wand waste

Results from this ritual walk were strange and powerful. The macrocosm asks something of me, something pertaining to my own health as this relates to my personal strength and power. The resounding answer was “YES”.

At one point while playing with the clouds and wind the universe looked down on me and said “you really have no idea what your doing.” This struck me as simultaneously true and ridiculous. I felt a tingling surge of energy that manifested in a deep hearty laughter. I laughed aloud in the face of the universe.

The past snuck up on me and I found myself quite sad. I was instructed by time.

“Looking into the past with such longing and desire is the same as looking at your own organs in your hands. Just as your organs are part of you, so is the past. But we cannot bring the past back nor can we look upon the organs of our own body without disastrous result. One should be glad that the past is of us and has shaped who we are NOW, just as we should be glad that our organs are IN us and keeping us alive.”

And when I broke the sticks and at the point at which I injected the Chi (heart) there was a physiological surge, a quickening of heart rate and a tingling warmth that radiating our from my center.

Qian

2011-04-24T21:34:00.001-04:00

I didn’t realize until this evening that I was developing my own personal arrangement of the 8 primary gua. This arrangement coming not from my mind or contemplation but the random action of the gua themselves. As should all ritual use of the gua be, a manifestation of the practitioner who is using them, the circling of one individual soul. Further, there is movement toward a larger ritual working. It makes since that this would present itself to me with Qian, the perfect manifestation of creative energy.

*interesting note: Qian is one of the twelve tidal qua representing May.

*Baguazhang (eight trigram palm)

Commentary on Sexual Chi

2011-04-23T17:50:00.001-04:00

While sitting on the back porch and surveying my yard…

Sexual energy, when dissected from interpersonal and/or social mores IS synonymous with healing energy. At the very least can be used to the same effect.

It must be allowed to run free. It must have no restriction. When this is done; when sexual desire and direction is allowed to run its course, you, those around you and those you direct your energy toward will heal.

Often this involves allowing oneself to fully experience the intensity of fear, anxiety, jealousy and possessiveness. Doing this, the flow of chi permeates existence. As creation itself is an act of sexual motion. Creation itself is a manifestation of the union and consummation of all of existence.

It is the energy, not necessarily the ACT. We must not let the purity of this energy be confused with lust. Lust can be utilized to achieve the opposite result. But that is another topic.

Xun

2011-04-17T23:07:00.001-04:00

Jan Fries

Wind and Wood

Gentle penetration

Breath (chi perhaps)

Early summer

Master Alfred Huang

Sequence of the gua: “When the traveler has no place to take shelter, Proceeding Humbly follows.”

The wind blowing gently moves in and out of trees, rustles leaves, and cools the skin. It penetrates into the very soul of emotional response. Blow the candles on your altar out gently, lest you spray wax all over. In the same way the wind if too strong breaks branches, tears things up and chases people indoors. It is the same with wood. If one tries to thrust a sharpened pole into the ground it will only go so far. On the other hand, the gentle growth of a root can penetrate deep into the earth, even breaking through layers of rock.

Commentary on the decision: “…The firm proceeds humbly to the central position. Its will is able to be fulfilled.”

I had associated this previously with Orange magicks. Perhaps revisit in consideration of this new “…Central position…Will is…fulfilled” bit. Now, thinking Octarine. However humble and gentle aids in making friends, this influential aspect may be somewhat like a Taoist yellow or green. This does bode well with the Green. I am leaning in this direction, heavily now. Gentle penetration will ultimately aid tremendously in the acquisition of allies. The debate here for me is really between Octarine and Green.

Upon further examination and meditation I begin to realize the ones octarine hexagram must be chosen or discovered, just as the color octarine itself. This will of course shift all of the trigrams. I think that I and my readers are going to have to be happy with the disclaimer that this particular i-ching colors of magick layover is a personal interpretation and must be discovered individually. For instance Xun feels exceptionally Green to me. When thinking of my personal Octarine I can only see Gen, the Mountain, keeping still.

Thomas Cleary

Really starts off with this idea of Sun Green. He describes the traveler with no companions needing to harness the ability to acquire trust and develop familiarity relatively quickly in order to find shelter. This ability is a direct result of being adaptable. He also repeats this idea that it is beneficial to see great people, which I am just picking up on. Of course, should I be acting strongly in my influential personality traits, great and influential people would be a benefit to meet.

I will have to get back to the Wilhelm works.

Total after thought. I wonder if this Hun as any relation to the Hun in Hun Tun.

just added the chart above. these things may play out with little to now help from me. Good, lol.

On Occasion

2011-04-05T21:46:00.001-04:00

There is a name for the experience that befalls me now. I am assured by all synaptic firing that if I had known it I most certainly do not know it now. And this knowledge, this perfect flawless knowledge is correct. If I could adequately express the emotion of laughter, that laughter that pervades all things and expresses all things I would. But my language skills are lacking. formal education does not prepare one for Samadhic experience of daily living.

Why today, why now? Your guess is as good as mine. Perhaps exorcise and drink combined with a sense that I do good in the world on a daily basis (or at the very least try). I am vibrating now with the experience of my child running through the house. Not just aware of it, but experiencing it. I would almost expect to have these types of revelations should I be taking acid or otherwise be under the influence of ecstasy or some other illuminatory enhancing drug. But I am not.

Interesting that my first compulsion while experiencing this was to write, to become a vessel for transcription. Such is my lot I suppose.

I write now from a spontaneous moment of real life gnosis. No chemical induction, no ritually enhanced state of mind. just me, my experience of my family and the sublime experience of perfection. “I need my blue car” my son sais, reminding me of Jim Morrison's “blue bus”

Ahh, these things we are. and I with no new reading, no new methods, no new magickal revelation to bring to the table. Yet, I stumble into this brilliant light I call the illumination of my own personal existence, without the history, mythology, or myriad mystical kabalistic correlations.

I experience, play, laugh, tickle, am tickled, express awe at a vision I have had a thousand times, repeat repeat repeat, then vegetate on some show specifically designed to numb the thought process, and it does. and I ease into hypnotic sleep. Less dreamless that is has been.

Shakuhachi

2011-04-03T15:18:00.002-04:00

In the time that I haven't been blogging the work I did to aid me in my work with severely psychotic and dangerous individuals has continued to develop. I began teaching a class on meditation and yoga. The individuals have really taken to this and many of them seem to have gained allot from it.

After some easy chair yoga and stretching I guide the individuals into a quiet meditative state by playing my Shakuhachi flute for 20 to 30 minutes. I do this twice a week. In my early classes one individual said "Its like you are saying a prayer for me." I was surprised and delighted by his intuition. As these classes have become more refined I have been slipping into gnosis a bit during the meditations. I have felt that I needed to be careful and pull back a bit as gnosis gets deeper. However, I have also noticed that as my gnosis gets deeper the class gets calmer. There is a static hum that radiates throughout the room.

The Advent of Winter Solstice

2010-12-26T19:46:00.003-05:00

So I come upon myself a wash of detoxing chemicals and the scent of death. How should this be? I dedicate myself to the Sun, wash myself in the Light, anoint myself healer of the sick, and I fall headlong into the darkness. I dramatize of course, it’s not near as bad as all that.

With my recent planetary shift I knew that I would need to move my main altar to the East. I have traditionally kept my personal altar in the West. There is a Yin Yang principle at play in this. The Western Altar faces East and the Eastern Altar faces West. So now I find myself facing East. The Altar facing West, and the Western Wall of my Temple was empty. Like a black hole, it began to suck in all light, becoming plugged only by those things in my possession that were too dark to count for light, those things that were in fact of Death.

The Eastern Border of my Temple piled higher and higher. It has been many years since I have uncovered so many of my magickal items at one time. The Light shines on all things. And I open myself to the elements. The West, by contrast, reflects the Shadow cast by the Altar in the East. This shadow collapses in on itself.

There seems little need, ironically, for much discussion of the East and my new placement in the influence of Sol. Except to say that my prior work was exceedingly successful. However, this desire to heal others has turned on me. Apparently this ability is strongly knotted with the healing of one’s Self. It is indeed hard to pluck a splinter from your brothers eye when you have a log in your own. The strength of the Light when working from the Sun also tends to highlight one’s own personal flaws. If I may utilize redundancy with that last sentence to further illustrate my point!

Forgive me. I believe that the warmth of the slippers on my feet and the warmth of the wine in my belly are influencing my writing.

When you fully embrace the Solar magicks, not just utilize the Sun, but enter the Sun, and your work is the Light from the Sun, you yourself become darkness. If you project pure light, then what is left is darkness. That is not fully accurate. What is left is a darkness that is only dark due to the speed with which light moves through and out of it’s center. The core of the sun is pure darkness. Much in the way that the core of a black hole is in fact a Sun. The same as Yang holds the seed of Yin and the Yin holds the seed of Yang.

Now that I have moved past Pluto, through Mercury and am deeply embedded in the Sun, I find myself connected back to Pluto. Though only a countercharge, it has been an unexpected result. And this my Temple and my soul reflects.

Nonlocal Exorcism with Solar Influx

2010-12-04T21:41:00.003-05:00

To begin I feel I should both apologize to and applaud recent participants in my rituals. To explain, a large aspect of my recent rituals has been that of spontaneity. The Chinese word that I took my Frater name from, Tzu Jan, literally translates as spontaneity. I have used this as the basis for rituals in the past, but recently this has become almost the rule of rituals that I present. The method of presentation quite literally has been, "This is the intent of the work we will do, these are the symbols, mythologies, and often my own personal opinions and interpretations that we will be utilizing. Now, this is what might happen, this is what I may be doing. Knowing these things do what you feel like you need to do." So I have asked allot of participating magickans. I have asked for their ability to act in the best possible manner during rituals, without allot of guidance. I have asked that participants be magickians, not participants. And without exception one and all have risen to and exceeded expectation.

The following ritual was no exception and in many ways much more dangerous that what I have asked of magickians in the past.

Nonlocal Exorcism with Solar Influx

I work at a Psychiatric hospital with severely psychotic individuals. I have noticed over the past few months that there seems to be a particular energy or type of psychosis that afflicts older black women. I have been working with one particular individual who has been afflicted with a particularly vile concentration of this. I have been considering an exorcism ritual for quite sometime. Knowing that this is not a working that could be accomplished in one working, thus this was a layered working. Also the exorcism certainly could not be performed with the individual at the hospital, not by any of my personal methods at any rate. So it also had to be performed nonlocally.

I have done some much lighter versions of this with other individuals. When an individual gives me something (i.e. drawings, handwritten notes, pieces of trash, packets of spice, crayons etc.) I have placed them on my altar for a period of time, said daily prayers over them and then burned them. 2 of the 3 individuals that I have done this with have been discharged from the hospital and not returned. The severity of this case and a couple of others has upped the ante.

The day of the ritual the individual OM gave me two tootsie rolls. These I used as sacrament for those who were willing to partake. On that day as well, another individual asked that I pray for her. There was a heavy emotional charge during this day. Two women broke into tears and required immediate attention from myself and another co-worker. Later both of those women broke into spontaneous worship and revival style prayer.

The basic intent was to exorcise the demons of psychosis, enhance my personal ability to exorcise demons and heal by my presence and desire open-handedly also to move fully into the sphere of Sol in my astronomical macro-microcosmic work and to use this shift to enhance all of above stated intent.

The ritual:

Set up involved placement of a single candle, incense, a sigil, small altar and the cut tootsie rolls in the center of the room. Chanting took the form of glossolalia. Instruction involved my telling the participants that I would be drawing from solar powers, exorcising the demons described above and to chant and do what they felt necessary. There was a warning and informed consent concerning the nature of what we would be dealing with. Aside from this there was allot of discussion but little instruction.

Once the chanting had begun I handed out the sacrament to those willing. I then set to work clearing Mercury form my mirror and drawing in Sol. When I turned back to the circle I went into full chant and went straight to the hospital. There I performed all of the ritual acts that I have wanted to perform at work but have been unable to. I dealt very heavily with OM's exorcism but then, contrary to plan, ended up being flooded by others. So, very much like I do at work, I dealt with these "demons" as they came. In the end I centered myself on the unit that I was focusing on and allowed the solar energy to build within me until it exploded from me saturating the hospital and vaporizing this demon psychosis in its path.

I don't think I speak for myself when I say I was utterly exhausted after the ritual had been completed. Frater Usul wisely suggested another banishing be performed.

Following ritual work did tend to energize me and I have felt quite well since. Of course more will be known concerning results over the next few weeks at work.

Prior work by Frater Usul, dealing with the throat chakra and communication blended well with my personal work of the evening. Further result from this chakra work have manifested in interpersonal dealings not appropriate to put in this medium. However, suffice it to say that there have been positive results from this work.

sigil vid 1.wmv

2010-11-15T12:17:00.000-05:00

Yi

2010-08-18T22:15:00.001-04:00

Dealing with a few things. 1) Motion toward Solar work 2) Job 3) My place in the Tao.

So my decreasing draws to close. My time of loss and humility smoothly transition into the next phase. My cup is being filled. Thunder indicated firm resolution. Water from above sustains and fulfills, abundance of chi, thunder below. Wind above, outward flowing chi. Resolution to help aid and assist mankind.

King Wen’s decision; “favorable to have somewhere to go. Favorable to cross great rivers.” There is plenty of wind for my little wooden boat.

Relevant commentary:

“The joy of people is boundless; Increase of what is lower comes from what is above; It’s ways are greatly brightened. Favorable to somewhere to go because it is favorable and correct and therefore is blessed. Increase moves with gentleness and mildness, it proceeds daily without limit, heaven bestows and earth accepts, thereby things increase without restriction.”

“The Tao of increasing always proceeds in harmony with the time.”

“The superior person follows the good when he sees it and corrects his faults when he finds them.”

Initial 9: Favorable to engage in conducting great accomplishments. Supreme good fortune, no fault. Though the lower is not suitable to engage in great affaires. Increase alternates to watching.

Fifth nine: With sincerity and truthfulness , benefiting their hearts. No need to ask. Supreme good fortune, My virtue will be favored. No need to ask the reaction, this is what he really wants. Increase alternates to nourishing.

Personal interpretation:

Heading toward Solar work. It is a good time to make this journey form mercury to the sun. Build a wooden sail boat to navigate the path. Symbols for this path will be three magi riding a wooden sailboat through an ocean of stars.

My boss and supervisors are good and will provide me with what I need. My working for the welfare of the people will always bring good fortune.

My place in the Tao is represented by the cup. I am an open vessel being filled.

In my absence

2010-08-12T21:22:00.001-04:00

So much has occurred over the past few months during blogging inactivity I fear that to even try to recount any of it would miss the point entirely. Much of it has been of an intensely personal nature and thus not bloggable. If I remember correctly I mentioned that I was going to be stepping back from the blog for a minute.

Joined the Masons (swearing in on the Tao Te Ching) got job, moving from mercury into the sun.

This is just a breaking the ice… Coming back into my own.

2010-02-19T22:30:00.002-05:00

Xuan Wu

One of four creatures associated with the cardinal directions in Chinese mythological cosmology, the Xuanwu, (“dark warrior,” sometimes translated as “black warrior”) is a chimera-like hybrid animal with the head and tail of a snake and the body of a tortoise.

Unrelated to the twelve creatures of the Chinese zodiac, these four creatures each has its signature color, season, element, celestial quadrant, and other features: Green or Blue Dragon of the East (Qinglong: spring, water), Red Phoenix of the South (Zhuque: summer, fire), White Tiger of the West (Baihu: autumn, metal), and Dark Warrior of the North(Xuanwu: winter, earth). The fifth direction—that is, the center of the universe—in this cosmological map is China itself.

The origin of the cardinal-direction creatures is said to date back to the Warring States period (475–221 B.C.E.) and the Han dynasty (206 B.C.E.–220 C.E.).

------------------------------FROM--------http://www.my-island-penang.com/Xuan-Wu.html

Other Chinese legends also speak of how the "Tortoise General" and a "Snake General" came to be. During Xuánwǔ's study to achieve enlightenment and god status he was told that in order to fully achieve god status, he must purge all humanly flesh from his body. Since he was born he had been eating the food of the world, humanly food, therefore his stomach and intestines were still human. Legend told of an event that a god came and changed out his human stomach and intestines for a godly body so he could fully achieve god status. (It was also said that the stomach and intestines that were tossed out became the "Tortoise Mountain" and "Snake Mountain".) The stomach and intestines taken out by the god who did the surgery on Xuánwǔ were said to have taken on the shape of a tortoise (stomach) and a snake (intestines). As many Chinese legends speak of certain animals becoming demons over time as they gain knowledge, that's what the tortoise and snake became, and terrorized people. As Xuánwǔ, now in his god status, heard of this, he came and slayed the demons from his past. However, he did not kill them, as the snake and tortoise demons showed remorse. He let them train under him and atone for their wrong doings, and they became the "Tortoise General" and "Snake General", and they assisted Xuánwǔ with his quests.

According to another source, once Xuánwǔ's had begun study of the way, he discovered that he must purge himself of all his past sins to become a god. He learned to achieve this by washing his stomach and bowels (intestines) in the river. In the washing of his internal organs, his sins melted from them and into the river in a dark, black form. These then formed into a black tortoise and snake who terrorized the people. Once Xuánwǔ learned of this, he returned to conquer the forms of this past sins and subdue them under himself and they became his servants.

-----------------------------------------------------------FROM----http://wapedia.mobi/en/Black_Tortoise

2010-02-17T21:53:00.000-05:00

Xuan Wu. Mercury. The Black Warrior of the North.

Hermetic days

2010-01-17T23:48:00.003-05:00

For those keeping up this blog, sorry. I have been keeping much more personal notes in my handwritten journal as of late. Some things are not to be blogged, or made public in any form. Thus is the nature of the beast.

I will give you this. I picture of my current altar.

I have two things going on. There are heavy Mercury workings afoot.

But even heavier Immortality workings. You see I have been a heavy smoker for may many years. For most of those years I have been smoking non-filtered roll your own cigarettes. By many years I mean over half of the time I have been on this earth. A few years ago I got a serious case of pneumonia. Since then I developed chronic bronchitis. You would think I would quit. And I did several times for a few month long stints. I am now getting over another bad case of pneumonia. I have come to believe the smoking may not kill me but that it IS killing me. This I cannot tolerate. I am too young, my family too young and my great work too infantile!

I may post my Breaks from my last smoking ritual at a later date. Shit I gotta minute I will post them now.

I have done two ritual with this intent. One with Fratres ST and JD. Very powerful and very painful. I faltered few days alter of my own weakness. I reactivated the ritual by simulating the ritual to the best of my ability. The following is the journal entry from this last ritual. Which has held strong.

1:13:2010

Burned Heavily Dave Lee's Alchemy Aromatics Banishing Incense

Reactivation of the no smoking ritual. This time with aids. Lozenges, etc.

semi recreation of 1st. 1st didn't fail., it wained after some tough times, too tough, too much to go into during ritual writing. [I failed].

Sexually charged sigil, yellow candle, picture of my son, last cigarettes, lozenges, demon slaying sword, offering bowl ashtray, 3* mark, Pine MNT bottle, divination box.

1st cigarette

too much mars in life

Smoking ANY incense too often will kill you

especially Mars

Extinguish cigarette on sword.

_____

__ __

2nd cigarette

a 4th appears where there was 3

break the last one

no more pleasure in this act

only alleviation of another displeasure

How can I mentor

Or even consider myself a magi

If I cant kill my own tormenting demon

Especially if that demon is killing me!

This demon is too easy to pass on

TO loved ones, one's children in particular

You do NOT want your son to struggle with this

Extinguish cigarette on demon slaying sword

___ ___

_______

3rd cigarette

there is another, this should be the last but there is one left.

This IS the last 2 to break

Strange how tricky this demon is, to the point of manipulating

and distorting simple math!

I don't even like this anymore

Finish to affirm the distaste!

I can feel the sickness in this one.

Almost done. a bit of nausea

Cigarette extinguished on demon sword.

______ old

Hexagram:

_____ _____

___________

_____ _____

___________

Ritually broke 4th

Ritually broke 5th

Empty contents into bowl over Demon Slayer. Empty Box thrown to CWTZ

Finished water from Pine MNT bottle

Finish by IOA at main altar with wand

--ritual had its own plans

Burned rest of Sammael candle at both ends on top of sword

The whole thing caught fire

All tobacco burned and encased in yellow wax.

Hexagram of power over this demon. Mine i=s dead,m the problem is that is it such a rampant and fast breading demon an its offspring is innumerable.

Kan - cloud

Qian - heaven

the Tao of eating and drinking

Waiting on rain the Way the shaman waits patiently for rain during a drought. Needing the rain but waiting patiently until it comes of its own. I need to be over my addiction but must also wait patiently for it to leave of its own.

"If one has faith and remains steadfast, ones future will be bright."

Plutonian Ritual Acquistion

2009-09-21T23:42:00.006-04:00

This evenings evocation of Pluto was designed primarily to obtain information for the Right of Pluto.

Do to the upcoming event I will not publish too much of this.

The skeleton stag - extinction

inevitable end

stand glowing in a forest that has never known light

Pluto cannot be directly known

It is the antithesis of knowing

the naught

the Abyss, the HunTun

Pluto is our Xaos

Marionette praying to a flatulent god [break]

bring Pluto to center

Source of all darkness and fear

before death and life

Its nothing is deeper than our...

This is a bornless ritual. I am seeing that more clearly now than I think I wanted to admit. I also saw during my meditations a very strong connection between the HunTun mythology and Pluto. The abyss here is a vacuum, Pluto becomes a reflection not of our sun but of the black hole at the center of our galaxy. We are going way further out now than our solar system. Is Pluto a planet? It doesn't even matter at this point. It is a designated point of nothingness, the closest we have within our solar system to that moment before the big bang. If for no other reason than it is the furthest out our heliocentric planetary magicks go (for most).

The gua: Xiao Guo

Fly, but not beyond your grasp! This is our limit. Pluto. The furthest our consciousness can travel without being obliterated by pure void. the overreaching hand grabs only misfortune. While abysmal this is a pure force. This is Yin to the Suns Yang. Much more so than the moon. The moon being a counter charge. Pluto is THE yin. An excellent place to cast nearly any kind of magick from do to its contrary nature. The magickian becomes the counter charge of yang and stands grounded more solidly in yin. The magickian must be pure in their intent to cast from this place lest they reverse their potency. Death resulting. What is cast from Pluto is pure by its nature. Yin serves to strip intent of all but the purest arrows of Will.

Four Yin with two Yang. The magickian should carry two wands.

The opposite qua, that of the magickian entering Pluto is Zhong Fu / innermost sincerity.

Thats its for now. I need to review my past notes from this sphere.

[afterthought: the original monasticism failed miserably. I am however 10 days nicotine free. this has not come easy. I got the flu or some such illness and have been confined to the house on antibiotics. Needless to say my Will reserves were completely drained by my efforts to quit smoking and most every other use of it dissolved.]

Plutonian Monasticism (day I)

2009-09-10T23:35:00.004-04:00

IAO

plutos sigil blazes in the cardinal zones

burned Alchemy Aromatics Pluto Incense (available at www.tzujan.net)

stood erect and empty pulling, pulling magnetic

saffron and damar

pure yin to the yang of the Sun

crystal balls, translucent spheres, crystal skulls

black lodestone center.

reverse sigil extinquish all zones

"Ahhh! Woooh! What's happening? Who am I? Why am I here? What's my purpose in life? What do I mean by who am I? Okay okay, calm down calm down get a grip now. Ooh, this is an interesting sensation. What is it? Its a sort of tingling in my... well I suppose I better start finding names for things. Lets call it a... tail! Yeah! Tail! And hey, what's this roaring sound, whooshing past what I'm suddenly gonna call my head? Wind! Is that a good name? It'll do. Yeah, this is really exciting. I'm dizzy with anticipation! Or is it the wind? There's an awful lot of that now isn't it? And what's this thing coming toward me very fast? So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like 'Ow', 'Ownge', 'Round', 'Ground'! That's it! Ground! Ha! I wonder if it'll be friends with me? Hello Ground!

[dies] " The Whale

IAO

First day of monasticism. Nicotine withdrawal bad.

Ouranian Barbaric Word

2009-06-05T00:49:00.004-04:00

Opened temple

Burned Alchemy Aromatics Kyphi Incense

It is my Will to discover the Ouranian Barbaric word for PEACE.

Sigil cast for two nights prior. Sigil cast again outside temple prior to working.

Sigil drawn now.

Meditation, deep humming vibration, solve et coagula

Disruptive thought, bell rings, Om

Sad thought, bell rings, Om

Angry thought, bell rings, Om

Peace resounds in the sharp high tone of mind and the deep low rumble of guts

The Die is cast.

I am called outside to me duties. This is ritual now.

Calculation made

interpretation...

Personal relevance:

Heng-Long Lasting-Duration

Thunder above Wind Below

A heart is drawn beside the boat that carries the old married couple home

Stop and Be

The creek has a path. If you are in the creek it causes only misfortune to move against it.

Be defined by the situation.

"The way of long lasting is to let the situation determine one's changes and transformations."

-Master Huang

Monasticism Day VII

2009-05-25T00:26:00.002-04:00

It is My Will that confidence be instilled in my customer base

GPR banished by bedside

Clean sheets and clean skin milky stars

Passive to the point

Intensive pleasure cast headlong into the Tzu Jan Star

good night, good night, good night.

Dreams resist me. Running late for Ms graduation

Atlanta traffic kills us and wicked Inn keepers don't keep words

No room for half our party, three beds for 6

I am running late. Out the window.

Running fast, fast up and down stairs

Leaping high onto a grocer cart piled 3 stories high

I can get in to the window from here

White dress black tux a newly wedded couple sitting atop the junk with me

The cart swings and sways unstable, I cant get back in the window.

Waking up is fowl.

Monasticism Day VI

2009-05-24T23:54:00.002-04:00

It is my Will to rest complete in my sleep

Sleep fell upon me and pentagrams burned

At the four quarters of my bed

My head burned with darkness

My right hand burned with sadness

My feet burned with regret

My left hand burned with desire

I awoke with faint memory of dreamscape escaping

Fist to the face of foes, a jihad of consciousness

Upon waking an escape occurred and I rested

Banished and rested some more

Monasticism Day V

2009-05-21T23:59:00.002-04:00

It is My Will...

SLKNT is much more than at first inspected

SLKNT is evolution, adaptive mutation

Learn to conserve this

Learn to manipulate this

Draw what one is, out into the environment

Burn the proper wicks and smoldering sigils

Quit procrastinating and make making made!

Make sacrament of Coffee

Make instigation

Monasticism Day IV

2009-05-21T16:46:00.002-04:00

It is my Will to experience a little death

My death, the expulsion of Qi freely given

Midnight sex rights massage banishing

Dirty end

Blinding light

sleep, dark, dreamless, deadly sleep

4am and calm, 7am and calm

5pm and calm

There is nothing in this save illumination

There is nothing in me

I become the abyss and I represent

Notes from a Frater indicate a death I cannot see

In dream we wear the same pants

Two legs, one torso two chaospheres

And we shop in Asian markets for just the right size

Monasticism Day III

2009-05-19T23:59:00.005-04:00

It is my Will to walk through this darkness with calm resolve

as on level ground

to flow as water through a crevasse

K'an flows through smoke of water

The scent of lotus heavy in perception

The token gives passage and I am thrown into the depths

Frozen water surround, freezing water captures

As breathing slows to hypothermic the sigil is cast

And I wait

Blood of the moon reflecting impossible distances

The smoke rings Míngwángxīng

And I am given Sun

The water is low and the mountain is high

K'an is kept away and cultivation begins

I am to design two small bowls for sacrifice

Going with the time it is that I should decrease the firm and increase the yielding

"Thus the superior man controls his anger and restrains his instincts"

Six in the fifth supreme good fortune and ten tortoise shellsAfter ten changes it should be known

That evaporation from the lake rains down and nourishes the mountain

Restrain the self that others may prosper

Sexual Gnosis -->black ray

Monasticism Day II

2009-05-18T23:59:00.000-04:00

It is my Will to invoke the intelligences of Pluto

Míngwángxīng

Bell rings

Míngwángxīng

Bell rings

depths of distant screaming hells

hollowed halls and courts of judgment

It is my place here safely frozen quietly listening

Repenting silently in the tenth

A boat and a little blue bearded man gives coin

A bell and a skull of silver token

Myrrh burns solid and my will is done

Dreams: recorded elsewhere to maintain privacy.

NOX + Monasticism day I

2009-05-17T22:05:00.004-04:00

Last nights NOX rituals hit the spot for me. On many levels I felt very confident and excited about the direction that the Kalatchela is going. That aside everyone's rituals were awesome.

My ritual.

Taoist Death Metal and the Art of Demon warfare.

This ritual was quite simply an evocation of my personal demons into the willing magickians around me. This done an exorcistic battle ensued. Three total and very heavy exorcisms.

This ritual also marked for the the taking of the Lesser Observances of a Monk of Chaos for a period of at least one week, perhaps longer.

Monasticism day I:

1. Spent nearly 10 minutes looking for my staff which seemed to just vanish into thin air. Found it.

2. IAO banishing in the car on the way home from temple.

3. No dreams.

Link Break Curse Back

Listen to old crone groan and the sizzle of sigil scents

Demon portal bloodhound pack circles

Blood on the door wiped clean and thanks for the link

Burning boiling hell that is yours

You can keep it

Your own sadness, your own depression, your own feelings of inferiority, your own attempts to bolster your week little ego, your own controlling manipulative string of lies

You can keep it

smoldering fields were battles were won

Two taps of the cane forever echoing

2, 2, 2, 2 is ultimately 8 and we close

5. Two sexual gnosis dedicated to magick. One with partner one solo. The first was used to charge a RED chaosphere. The second began as a black chaosphere that hovered above my head then shot a ray of yellow into my chest. This caused me to involuntarily convulse for perhaps 20 seconds. the intensity of that casting was a bit unexpected, but good, very good.

and where the fuck have you been?

2009-05-12T23:59:00.002-04:00

Okay I really have no intention of answering that. I have been.

Ritual meditation this evening
Heavy smoke and rolls of pillar snow
Transfer, slight of mind, play of hand, relax
Placement is magick, manipulation of object one
Preparation for the move to object two
One in two and AAACHOO x 2
Kuei is out and playing games
7 die and a bird sings a song to the moon
63º and midnight
Yin is quicker than Yang

Protection

2009-04-10T22:12:00.003-04:00

Quick Cast

Protection sigil.

A huge storm came up on us this evening.

Banished by GPR

Stated intent

"It is my will that no harm will fall on this house or this family."

Created mind sigil

Cast sigil in all four directions

Cast sigil above my head

Cast sigil below my feet drawing with my right foot.

Impromptu mantra during drawing of sigil into aether.

Held finishing posture while forcing my will outwards and mostly upwards into the cell.

My body tingled with energy and I was drawn to tears. I could hear the storm subside as I held my posture. Before casting the news was saying to take cover. After casting the news was saying we were in the clear.

Anti-Freeze

2009-04-06T23:59:00.004-04:00

4:06:2009

I should be ashamed of myself considering my lack of upkeep on this blog. But I am not. Things are afoot and things are cook’in. And whom my dears is cooking for you?

To preface I should note that magick has been extremely prevalent of late. It will take some time to go back and update the situation, so I will not. April 2nd my grandmother has surgery. My Sister, Frater U and myself performed a simultaneous casting the night before (April 1st) for the success of the surgery. Our results were spot on. There are pics of this to post so I will add to this in a separate post-post at a later time. Before this there have been a series of Earth workings. Utilizing the Exploding Talisman Technique as well as general household earth magicks. This technique will need explanation as well, something I’ve been toying with for a minute. We have had a NOX since I last wrote; this is where I performed the Earth Exploding Talisman ritual. Prior to that my wife and I performed a Spring Equinox Rite with our Chickens first (and seemingly only of 3) egg of the season. This went exceedingly well and deserves much more than a preface, so I will post-post on that one as well, besides I have pics from that too. In fact I have pics from several of the larger workings I have performed over the last month of blog absence.

So what for tonight? Working with Frater JD we performed an Antifreeze ritual. We both have gardens started and do not wish to see them parish do to a “blueberry summer” (thanks Dave). So JD created the sigil and mantra and did some preliminary work with it. This evening we both worked in unison. I had copied the sigil and with my son (15 months) colored it and talismanized it.

I used this talisman with the mantra this evening while burning incense specially tuned to the element fire. I pulled warmth up form the equator. I burned from within until the energy exploded form me and out in all directions blowing the cold away. Then I saw JD sitting in front of me in his study. Our incense burning, I put my hands out palm out to meet his. Palms together we chanted and created a ball of heat between us that gre to massive proportions and warmed the soil, air and continued to pull warm air currents up to our region.

Earth Deity Found

2009-02-27T11:55:00.003-05:00

Ritual to find a strong Earth Deity and give it its first mission
Ritual performed with Frater J at his ‘Dirty Foot’ Temple.

1. Opened by impromptu calling of the corners and placement of elemental weapons
(Impromptu calling of the corners involves a light invocation of the element and a freestyle verbal calling)
2. At the Earth quadrant statement of intents were spoken allowed and sigilized
3. Seated at temple center “NOBO” was chanted, incense was lit and Salvia cigarettes smoked
4. Visionary results obtained
5. Sigil burned

Results:

Name: Salakunt
Image: The image was that of an evolving snake/salamander. End result was a larger salamander with glistening grayish green and red scales, large black hood like that of a king cobra, and huge antlers with a neon glowing from within as if they were made of electricity rather than bone.

The image was at first of an upright glowing triangle that took some concentration to turn upside down. With this done this slimy birth-grey beady eyed snake/worm came gushing out. This quickly evolved into a proper snake with brilliant scales. This crawled up and into me wrapping around my spine and crushing itself into my structure. Its head filled my head and then the antlers came shooting out of my head and into the heavens. The hood spread itself out behind me. Arms sprouted into my own and legs followed.

Secondary intent was [private].

Earth I

2009-02-11T10:54:00.003-05:00

Earth
Talisman creation
Sigil casting
Meditation

Free flowing into this one. Did some inspiring synchronistic research on my name prior. Had some sigil work in mind that I wanted to do and this flowed well into the earth meditation of the evening. Don’t want to go too deeply into the talisman etc, need to maintain a distance from these things. However I did achieve an understanding of the eye rolling during meditation. This is not just an exercise but a system. As the eyes roll so does the cosmos. The eyes of course are yang, the only yang we have, and they orbit, allowing for a clearer vision of placement. This is a vantage point with which to see the macro-cosmos. Then the almost violent crossing of the eyes, the slamming of the eyes into the tan tien, brings it all rushing into the body, the macro becomes the micro. I stayed here not allowing for deeper gnosis. I stayed with earth, stuck to her allowed her smooth transitions and evolutions and seasons and rains and violence and warmth and decay and beauty to guide me. This moment was a euphoric gnosis that I have not felt in meditation in as long as I can remember. Tzu Jan, to be completely what one is, natural. To do exactly what one does, flow. To be… there were moments of feeling at one with fallen branches and limbs and stick laying on the forest floor, in piles, branches mingling in such a way with no form and no pattern but as to have each stick holding each other stick up off the ground. Earth is the function of chaos. Earth is the found art of the minds eye. We invariably are earth, we are in earth, we are of earth, we are grounded. And this too came to me, this grounding. All this work is grounded, all this work has foundation.

The Altar is nearly finished. I will post pics when it is completed. I felt compelled to put it in a very public place, my front yard. Front and center of my house. My cat killed a mole yesterday and left it on the porch, the day after the altar was erected so I put that on the altar. Kinda gross but it seemed appropriate. I will be setting it up so that me and the people that know about it and its purpose can pin prayers and sigils onto a flag behind.

misc.

2009-02-09T10:50:00.002-05:00

I have performed several rituals that have not been recorded. This is to my downfall. I don’t want to go into a lot of excess detail right now but should at some point write the mercury talisman invocation and sigil casting. I obtained results from this ritual in a relatively short period of time. Unfortunately I was not specific enough with my intent and ended up with something I did not quite mean. To give a brief, I cast with the intent of finishing the Xaotao book before I left for my doctoral program. The result so far has been a decision not to pursue that particular program for various reasons. These reasons are necessary and good, but this overrode the more implicit idea that I should have this book written in one year. Now, this is not to say that the intent may still not be achieved. It may come about that the relief itself from the pressure to get it done before a big move and shift in my life will be a good thing. We shall see how this plays out.

I have tightened up on my diet again. Not that I got totally off track, but I was eating too much dairy, and too much in general. On February 7th I fasted all day and then on the 8th ate a bowl of steel cut oats. I found that after 24 hours of fasting I begin to get a bit light headed and while this would ordinarily be an okay state for me I cannot completely fast and feel comfortable in my ability to care for my son at my highest capacity. My eating has become lighter and of grains, nuts, fruits and cooked veggies. I am staying away from processed foods, no veggie burgers etc. I have also cut back significantly on my smoking, which had picked up again at an alarming rate. This is in direct response to the ritual I performed to obtain a name for my addiction demon. This name has been used to great affect to curb the desire to smoke when inappropriate. This is most of the time these days.

Beginning preparations for devotional work dealing specifically with the earth goddess energy. I do not at present have the internet in my study which has slowed me down a bit. Sometimes in dealing with specific practical matters in Taoist shamanism it is frustrating as most of the information that is available in my personal library concerns yoga and philosophical Taoism rather than any practical magicks. Jan Fries has some useful information in a relatively practical format, but still he deals more with meditation than magick itself.

So my beginning preparations included building two new raised garden boxes in my yard, constructing an altar of wood and concrete on my front lawn and cleaning/organizing my study, cleaning my brushes and establishing an altar space dedicated to this specific purpose.

I am feeling like much of this is the manifestation of some “organization” sigil work I have done in the past month. I will have to check my intent bank to verify that. At any rate, taking the Xaobala system as a map of microcosm will guide me in my spiraling in meditations. In this the Xaobala is a map that was developed from observations of the solar system and quantum physics. This is superimposed on the inner self. As without so within. So beginning at earth and studying, working with, invoking, enchanting, manipulated etc the energies at each planetary sphere an order is developed whereby solid work can be achieved. I feel like I have been skipping around, trying this, tasting that, and generally dabbling. It is time to get some depth. And so it shall be.

demon work

2009-01-29T22:18:00.002-05:00

I have been through some kind of a down phase, nothing bad, just not feeling the motivation. I have been focused very strongly however on the feminine aspect of my practice. My son is making cognitive leaps like a little psychonaught. He has even started spinning till he falls down from dizziness. He will then stare at the carpet designs until it wears off and do it again. The house is looking pretty tight. And I am feeling good about how things are going in that direction.

In ritual tonight I used Salvia Divinorum 60x to achieve gnosis. Considering that I was attempting to root out the demon of my addiction, namely nicotine, I feel I was successful. An obnoxious repetition marked my gnosis. There was a very physical component as well, and not surprisingly. It was as if I were rolling into my self, over and over again. The auditory experience was just as bad, with a whiny, pesky voice also repeating itself in time to my physical pulsing. I acquired the sigil and the name and had conversation with this pest of an entity. I should note that there was also a bit of anxiety involved. Again not surprising considering the nature of nicotine.
I will also note that using dissociative for specific intents is exceedingly difficult. Honestly in all my years of practice I think this is the first time I have attempted a very specific intent during a chemi-gnosis. Fighting through the urge to just go with the flow was difficult, but once achieved rendered a tunnel vision focus indescribable.

Hun Tun Med II

2009-01-22T22:16:00.000-05:00

Focus on the vanishing point of the perceptual horizon of cognition.

Hun Tun Meditations

2009-01-21T21:45:00.002-05:00

Began working on a Hun Tun meditation today. Not quite intentional at first but my reading now is heavy in the Hun Tun current and extracurricular reading is rather mystically oriented (i.e. unification of existence). Developed a sigil during meditation and focused on that for some time. I began to concentrate on empty space. This began with the empty space in the organs of my body. My lungs have empty space that make them useful for breathing, my heart is empty so that blood can fill it, my stomach is empty so that food can enter. This all hearkened to Chapter 11 of the Tao Te Ching. My body is empty. Then I felt that particle acceleration from the other night, which led me to concentrating on the empty space between the cells, particles and atoms of my body. Several very strong moments of gnosis occurred during this. This was an excellent meditation overall and one that I feel worth repeating for a while. So begins the Hun Tun meditations.

Moving Right Along

2009-01-20T21:24:00.001-05:00

My meditations as of late have been interrupted by a painful sinus infection that has made it exceedingly painful to breath through my nose. In fact there is pretty much a constant pain but nose breathing stimulates the nerves in my left nostril causing the pain to increase. Needless to say this has not been the best condition under which to meditate.

In spite of this I did have an excellent meditation last night. Despite the short duration and pain I experienced a particle acceleration that seemed to dissolve my being out and into my surroundings. This gnosis was strong and left me enlivened the rest of the night.

I finally got around to interpreting the hexagram from my last talismanic sigil working. It is possible that this waiting period allowed for the hexagram to act on me subconsciously as I have been acting according to the divination, and now will assuredly continue to do so.

Yü / Enthusiasm

Devotion to my work will inspire enthusiasm for it. There must be a natural obedience to my own personal flow or movement. This is indicated in the placement of K’un (obedience) below and Chên (movement) above. There is a warning in the old yin in the 3rd place. I have a tendency to do too much upward social comparison. This is not good for me as rather than basking in reflected glory I tend to look down on myself. This line indicates this. Looking up too much is mal-productive. If I were to be climbing a mountain and looked up at the peak of the mountain too often and for too long eventually I would lose my footing and fall. I must watch my feet and be in the moment of this movement if I ever expect to find myself at the peak. There needs to be no hesitation, as this will bread remorse. So, moving right along…

Book Found

2009-01-18T18:46:00.000-05:00

I found my book yesterday at 11:50am. (Exactly 10 days from ritual performance) This positive result is even more charged, as it was an act of replication. Replication of course adds external validity to the experiments, rituals, and servitors of others. It is of interest to think in terms of experimental science with this. Even more interesting for the moment is to think in terms of occult science. So if the servitor of Soror M has been given external validity does this strengthen the servitor? I should think it does. As with any work the more times something is replicated the more it begins to be seen as a credible theory and of course eventually law. External validity is a rare accomplishment in the occult sciences. I think I was just as excited about that as I was finding the book!

Peace in Xaos

2009-01-14T22:01:00.003-05:00

My wife woke me up this morning by stimulating all my body parts, then put on my Tai Chi video and basically pulled my ass out of bed and to the TV. This is a DIRECT manifestation of several of the sigils that I cast last night on several different levels. So I did 45 minutes of tai chi this morning. My body felt much better all day, yet another result. Take'in it easier tonight. No serious work. R&R till the morrow.

Talisman sigil working

2009-01-13T00:36:00.004-05:00

I've been taking things way too seriously!

good satan

2009-01-12T22:08:00.000-05:00

recovery

slight of mind

2009-01-11T22:06:00.001-05:00

Party and private ceremony.
Mindfold games
KC

NOX (Night Of Xaos)

2009-01-10T00:34:00.005-05:00

Participated in several excellent rituals.
Performed Invocation of Sun Wukong.

Results varied from participant to participant. For my part what little consciousness I managed to hold on to during the invocation left me feeling like I was being violently dragged around like a rag doll. I felt light, excited and full of energy afterward. Several items were enchanted and a protective talisman for the house of our hosts was created. Some advice was disseminated and some divinations occurred. Admittedly my report of results from this ritual are weak. I should have gotten a questionnaire together for the participants to fill out afterward. A note for myself and future workings of this nature.

Book Lost

2009-01-07T00:07:00.002-05:00

Disaster! I have lost my copy of Taoist Yoga. This has put a serious cramp in my studies and in the writing of my book. I was just getting ready to sit down and start seriously writing up the yoga section and my primary reference has up and disappeared. It has been several days now.

I have borrowed the servitor of a Soror. I performed the ritual this evening.

0. GPR
1. Lit single candle
2. SOI: “It is my will to offer these keys to [name of servitor] in trade for the return of my book Taoist Yoga.
3. Created sigil within a circle, placed keys in circle on top of sigil
4. Asked servitor out loud to take keys in trade for the return of my book
5. Chanted [name of servitor] for awhile then added “gimme back my stuff” ended up specifying, “gimme back my book”.
6. Chanted until gnosis was achieved.
7. Wrapped keys up in paper and hid it behind some stuff on a shelf.
8. GPR

During my chanting gnosis began to take on a pulsing rhythm. Interestingly the candle seemed to pick up its pulsing as my mantra and gnosis pulse increased in speed. This could have been due to my breathing toward the candle, though I thought it was rather light. It could also have been a trick of the eye induced by the gnosis. Regardless it aided me in my trance state. Each time the gnosis pulsed I shot the image of my lost book into the sigil. After awhile I let this fade into the imagery method described to me by the servitors creator.

Divination Concerning the Move to Carrollton, GA and UWG

2009-01-06T15:08:00.008-05:00

I obtained two hexagrams during this divination. One for me (left) and one for my wife (right). What is good for one is not always good for two. I am thinking now that this divination may call for a third, combined, hexagram. Sometimes what is good for the two is good for the ones.

Method
0. Banished by GPR
1. Meditated on the move and creation of jiaguwen sigil script.
2. In light trance state used brush stroke techniques to paint sigils (see Figure 1).
3. Threw coins to ascertain the Hexagram.
4. Used 20-sided die to obtain numbers to be interpreted through my personal gematria.
5. Banished by GPR

Figure 1

Results

I will be using the Wilhelm/Baynes translation of the Book of Changes for this interpretation.

The hexagram obtained for my aspect of the move was Chên / the arousing (shock, thunder). I threw an old yang (9) at the beginning and an old yin (6) in the fifth place. This hexagram represents one of the eight repeating hexagrams. The trigram Chên is repeated. Here was see thunder repeated. “The first thunder denotes fear and trembling, the second denotes shaping and exploring.” (p. 649) There is no doubt how this plays into my concerns about this move. There is a lot of insecurity for both my wife and I. School does not exactly pay well and we have a child. However, the end result of this is that enduring the fear, enduring the initial shock of the move and perhaps enduring the fear of financial insecurity will pay off in the end.

THE JUDGMENT
Shock brings success.
Shock comes-oh, oh!
Laughing words-ha, ha!
He shock terrifies for a hundred miles,
And he does not let fall the sacrificial spoon and chalice.

(p. 647-648)

The judgment commentary also deals heavily with the idea of beginning again in the spring, cultivating respect by attention to detail and stirring ones qi from below. All of these ideas play well into the idea of finishing my education. Not only will this require an attention to detail but will also foster a respect that will bring professional success.

Nine at the beginning repeats the initial judgment adding, “…Fear brings good fortune. … Afterward one has a rule.” (p. 649) Six in the fifth place again indicates success. This time there is the indication that nothing will be lost. While there is still danger, going “hither and thither” invokes this. There is indication to keep still, hold to my center. The danger is indicated by the nuclear trigram K’an while Kên indicates averting the danger by keeping still. It seems to be indicated that this has already been achieved by my already being on this path.

The hexagram for my wife concerning this potential move is intimately tied to mine. She obtained Wu Wang / innocence (the unexpected). There is a very strong interplay and relationship between my Chên and her Wu Wang. To start the lower trigram of Wu Wang is Chên, the repeating trigram in the hexagram Chên. Further, one of the nuclear trigrams in Wu Wang is Kên. As previously mentioned Kên is also a nuclear trigram of Chên. In fact they are in the same position within each hexagram. This will be expounded upon later.

This hexagram is ruled by an old yang in the first place and an old yang in the fifth place. This divination resulted in an old yang in the fifth place and an old yin in the second place. To begin the ruling judgment indicates “…the essence of the Creative, as well as the tirelessness of the supremely sincere.” (p. 509)

Should misfortune come it is sure to have an external origin, thus it will come and go. It seems that this may be counseling patience. If misfortune presents itself success will come in allowing it to take its course, not forcing anything and not concerning oneself too much with it. This theme is again repeated again with the old yang (9) in the fifth place. This line indicates that the individual is free of internal illness and that any illness befalling has come from those around him or her. “One should not try an unknown medicine.” (p. 513) This line ties back to not forcing anything. Be still (Kên) and things will work themselves out.

The old yang (9) at the top in combination with the old yang in the fifth concerns me. Here we are given,

Innocent action brings misfortune.
Nothing furthers.
Action without reflection brings about the evil of
Bewilderment. (p. 513)

This is not a curse however, as we see the need for reflection. It seems that action itself will not bring misfortune but action without thought, reflection, perhaps planning in the case of this specific divination. In Wilhelm’s endnote on the hexagram he restates that the overall personality of this hexagram is that of innocent naïveté or being without ulterior motives. Nine at the top seems to indicate that the time for action has passed. I wonder if this is not referring to school in particular as my wife also toyed with the idea of schooling some more rather then working. This would confirm her leaning toward work. The end result of these line placement “indicate that for these lines the time has come to remain quiet.”

In sum, perhaps this is an indication that the ball has just bounced back into my court. There is no blame or fault in chilling out while the other acts. My personal interpretation is just that. I will be in a very active role finishing my degree. My wife will be in a more passive role, working. Active and passive here have been delineated by the original focus on school, which would be the primary reason for moving to Carrollton. I cannot further interpret my wife’s hexagram. I feel that she will have to take what I have thought and her own interpretation into consideration. My overall feeling however is that this will be a good move for me and not a terrible or bad move for my family. In the end, in the grand scheme, it seems favorable.

to be cont...

2009-01-05T01:42:00.001-05:00

Divination ritual 12:00 – 1:00am

Too tired to expound upon these or do any major interpretation. This can wait for tomorrow. For now just to note I performed first a private divination and then a personal divination that required two hexagrams. More on that later.

freeform

2009-01-04T01:41:00.001-05:00

Meditation 4:30 – 5:00pm

Meditation this afternoon was forced but ended well. Felt exhausted and a bit loopy, presumably due to my fasting. Meditation began with microcosmic orbit in traditional posture. This gave way to a more relaxed freeform meditation. Eyes forced inward and cultivated qi in my hands. Here was a moment when my body vibrated and I pushed this energy into the imagined ball that I held in my lap. My hands tingled with static sensation; there were moments of lightning presence. I drew this into my tan t’ien. Meditation ended abruptly and shockingly when my phone rang. It was almost painful.

Sanctuary

2009-01-03T22:19:00.002-05:00

Well the first post of the year comes with a report of some results. Some time ago I performed a ritual with the group to acquire an abbey. Under the group working the intent was for a larger abbey, but there was the underlying desire/need for a personal space, a sanctuary within which to do my work in privacy and with little to no interruption. I have secured such a space. It had not occurred to me until the day before the New Year that my grandmother had a spare bedroom that was in disuse. I inquired and was given permission to arrange the room as a personal study. So far this has been an excellent space for me, quiet, roomy & private. I am free to do my meditations, quiet rituals, studies, writing and painting. It is undeniable that this is the acquisition of a personal abbey and a positive result of the working from the November NOX, Channeling CV17 Into Intent Flags. Good to start the year of with positive results!

2009-01-02T12:10:00.000-05:00

Quiet and Salacious
Out the window my eyes go
Fence of wooden boards

2009-01-01T01:50:00.001-05:00

The moon comes at night
There is everything in naught
Listen to silence

missing data

2008-12-26T15:01:00.001-05:00

12:26:2008

The online and public magickal journal has a way of keeping one honest with oneself. For instance if this were to be a private, sealed, handwritten journal, as were my past journals, I would not explain my absence in so many words. I would also not feel quite as sharply the pains of having failed monasticism. This is good. Failing to meet ones personal obligation, promises to the self, should be painful. I do however have excuses & justifications! HA! So basically the past 2 weeks have been utterly filled with festivities of a magnificent sort, well one, namely my child’s first birthday. This was the joy. The not so joyous circumstances involved my wife having finals, which left me without a schedule and xmas. I have found that I am rather obsessive compulsive with schedules. If I do not have one, a strict one, then I tend not to produce. I have known this about myself. I am also an active procrastinator. This leaves me floundering when my self-imposed systems are shaken. I should work on some flexibility metamorphosis. But for now I should just do what needs to be done to produce, and right now that means creating an impromptu schedule from now till my wife goes back to school, then I will need to make a new schedule. You see how this could agitate one with OCD? Ah, it is as it is, and I am in process. So, the days have not been lost.

For the past 3 days I have been fasting. I did eat on X-Mass but not terribly much. I have been weaning myself anyway, using a liquid diet, vegetable and fruit juices with almond milk. I already feel differences, even after such a short duration. I have not properly fasted in years. My current practice is calling for this.

NOX

2008-12-20T14:58:00.001-05:00

NOX 12:20:2008
Rituals were performed with relative professionalism. Frater Halcyon’s temple is an excellent venue. I want to do much more with the Hun-Tun ritual that I presented. Trance drumming is definitely the musical medium and the gnosis of the outer circle of participants. This ritual was more of an evocation/enchantment on an old fetish that anything else. We ritually cleansed the fetish of most old traces of sacrificial blood etc. There were some hard to clean spots. We used my son’s old toothbrush and plain old soapy water for this. Sitting around a short table covered in black cloth and a lit red candle, we each lit a stick of incense and spent some time scrubbing the old fetish clean. We then took our places with our drums and began drumming ecstatically. My instruction was that if you were not sweating then you were not doing it right. We chanted “hun-tun” allowing it to fade into glossolalia. Shortly after my stick broke rhythm began to slow down and the ritual concluded with laughter. I do not feel that the full extent of my ritual intent was achieved. This is by no fault of the participants as much as it may be the result of the residue left in the fetish itself.

Other rituals included the Spirit Detox ritual by Soror Sciurus and a protection ritual for Frater OAK’s son.

4/100

2008-12-13T14:45:00.003-05:00

12:13:2008:1:20-1:45pm
4/100
Sunny and cold

Same practice with a bit more order. One full Microcosmic Cycle (MC) to five FFSP. So the formula used is 1MCà5FFSP. I was able to pull in on the SP for much longer today, there seemed to be more strength in the region.

Before meditating I did have an orgasm. I had this given back to me however and re-ingested it. I did feel the loss of energy for a bit but not near as badly as if the Jing had just been spit in the sink. My energy seems to be back to normal. It is impossible at this point to know, however, if this is due to the re-ingestion or if it is due to the yoga.

3/100

2008-12-12T14:45:00.000-05:00

12:12:2008:11:10-11:45am
3/100
Sunny cool day

Same practice. I practiced freezing fire and sacral pump activation (FFSP) 32 times consecutively. After this I rested and allowed the energy to move through me naturally. During this time I seemed to be viewing the clouds of creation in Orion’s belt. There was an absence of body for some time, no buzzing no aching in the back, nothing but a rhythmic breathing. I did notice the ticking of the clock as I came in and out of deep meditation. I mention this only because of the strange nature of this occurrence. At times the ticking would be quite fast and at other times it seems quite slow, and in the same at times it would seem far away and other times as if it were directly in my ear. I m going to leave off without mentioning what this may mean concerning the bodies expansion and contraction as well as the relativity of time as the practitioner moves in and out of deep gnosis.

After cycling the microcosmic orbit for a bit longer and FFSP I settled in to use the slow fires. Before I did this I decided to go ahead and swallow the elixir from the heavenly pool. I decided to consider the Xaobala and perhaps discern where in the body some of these planetary influences may be. I didn’t get very far. I didn’t realize the impact that finding the sun, the center of the Xaobala, at the Solar Plexus would have. Activating this region sent me off on a completely fresh Gnostic experience. At first the solar plexus filled my body with a light, a pulsing light. This had the physical sensation of the “electrical” feeling that I have mentioned previously but was different somehow. First, the electric sensation was that of light and second it was moving in discernable pulsing waves out of my solar plexus into the rest of my body and beyond the body boundary. I ended up expanding out into the solar system itself, the planets revolving around my mid section. I was reminded of a meditation of Crowley’s, an AA meditation I think. At any rate I realized that while the macrocosm and the microcosm are the same they are also distinctly different and that trying to find the similarity between the two, or the pure links between the two are the same as trying to name or classify the Tao itself. The connection is the Tao. This dissolved after some time, or I expanded out further past it and was floating thoughtlessly in nebulous clouds or something similar. I came back shortly after this and ended the meditation.

2/100

2008-12-11T10:43:00.002-05:00

12:11:2008:10:45-11:20am
2/100
Cloudy, break in a huge storm covering the SE, not over yet

Same practice as yesterday. Nothing particularly interesting to note. There has been a pretty cramping obnoxious pain in my right lower back. I don’t think it is kidney due to the nature of the pain. I did send Jing directly from my stove to this region. I immediately saw a brilliant white gold light in my entire visual field. I did this again to no such effect.

During my cycling and Jing cultivation I thrusted Jing up and into tsu ch’iao. Shortly after this I leveled out for the slow fire. I experienced the familiar electric body. When this dissipated I broke posture. My left leg had gone numb, the worse meditation limb numbing I have had in quite some time.

1/100

2008-12-10T18:53:00.003-05:00

12:10:2008:1100-1145
Day 1/100
Rain, Thunder, Lightening, (tornado watch till 2pm)

Today began a 100-day Taoist yoga monasticism. Naptime (my son’s) is the best time for this to happen. There seems to be no other time. Today worked well.

CEPC. At the end of each cycle I practiced Freezing the Fire and activating the Sacral Pump simultaneously. This combination of methods was quite intense. I experienced first an indigo light blazing before my eyes, which lightened as the meditation advanced. There was the feeling of being under black water (primordial lake?). From this water came a blue green scaly female demon thing that seduced me and caused me to get an erection. I immediately used this by cycling and activating the sacral pump with the freezing fire method, firmly trapping all of this Jing in my stove. The image dissipated and as I continued cycling the indigo light began to head toward a light gold. Note: I would not call this “The” Golden light, but I think it was heading that direction. When the light faded I was overwhelmed with an electrical charge that filled my body. After this feeling faded I used the Cooling Fires and ended the meditation.

7:00pm
I have had the shits for nearly 2 hours and allot of abdominal bloating. Having green tea rather than coffee this evening.

Fire Cupping

2008-12-04T22:12:00.013-05:00

12:04:2008
So it seems that any good Taoist should have a method of healing. This can be used on the self or on others. It can be a philanthropic past time or a medical practice. But the Taoist practitioner should practice a healing art of some kind. There are many healing arts within the Taoist paradigm, qi gung, acupuncture, herbalism, tui na, moxibustion, shiatzu massage, etc. The one that I seem to be drawn to and have begun to practice a bit is Fire Cupping. Fire Cupping seems to predate acupuncture and since acupunctures development has been used in combination with it. Fire Cupping has also been used with what is called a seven star hammer. The seven star hammer is a small hammer with seven needles that are used to irritate the skin on and around an acupuncture point, the fire cup is then placed on top of this. The fire cupping method involves the placement of heated or fired cups on the patients skin. As the heated glass cools or the fire extinguishes suction to the patients skin occurs. This suction pulls qi through the area loosening up any stagnation that may have developed in the region. Traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) indicates that qi will moves along certain lines on the body called meridians. There are points along these meridians at which the meridian may be best manipulated by acupuncture or acupressure (i.e. fire cupping). Fire cupping is less invasive and people are much more willing to give it a try and let a beginning practitioner work on them. I am considering acupuncture however and do have a couple of patients lined up for this.

So far my work with the cups has been of mixed review. This is not a far assessment however as I have really only recently begun to study the meridians and traditional points along those meridians. I have two patients with shoulder pain. One I worked on placing the cups where I “felt” they should go. This patient reported an instantaneous release from pain and an increased range of motion (ROM). This faded after 24 hours. Additional reports indicate that this patient has not complained about the shoulder in several days. An encouraging sign.

My second shoulder case was nearly identical. This time I followed traditional meridian lines as well as “feeling” them out. This was last night and the patient reports a more generalized pain, as apposed to pain in a specific area of the shoulder. He has also indicates increased ROM. The patient indicates that the overall problem with his shoulder is in fact better today. He has suffered a strange side effect however. I would no say strange as much as unexpected. There seems to be an intermittent aching in the elbow. The fact that it’s the elbow does not surprise me. Several points I cupped on him are affect this elbow as well. The fact that there is an aching may indicate a shift in the diagnosis and some changes in the way I work with this patient next time.

I have had success with a patient’s hip pain. I have not heard this patient complain or otherwise indicate that he needed to me to work on this area again. When he was at my house the other night he could barely walk. After the cupping there was an immediate relief of pain that seems to have continued to get better. This was after one cupping session.

My success with upper back and neck pain has not been quite as dramatic. But here is the deal. The patient that I have worked on and had great success with also does allot of meridian qi work. This individual is a daily practitioner so his upkeep of the meridians after they had been opened and cleared would be strong. Also I have only ever worked on a patient’s specific issue once. I have not yet performed a secondary session on any patient. I feel that this will be necessary for more stubborn cases. I do not believe that the cupping technique is a one-time fix.

(Oh yes, if any of my patients read this please feel free to comment candidly concerning your experiences and or current states)

NOX

2008-11-22T22:04:00.005-05:00

This NOX was quite an adventure but one well worth taking! Frater Beenja has had to take a leave of absence for personal reasons so we seem to be somewhat of a transient temple. This being said we certainly are innovative.

Frater Usul, Soror Sciurus, Frater Fiducia and myself met for sushi, entertained one another and entertained a potential new SEUSS member. We deliberated shortly on ritual space before deciding firmly on a hotel room. There was one directly across the street. So we separated, Frater Usus and myself headed to the temple to pick up the egregore and other ritual tools and the others prepared the room by moving beds and tables etc.

The space was really quite nice. Open floor with a bedside table for a main altar. Our group egregore sat sternly behind two burning black candles and we began the proceedings. Opened by GPR and got to work.

Frater Usul presented first. We performed a healing ceremony for a Frater. A machine of a ritual. Precision oriented it seemed that this work wasted no gnosis. It took what it needed and all and used it with used it with precision.

Then Soror Sciurus presented us with a lupine delight. We nipped and bit and snarled and howled. Then we killed and fed our young. This created wolf servitors. I created mine for my son, a protector and hunter of goods on his behalf. I gave it to him the next day and he immediately named it “Dooga Dooga Dooga”. He loves that thing, even if it does smell like incense and cigarettes. My ritual was presented after the traditional purging ritual. I will spare gagging you with the details of this, Sr. Sciurus’ special treat.

So my ritual… I have neglected to write until now. I created it in my head and presented and performed from my head. Bad form. But the job was done. So this ritual, shit I suppose I should write the damn thing. Okay.

Channeling CV17 Into Intent Flags

Results:
11:22:2008 performance
Nothing in the way of actual manifestation of the specific intent has yet materialized. I should note however that I know for a fact that I fucked up the sequence. I got lost in the vibrations and completely forgot to cycle the energy. My studies of Taoist Yoga seem to indicate that this is not such a big deal as the practiced magician’s energy will follow these cannels regardless. It is distracting however when working in a group. My not being in tune with the group bothers me. I imagine that it was distracting to others as well. I would like to give this one another try, this time attending more to the sequence of the vibration in the microcosm. I think I was too focused on the mechanical structure of the ritual. This being its first performance I will forgive myself. I honestly was not positive that I would even be able to get the thing to work. But it did. So we are still waiting for any sign of actual manifestation of Will. In the meantime I think I may redo this ritual at our next NOX.

Break

2008-11-18T20:28:00.004-05:00

There is a calm tonight. I directly relate this to the demon trapping aspect of last nights ritual. The more I think about the 2nd phase communication the more I think that it was an inspiration and instruction on the third phase of the ritual, the demon catching/casting off.

There was allot of communication and activity today in all aspects of my life. I felt dizzy and heady for a bit today, but this passed. There are good things afoot in several directions. A Xaosphere of delights.

Actively breaking from all activities this evening.

Talismanic working III etc

2008-11-17T20:35:00.005-05:00

11:17:2008

GPR to open
ritual
GPR to close

Note: I have added the CEPC to the GPR. This gets the energy moving as it should.

Ritual happened in three parts this evening. Mostly do to an overwhelming dissatisfaction and agitation that I went into ritual with. I began by redrawing the talisman. I did not use the other two to draw from so this makes my first attempt at free recall. This was performed with accuracy. The things that were different are the things that I imagine will always be a bit different as some of the talisman, or I should say on the outsides of the talisman are drawn automatically. Though I was very dissatisfied with it at the time looking back on it I did not do too badly with it, in fact I think that it worked in its own right. The dissatisfaction led me to the next phase of ritual. Phase two of the ritual was a communication. I performed a light invocation of Wen Chang Di Jun, unfocused my eyes and began drawing. I believe that I will have to sit and meditate on this communication, as I have no clue what any of it means at the moment. There is one aspect that I recognized during ritual and that was the demon trapping bowl. This part of the communication led me to phase three of the ritual. I was left after this was finished thoroughly disgusted with myself. A horrible feeling. Phase three was the full on dome capturing. I took off my glasses, leaving me relatively blind and began putting ink on the paper. I used a lot more ink than I might ordinarily in this. There were several demons captured here; self doubt, depression, xxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx, and laziness. These were collapsed in on themselves and placed behind the yang lines. These yang lines are carried with me and around me. Not so much a caging of the demons as much as a cage around the self through which particular demons cannot enter.

Tatau Ritual Tattoo

2008-11-16T11:55:00.003-05:00

11:16:2008

Received my first Tatau tattoo. This method of tattooing is quite meditative. It has to be. I made the sticks for my sister, Eve, who is a tattoo artist and owns the Primitive Body Art tattoo studio here in Columbus. I made the Tatau sticks for her and will be continue to make the needle mounts. I will make a pair for myself as well and we will be doing much, much more of this style work as the years move forward. I am excited to get more.

The way the ritual method seems to work is that as the tattoo progresses the pain and posture force one into a meditative mind frame. It is either this or just sit in cramped agonizing pain. I focused on Wen Chang Di Jun and my last talisman. My meditation altar was beside me and lit with flame and incense. The process took about two hours for this small piece. This was a practice piece of course thus the short time and simple design. I will be developing a much more intense ritual and design in the future.

Talismanic working II

2008-11-12T20:58:00.003-05:00

11:12:2008
Work with Imperial Sovereign Wen Chang
(文昌帝君, Wen Chang Di Jun)
CEPC, GPR
Meditation
Talisman recreation
Mantra “Wen Chang Di Jun”

The development of this style is building on itself. Much like the leaning of a language or a written language rather, the process takes experimenting with the utensils and the strokes and repetition. Repetition is key to memorization and this is what this technique calls for. The talisman must be drawn, or recreated every time it is used. Further before it is fully effective, it must be memorized. In this the practitioner can draw the talisman, can follow the neuroglyphic map without being interrupted by creation, or looking over to copy. Mantra can be added to the fold, and should at a later date. I did use the mantra of the name of the deity that I am using, but this will not be the final product. The deity is charged with overseeing the productivity of and the success of the talisman as it manifests in the ethereal and attaches itself to macrocosms. The deity also oversees the interpretation of the talisman. The deity carries the talisman into the spirit world and sees to its activation, follows the map to its end. My wife had an interesting comment about the talisman this evening. When I was finished and she came into eh study she saw it on my altar and noted that it looked like a treasure map. So right she is!
So the basic rundown of the method is, create talisman, recreate talisman adding to it until it is complete and memorized. Once the talisman is memorized I will be figuring out a grand finale ritual to blow it up.

Talismanic working

2008-11-11T21:19:00.003-05:00

GPR

Altar lit

Meditation with SOI as mantra

Talisman created. Not charged. This will give me something to do tomorrow night.

The creation of the talisman was however somewhat of a charging in its own right. There is a good bit of gnosis that goes into the Creation of one of these things. Without gnosis the whole thing is a bust from the get go. The point is that this is a system of lines drawn out from the unconscious mind, brought to the surface by agitating the depths of the mind with trance. When this moment bubbles over itself and into the lines and the gliding of the brush on the paper you have a map. This talisman is a neuroglyphic map. We do not create these they are discovered and then can be used to achieve the Will simply by following them, the same way one would follow a map. This will come.

Should You Wonder

2008-11-05T00:46:00.002-05:00

So, Should you wonder what the hell I've been up to and why my XaoTao journal has suffered so terribly as of late. Check out my alter ego at:

http://sites.google.com/site/garciafamilyproductions/
&
http://sammy-and-me.blogspot.com/

My focus has been on family and working nights. There is a present shift. Not a paradigmal shift, but a inter-paradigmal shift. I will know more as the water settles. Things are good. I am exhausted, but things are very good.

The Dragon Copulates with the Tiger

2008-10-30T23:59:00.002-04:00

10:30:2008
PM
GPR & Sublimation
Very intense sublimation mediation tonight. When my shit opened up it all opened up. I have learned to recognize it coming. When my mouth begins to fill with fluid its coming. Then my left eye fills and overflows. My sinuses opened up like last time, only much heavier this time. My nose began to full on run. My right eye opened this time and my right sinus so that my eyes and my nose were running profusely.

Vision: A hooded, half masked bust came at me from the incense cherry. It took on the form of a demon. It seemed menacing, and it seemed to question my right to be there. Where? I don’t know whatever mental state I was in at that moment in space and time. I was a bit tranced out. I must have slipped into a particular mind-field. So at any rate this annoyed me. In my mind I thought at it, “I am that I am, I am your Master.” With this it promptly dissipated back to wherever it came from. And I back into a relative no-mindedness.

When my mouth was full I swallowed the fluid into my Tan Tien. I closed my eyes and crossed them hard. This had a dizzying effect that seemed to hurl me backwards into myself. There was quite a lot of mental neuro-technics and then a very smooth calmness. There were a few moments of in and out no-mind Gnostic trance. The overall feeling was that of calmness. AHA! Fire into Water, the dragon copulating with the tiger! I will need to do some more research into this reaction.

dullness skipping out

2008-10-29T23:19:00.002-04:00

10:29:2008

PM
I ate to dullness this evening. Not sure how this happened. Rice and Beans sit heavy if one is not careful. At any rate I am too dulled to meditate. I would have thought that this would settle but it is not. Shit, I know exactly how this happened. I have been bottling wine this evening. Of course, as I bottle I must take a sip, or sips rather to insure quality. Well, I discovered that while the quality is pretty low the alcohol content is pretty high. This was the goal. I ate with quite a buzz on and a belly full of young, young, yeasty wine. But on the plus side there are ten plus bottles of wine in my back room for Halloween! Okay, perhaps this would be a good time to work on my mundane journal. I should call it my career journal and I should cast upon its head! Right after I fill this next bottle. When I get the sight up and running I will post a link. I don’t mind it going from here to there, just not from there to here, for obvious reasons that will be even more obvious when the nature of the ‘other’ blog is seen.

sublimation

2008-10-28T21:49:00.002-04:00

10:28:2008

PM
Sublimation. Closed channels.

This sublimation was a bit different. I felt that it was past due and it was. I was at the foot of a great white mountain. I crossed my eyes to look inward. This had a much more pronounced effect than I expected. I became a bit dizzy and disoriented. I was not sure if this was good for the sublimation process so I quit. As gnosis mounted I began to feel more at ease with the process. I was being coached to relax and not try so hard. The idea was to not try to force sublimation but to allow sublimation. There is no doing this. There is only created the mental and physical environment in which sublimation can take place, and then it will. I crossed my eyes again and concentrated myself inward. This time the dizzying buzz seemed to balance rather than disorient. I was humming now with an energy that was vibrating through the microcosmic orbit. And the left eye ducts opened. My mouth filled with fluid. My sinuses pulsed and seemed to swell. This was a new sensation. I feel a bit head coldy now. Strange. Perhaps the illness that I was pushing out of me was residual from the cold we have all had. Perhaps I need to do this a few nights in a row just to be sure I get it all.

Further note: I began to feel an ache in my testicles shortly after this meditation. I messaged the ducts and it seems to have helped a bit.

NOX (Night Of Xaos)

2008-10-27T21:14:00.001-04:00

10:27:2008
NOX notes

The evening began with a meet and great dinner during which I met Frater U for the first time. This was a very pleasant experience and it seems that we will all get along splendidly.

As for the ritual workings I must admit that I don’t have very clear memories of the night. I could explain this away by saying that I was drunk, though I had not drank as much as I have been known to. It seems that my memory and knowledge of the evening seemed to give after the MoCB.

I performed this invocation after drawing the devil card in a lottery. Frater U performed the litany and J, F and S aided. I smoked a spliff of incense dedicated to the purpose, dropped my pants and squatted over the fire trying to start it. I must have been trying to use my kundalini fire as I couldn’t seem to get it lit. The invocation began to take during this process. I have fleeting memories of sticks scratching my balls, being pissed because I could not get to the wine and subsequently trying to break it open, being popped on the ass (thanks U ;-) and being held to the floor face down.

After having read Frater U’s account of this ritual I realize that I was deeper in than I thought. I do not remember trying to leave the temple space. Also it seems that my being pushed to the ground was not that but was Frater U performing the exorcism.

After the ritual I was completely unable to partake of the wine that was consecrated. It burned like fire going down and instantly made me nauseous.

The ritual to create the group Egregore was a bit of a blur for me. It seemed that we were enveloped in wilderness. This wilderness was dark and confusing. Frater U’s dismissal of Terminus seemed to go well. There was some council fire deliberation before the invocation of the Grandmother Owl that was good and set the mood for the remainder of the ritual. I will not go into detail; as to be honest I cant. However the emotion that was left was one of love, deep intimate love and fraternity. I do remember bringing the Owl around the circle and giving her to everyone to hold and love. This must have been when the energies we gathered were fused into the fetish to create the egregore.

Frater U performed the invocation and seemed to sway and soften. His voice became soft and strained. The egregore seemed a bit shy, perfectly natural for an Owl. The name was divined as well as sacrificial offerings.

I performed Owl Tai Chi to the lighting of the Kuei candle to open the portal allowing the ancestral spirits of our area and each individual’s desired Kuei’s passage.

There is much more to be done with this egregore and her brood.

R&R

2008-10-26T21:12:00.000-04:00

Rest and Recovery

NOX (Night Of Xaos)

2008-10-25T21:10:00.000-04:00

NOX

specific daily practice

2008-10-19T23:58:00.005-04:00

10:19:2008

Specific daily practice (i.e. within cast circle) has been sparse. I did go to the temple once last week and performed a divinition for someone and made sacrifice to my Keui. General daily practice has been constant. This paradigm has a way of infusing itself into all of ones daily actions. Cooking and cleaning for instance take on a specific spiritual context. There is the kitchen god, Tsao Chun who presides in the kitchen, of course, watching the activities of the family and reporting back to the Jade Emperor.

This relationship gives one a constant awareness of action; particularly the action one is taking where family life is concerned. I am feeling that part of reason, synchronistically speaking, that I have been called to be a stay at home father is do to this paradigm. “Keep to the feminine” the Tao Te Ching often instructs. I am at this point not only “practicing” this paradigm, but living it. It has become who I am. My diet has changed, my family role has changed, the way I think of the world and the cosmos has changed. I can fairly safely say that at this point I am a Taoist. I have found the actual spiritual practice, unless one adopts orthodox Taoism, is pretty freestyle in its basic components. This is easy for a chaos magickian. The main ingredients haven’t changed, just the spices. There are some points within Taoist yoga and the way one considers sexual energies that have been difficult for me as a westerner, but overall nothing detrimental to my basic lifestyle. My magickal life is full to the brim with little to no effort. This is the Wu Wei. Playing with plastic rings on the floor and exploring the basic physics of life with my son as he discovers how things within space and time works, has given me gnosis that I cannot express. Spending time with a perfect, unadulterated soul has given me inspiration. Having breed and care giving has given my life a purpose that trumps all previous life goals. Anything that I do, create, produce, write, become, from this point forward in my life is nothing more than an added bonus to an already fulfilled life. This does not make me less inclined to do. It has made what I do what I am. I no longer strive for this act of creation that should fulfill me. I am Wu Wei. I am Tzu Jan. I am doing without striving, acting without action.

Back in the Blog

2008-10-17T23:51:00.003-04:00

Well it has been too long. During my move I have been disconnected from most everything routine and or normal. My magick has waned, my research has been sporadic and unorganized at best, my journaling has been virtually nonexistent, my blogging, well, obviously lacking. However, I found my desk this evening. Somewhere underneath all the unshelved books, computer hardware, unhung pictures, random papers, etc etc, was my desk. And now that this space has been secured things will get back to normal. I have a few journal entries to backdate but not many, so don't hold your breath. I may just begin again from here.

when a text reads

2008-10-03T00:04:00.000-04:00

10:03:2008

AM
When a text reads, “If you have not met an experienced teacher but rely on your own intellect to understand the Taoist scriptures… you will fail in your practice… and all your efforts will be sterile.” (Lu K’uan Yü, p. 51) you can be sure that this is an effort to keep a clergy class in business. You will see this not only in many Taoist texts but also in many other magickal texts as well. This is an inaccurate truth. While it may be true for many it is not true for the gifted magickian, in fact it is the gifted magickians that often develop phrases like this to keep themselves in business. Someone somewhere created the method by relying on his or her own intellect and understanding. This is the prima materia, this is the golden method! So when you publish the methods developed from your personal genius, make sure that you remind students that they need to consult you before they will understand the “truth” of your teaching. Do not forget to charge a nominal fee for these services!

ritual to make sacrifice to your personal keui

2008-10-01T00:07:00.000-04:00

10:01:2008

CEPC
This will be done during my Boy’s first nap of the day. Usually between 10 and 11 am.
Sublimation meditation will follow during the second nap of the day, usually around 3 or 4ish. Though he does not always take this nap.
Okay, back to some since of normalcy. The problems with the house I moved into seem to be getting worked out relatively swiftly and painlessly. I have made sacrifice to my Kuei to insure this. Another sacrifice will be in order. I have found that it is not necessary to visit the temple for this. I simply designate the sacrifice by scrawling the sigil on it. I can make these deposits at a later date. With the sacrifice designated with the sigil my Kuei recognizes this. So, sacrifices will be collected until such time that a proper send off can be achieved. I had originally intended that the sacrifice could be made at any moment from any place but it feel now that I should wait until a proper ritual action can be taken. I will write another ritual specific to the making of sacrifices. This should involve the ghost dance (Kuei Tai-Chi). The main Kuei’s altar lit and charged. Actually this ritual is should not be that complicated in form. Achieving gnosis during would be the most difficult aspect, but even this should not be hard to achieve if one’s daily practices are up to snuff. So…

Ritual to Make Sacrifice to Your Personal Keui

0. Banish
1. Light the Kuei’s altar with a single lamp dedicated to your Kuei.
2. If you do not already have your ghost money prepared charge the ghost money by drawing your Kuei’s sigil on both sides.
3. Have three appropriate vessels, one for drink, one for food and one for burning the ghost money.
4. Facing the altar perform CEPC in horse posture.
5. Approach altar and make offerings of food and drink.
6. Sit and meditate for a time vibrating the name of your Kuei as a mantra.
7. Approach altar, fold ghost money in half and hold it between your teeth.
8. Begin the ghost dance (Kuei Tai-Chi)
9. When gnosis has been entered and returned from, approach your altar and burn ghost money.
10. Banish

PM
I should have known that saying the word “schedule” would demolish any schedule that had existed. I feel the urge to create, to do the art of this magick but I have no space, nor have any of my supplies even been unpacked. The property manager did show up this morning and will have someone here on Monday to fix the floor. This will give me more space, the study will be functioning and I will have a space to work on some things. This unsettled current state is cramping my work.

But on the upshot the rest of my life, marriage, family life, general life happiness, has increased exponentially. Even my relationship with my grandmother, the initial reason for the move, has improved. I feel like we have the relationship we had before my family moved into her house. She does not seem to resent me anymore. This has been a good move. The bone oracle and I-Ching reading were right on. Following the advice given during that ritual divination was indeed the right course. I love it when this shit works!

not dead yet

2008-09-27T00:09:00.002-04:00

I am not dead yet. Though it is an inevitable end.
I have been dealing with the whirlwind of results from the Kuei ritual. A major part of this has meant moving. I will be offline for a few days and will do my best to catch up. Other than that, I have made another sacrifice to fortify my stand with my Kuei. Things look good.
Peace in Xaos

sublimation left eye

2008-09-18T01:13:00.002-04:00

quick notes:

tears came from left eye first
and left nostril, clear mucus
took much longer this evening
full hour
eyes still blurry
filled mouth with elixer twice
not sweet, well the first was kinda sweet the second almost foul
allowed sexual generation
pushed generative fluid back into the stove
very intense energy
burned quickly
trasmission: this is nto an everyday meditation or does not have to be

dream

2008-09-17T23:02:00.000-04:00

9:17:2008

Dream

Sammy and I were driving a truck; a small truck like a toy truck only it was not a toy. I was driving and he was sitting in my lap. We came to a cliff and I had to stand up and hold him in one arm and the steering wheel in the other to keep it from going over. I layed Sammy on the ground to try to get the truck but then realized that there was a snake on the ground. This was the same snake that was at the temple door after NOX. I thought it would be okay until I saw Sammy going for it. Then the word priorities began to repeat in my head like a mantra. I let go of the truck letting it fall over the cliff and went to grab Sammy. On my way to grabbing him I saw the snake begin to spit a brown venom at him. It then bit him in the face before I could get to him. I removed the snake from his face throwing it aside and immediately tried to call 911 but my phone would not work. I was going into a panicked state and the mantra “priorities” continued to roar in my mind. Alicia comes up to me and gets her phone to work, but by this time Sammy’s face has swollen and had become deformed. I was horrified and Sammy was going into shock. I woke up to find myself alone in the bed. Apparently I chased them both out of the bedroom with my snoring.

I have my opinions about this dream but if any one else would like to take a shot at it please feel free to post.

dragon sublimation

2008-09-16T00:43:00.003-04:00

9:16:2008

PM
Sublimation meditation.

Staring at the burning tip of a stick of incense I held my eyes open. Closed all channels, save the eyes. After about 30 minutes I felt tears finally welling up in my eyes, primarily my right eye. Then it bursts and ran down my cheek. Tears continued to flow from this eye until they ran down my chest. The eye immediately stung like hell after the tears began. Never teared from my left eye. During this the ember from the incense took on several forms. The first was a dragons face, then a cow. After awhile my eyes crossed naturally and I allowed them to do this as the crossing of the eyes is another gate to close. This allowed me to see the large dragon. The two burning sticks were eyes and the rest of the dragons head formed from the eather. I was breathing in the breath of the dragon and it mine. Pretty intense moment, but it was a distraction so I let it pass. There were several moments of sexual excitation and genital stimulation but nothing to erection. The elixir when it was ready to swallow had a hint of sweetness. Not as strong as the old texts indicate but like a honey dew, rather than pure honey.

Keui Tai-Chi Results I

2008-09-15T21:59:00.002-04:00

Keui Tai Chi
http://j.a.garcia.93.googlepages.com/ghostdance

I have already, to my surprise had results from my ritual. Filled out an app for a great house this afternoon and also received two interesting job opportunities that will allow me to make some extra money from home. I know that sounds like one of those scam things but this is not that. I wont be sowing teddy bears together or mailing things. I will refrain from further comment on this due to a superstitious nature. I will also be going to the temple to make a follow up offering to secure all this after the house thing is secure. I don’t want to be too hasty. No tips until the main course has been served.

9:14:2008

2008-09-14T22:24:00.001-04:00

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
This day was a day
Looking at the leaves of trees
Today I saw you
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

NOX (Night Of Xaos)

2008-09-13T21:57:00.000-04:00

9:13:2009

Keui Tai-Chi (ghost dance) ritual
http://j.a.garcia.93.googlepages.com/ghostdance

This was done as part of group ritual. I also participated in the rituals of Frater Fiducia, Soror Siva(?!) and Frater Beenja. Soror Siva(?!) also performed an invocation of Baphomet.

These rituals went off splendidly. The evening began with the Baphomet invocation. The reverie experienced during the dancing around Baphomet was very intense and empowering. I know that the Baphomet was speaking and expressing powers, positions etc but my trance was a bit too heavy to remember the words exactly. I wish we had recorded this event.

The Voudon ritual was surprisingly authentic. Not surprising that Frater Beenja pulled it off but surprising in that a room full of white folks pulled such a strong voudon current. I was impressed and humbled by the appearance of Met Kalfou.

Soror Svia(?!)’s ritual purging was, gut wrenching. I only wish that I had eaten so that would have had more to contribute than some sake and stomach bile. But then shear force that it took to push that from my gut caused a pain that aided gnosis. The gnosis of that ritual was very good. I cannot remember much of it at all except the purging. The fire and the chanting and the energy flowing through the circle were strong.

The burial of Frater Fiducia did not do so much for me as I am sure it did for him. I should note however that the performance of the burial was very real, his deadweight combined with dumping him in a shallow grave felt real. There was a bit of gnosis caused by these moments of dissonance.

My ritual went well. Strange even now in my memory I see myself moving toward the circle from a different direction than I did. I was moving toward the South I invision myself moving east. The incense burned me much more than I expected. The chanting with as many incense as I had in my hands caused my to feel as if I could not breath. The dance itself was surreal. As I pull this memory from my head the top of my head begins to hurt. Eerily erotic. The center seemed to be visually opened. The combination of incense and the single candle in the center created the image of an open portal, a cone of light, from the center of the temple space. Ghosts coming and going at will. And then the calling of our ghost, xxxxx xxxxx.

9

2008-09-12T21:31:00.000-04:00

9:12:2008

Spent the day gathering supplies and brainstorming ritual.

ritual research

2008-09-11T22:37:00.003-04:00

9:11:2008

We moved the mattress to the floor today to keep my son from falling off of it. We then decided that he should learn the “edge” lesson so we let him crawl to the edge with the full intent of letting him crawl off. With my wife and I on edge ourselves we watched as he crawled face first nearly over the edge of the bed, then we watched in amazement as he turned himself around and got down feet first! Smart little monkey!

This evening my task is to do some research and meditate on this Kuei ritual. My head is fucking killing me. I have either not drank enough water or stress is just taking its toll upon me. My son has been difficult the past few days with the cutting of his first tooth. He takes after me in that he becomes needy when he feels shitty. This has slowed my work a bit and is the reason for the lack of activity on the tenth.

It is time to begin my fasting food wise and sex wise for this ritual work on Saturday.

I believe I may have chosen one of the most difficult paradigms to research, at least where religious/magickal Taoism is concerned. I am astounded at how difficult it is to find any detail concerning Taoist ritual practice. Perhaps it is owed to the extreme secrecy and seclusion that Taoist masters have traditionally maintained over the centuries. I have dug up a good thing or two. I am going to have to perhaps cast for some inspiration for this ritual. I do know a Frater or two that would be pleased with the discovery of the use of chicken sacrifice and blood in Taoist ghost rituals. This will jive well with other currently practiced paradigms. It may also bode well for a heavy sacrifice night and a chicken barbeque! Library is about to close down on me so I better pack it in. Damn, nearly 3 hours of steady research and no solid ritual development. Not true, I have developed a few ideas, but it’s not solid yet. Now I am just rambling to make myself feel better. Blah blah blah. I did discover through my Galileo research and website research that I am going to have to invest some money in some books. Most of the information that I need is in books, not research articles.

(note: put in unpub journal)

At home: performed meditation on the upcoming ritual. I saw most of it play out. Seems I am dealing with a multi-leveled ritual. Also when I came out of meditation I noticed something on my xaobala painting that is on my altar. This piece is as of yet unfinished but something came blazing forth into my consciousness. The importance of this remains to be seen. However the magickal synchronisity held within this moment has not been seen in some time. During my Kuei meditation I was interupted by a baphomet invocation in which an individual was performing. It glitters with potential power. 436??? AHA!!!

9:10:2008

2008-09-10T22:36:00.001-04:00

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Contemplating this
Moment of awareness gone
And it slips away
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Vino update

2008-09-10T21:57:00.003-04:00

Filtered out the must and moved the liquid to a 5 gal bucket. Added 3 lbs of sugar, some maple syrup, malto-dextrine, fermax yeast nutrient and Lal Vin EC-1118 yeast (Champaign yeast). Capped it off with a proper airlock and now my good fraters and sorors we have fermentation! It began about an hour after I capped it all off.

misremembered

2008-09-09T21:46:00.001-04:00

9:09:2008

I will be getting the proper yeast for the wine today. I have hesitated because all I had was bread yeast and I want this wine to taste as good as possible for a first run. I did sterilize everything pretty heavy, the grapes included, during the prep process so it should keep. There has been no fermentation so far, which is good I suppose. If there is no wild yeast in my must then there is probably no other nasty bacteria either. This is good. Interesting though. For two nights I have dreamed heavily of this wine. Of taking care of it and preparing it and getting the correct yeast etc, etc.

Next will be to make some beer, and then another vat of wine. This process is not just to make drink to drink, but is to make ritual drink specifically.

Turns out the yeast will have to be got tomorrow. I misremembered the days and times of the home brew store. Tomorrow will have to do. I think the must will hold. I hope the must will hold. I did sterilize it pretty good so, a future toast from my muscadine wine! “We are glad it held, here’s to holding and good sterilization!”

Shit fuck me! Okay if you look at the Xaobala from the ritual invocation of the immortal self you will notice that there are wavy lines from the sun to the outer spheres. This would be because I misremembered the fucking text. I just ran across it during some other research to find that it is straight lines that spirits travel on, NOT CURVY! Hence the reason there are so many curvy roads in china. Fucker! Okay, so some interesting information was pulled from this ritual nonetheless. Why? If the primus for the lines fomr the sun to the self int eh outer spheres was wrong then what was happeneing?

The curvy lines may have prevented contamination. In this way energy from the sun may have been filtered so as to not contaminate the self at the spheres. This may have allowed for a build up from the self from a purely self-source. Regardless it is imperative that this ritual be performed again with the initially intended form.

I hereby declare the 13th of the month to be ghost day. In china it is the 15th. I do not know if china has the similar resonance around the number 15 as we do 13, but 13 seems appropriate. And, my good Fraters and Sorors, the 13 just happens to be the date our chaosmagick workshop falls on. This was unintended but an excellent turn of events.

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Interesting note on the placement of an altar in the temple: I used compass to determine the directions of the temple and placed an altar in the direction that I for some reason thought was north. It turned out to be south, completely opposite. However some research has brought to light an interesting synchronicity concerning this confusion. The Chinese in days of around 2800 BCE used a compass that was south pointing.
“When the people of China go out to collect jade, they carry a south pointer with them so
as not to lose their way.” Kuei Ku Tzu, dated about 300 B.C.E. This altar is in the south now and will be a guide for me/us not to lose our way.

my whole life fell apart

2008-09-08T19:57:00.000-04:00

9:08:2008

There was a break today. My whole life fell apart and fell back together before sunset. We will be moving sooner than expected. This falls into Shêng, “Do not hesitate” This aspect has become apparent. But all else still holds, it will just be shorter term than I at first suspected.

Visited our friend and lawyer today. Looks like we have a good case against this company. We filed the suit this evening.

wine

2008-09-07T19:56:00.001-04:00

9:07:2008

Began making my wine today; muscadine from the temple yard and grape for a boost.

9:06:08

2008-09-06T19:55:00.001-04:00

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Falling in the pool
We slip on the edges of
Concrete and grass stains
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

divination for a friend

2008-09-05T23:23:00.000-04:00

9:05:2008

AM
CEPC
Sublimation Meditation

Good meditation, nothing spectacular to report. Toaday was similar to yesterday. The patience and emotional stability continues.

PM
Performed an I-Ching divination ritual for a friend. Seemed to go well. Performed with full candlelight, incense and calligraphy work. Seemed to give the information needed. Accuracy of course will take time to determine.

results continued

2008-09-04T23:22:00.001-04:00

9:04:2008

There have been some noticeable emotional results from last nights work. I have felt very balanced today. I have been much more patient, with no effort on my part and today was a good day. I did not expect there to be any major results from the bone oracle ritual save the divination itself but to my delight there have been. This feeling seems steady as well, not fleeting, or the feeling of ritual afterglow. This ritual has manifested itself in every mundane activity of the day. My grandmother even consented to try my cooking. This was a novelty. True she has been sick, but she has in the past been resistant to our style of eating. She seemed to like my Kung Pao Tofu! So we all ate at the table together, which has not happened for weeks. I was not aggravated or drawn to anger once today. Today was a good day.

Results from Bone Oracle Divination Ritual

2008-09-03T22:23:00.004-04:00

9:03:2008

PM
Bone Oracle Divination Ritual
http://j.a.garcia.93.googlepages.com/boneoracledivinationritual

Results:

Music: Shamanic Drumming CD.
Incense: Bat’s Blood

Banished using the large Masonic bell that a Frater gave me. Performed a freestyle chaosphere banishing. Bell in left hand held up ringing into the heavens, heavens falling into the bell. The wand pushing forth into the aether cast the chaosphere that was cut into space by sword like motion.

This done I sat at the apex of the triangle of fire. I cried. I cried like a child who was lost. And I was lost. I have been pained by this burden and have been set to a task in which I have no idea what the right direction or path is. So I cried. I cried because I was lost and I cried because I am losing my grandmother. My heart is heavy and sick with this sadness. And I have been behaving like a rotten child acting out with no knowledge of why or for what. Acting out because of a pain that cannot be interpreted.

The sigils on the bone were simple. “Stay” with yin and yang lines and “Go” with positive yin and yang lines. It took longer than I expected for the bone to begin cracking but it was apparent when it did. It was audible as well as tactile. It was a strangely pleasurable feeling for the bone to be cracking in my hand. It felt primal and at the same time it felt like a pressure from my own being was released with the answering of my question. Not to mention that the smell of burning bone seems to trigger something in the psyche. One is pulling answers from a world stale and dead, from a world unknown. One is not only practicing pyromancy but also necromancy. These bones and the smell of burning bone attract the kuei, it attracts the ancestors, it opens the gates to hell.

The answer: The first crack seems to tell me to stay. The bone cracked to the yang line under the stay sigil. I meditated on this and accepted it. I needed to know everything though and wanted to know what the outcome in the other way would be. So I continued to hold the bone over the flame. The next crack came on the Go side but this time it was a deep obvious crack that touched the sigil itself. While reading the cracks I was curious as to where the lines were going so I applied a bit of pressure with my carving tool to the end of the crack. A small piece came off of the Stay side, under the sigil. A large piece came off of the Go side taking with it a good bit of the sigil. This resounded in my mind as a Go answer.

The hexagram drawn to further explain this answer was Shêng / Pushing Upward. This hexagram again describes motion, moving, “go”. But in this sense it refers to the work of the situation. The move will be work and will be more emotional work than anything. Things will have to be acted out in such a way that the transition is natural, smooth and understood. This means absolute peace, even if forced, up until the move. This means me not acting like a hurt child. Six in the beginning. The growth of wood from the earth needs yielding earth. If correct action is taken, if the growth is done with yielding then the motion (the move) will be seen as right, it will seem a natural progression rather than a desperate move. The desperate move will hurt feelings. The growth motivated move will be seen as right and natural. There will be no resistance. Nine in the third place. The beginning of the upper nuclear trigram Chên / Movement. In this seems to be a warning not to hesitate because things seem good. This good timing must be taken advantage of. If the move is going to be successful and painless then it will have to be done during a time when it would seem the move is not necessary. Don’t hesitate when this time comes. Do not make this move during a time of resistance.

dregs of a cough

2008-09-02T22:07:00.000-04:00

9:02:2008

AM
CEPC during my morning walk
Sublimation meditation at lit altar

I am finally feeling better. Only the dregs of a cough are left. I seem to be getting up the last of this phlegm.

My grandmother told me of a dream she had last night. Apparently; a woman was being visited by her daughter. Her daughter wanted to get all of her money. The daughter was very insistent and the mother very resistant. The daughter told the mother that she was crazy (I suppose because the mother could not handle her own money). The mother eventually hit the daughter in the head and the daughter returned the hit. The hitting continued. Somehow my grandmother was told the meaning of this story, which was that god put us here on this earth to get along and love one another, not to fight. Exactly how this all plays out to that moral I have not a clue. Regardless the dream itself is pretty indicative of reality, or at least her perception of it. This worries me.

I don’t know what is fixing to happen with all of this. We are making an appointment soon with a neurologist to get a diagnosis. We shall see from there.

Gustav was not as bad as I predicted. I wonder if these weather dreams are not divinatory as much as they are just reactions to the environment and hearing about hurricanes during the season. This would make perfect sense.

I should do a divinatory ritual to assess this situation with my grandmother and our highly probable move in December. This could be a good opportunity to develop the bone oracle ritual. This should occur tomorrow night.

9:01:2008

2008-09-01T22:06:00.002-04:00

XXXXXXXXXXXX
Perceptual bliss
Senses are catapulted
Moment is silence
XXXXXXXXXXXX

Ritual Results posted

2008-09-01T11:35:00.001-04:00

Ritual results have been posted under the date of its occurance. Please see 8:29:2008.

hurricane dream

2008-08-31T22:05:00.000-04:00

8:31:2008
AM
Still resting.
I can’t even breathe well enough to circulate my breath without coughing, which has become quite painful.

Dreamed looking out my window to find that the hurricane was calling for evacuation of my town. I noticed that they had dug a trench at the foot of my house, not a trench a huge hole and were lining the walls with cans and tires. I couldn’t figure out what the sense of this was as it seemed to me that it would just fill with water. Missy (a friend of mines dog) was sent across town to deliver a message. She took the message in her mouth and ran off, cutting up underneath debris and weaving past projectiles. So I ran upstairs to check the status of the storm. I looked out of my balcony, pretty high up and saw that the skies had darkened and the waves were crashing into the windows. These must have been at least 40-foot breaks. The sand had all been washed off of the beech, there was nothing but the bare rock shelves left. No sand. I wondered how long it would take till we had beeches again. Then I wondered if I was even going to survive.

This illness seems to be spurring dreams. Perhaps the uneasiness with which I sleep. Oceanic themes, dangerous waters. Looked up some info on Gustav this morning as well. It seems that the name would mean “staff of the gods”. Great thing to name a storm. And should this staff single us out in anger? We are now experiencing the outer edges of this storm. My prediction is that it will be near Katrina, apparently it is a cat 4 now (Katrina was cat 5) But evacuations have been better so death should not be as severe. These storms are going to get worse over the years. Our dreams will reflect this. If the “savior” came it would be in the eye of a hurricane. It is easy to see how jesus freaks could see these hurricanes as a cleansing from god. I can easily see it from my perspective as a cleansing from Gaia (that is the hypothesis). You are building castles in the sand people. Castles in the sand.

castles in the sand

2008-08-31T10:16:00.002-04:00

(keep an eye out for my ritual post. I am still working on that one, it may take a minute. It will be dated 8:29 and posted to my web page. I will let you know.)

8:31:2008
AM
Still resting.
I can’t even breathe well enough to circulate my breath without coughing, which has become quite painful.

Dreamed looking out my window to find that the hurricane was calling for evacuation of my town. I noticed that they had dug a trench at the foot of my house, not a trench a huge hole and were lining the walls with cans and tires. I couldn’t figure out what the sense of this was as it seemed to me that it would just fill with water. Missy (a friend of mines dog) was sent across town to deliver a message. She took the message in her mouth and ran off, cutting up underneath debris and weaving past projectiles. So I ran upstairs to check the status of the storm. I looked out of my balcony, pretty high up and saw that the skies had darkened and the waves were crashing into the windows. These must have been at least 40-foot breaks. The sand had all been washed off of the beech, there was nothing but the bare rock shelves left. No sand. I wondered how long it would take till we had beeches again. Then I wondered if I was even going to survive.

This illness seems to be spurring dreams. Perhaps the uneasiness with which I sleep. Oceanic themes, dangerous waters. Looked up some info on Gustav this morning as well. It seems that the name would mean “staff of the gods”. Great thing to name a storm. And should this staff single us out in anger? We are now experiencing the outer edges of this storm. My prediction is that it will be near Katrina, apparently it is a cat 4 now (Katrina was cat 5) But evacuations have been better so death should not be as severe. These storms are going to get worse over the years. Our dreams will reflect this. If the “savior” came it would be in the eye of a hurricane. It is easy to see how jesus freaks could see these hurricanes as a cleansing from god. I can easily see it from my perspective as a cleansing from Gaia (that is the hypothesis). You are building castles in the sand people. Castles in the sand.

Gaia Mother Dreaming

2008-08-30T10:13:00.000-04:00

8:30:2008

Today has been a day of rest and recovery. Recovery mainly from this ickyness I have.
Dreamt a few dreams this morning.

XXXXX’s Mom came to me while I was lounging. She stood before me, desperate and a bit scared. Strange moment, she was also very sensual. I don’t know how to describe this, not sexual. She was sensual, like a cosmic world mother, like a deity. But she was in pain. The situation shifted and she was in the lounging position. She seemed a bit happier, at least more rested. Holy crap. I just realized something; the black, red and blue birds were not all. There were also Blue birds. That is the damn blue bird. It was quite plain and now that I think back on it I recognized it as such in the dream itself. So these birds were sitting on her face. She seems very happy about this. They seemed to sooth her. They were tiny like finches. They seemed to be grooming her. She was delighted by this and it seemed to stabilize her mood.

Sammy and I swimming in a brackish river. I found a bottle of port wine. We were going to drink it but an alligator swam up and we had to give it to him to pacify it so it would not eat us. I swam ashore. I had him in my arms and we are now watching sharks. Lots of sharks coming up to get warm in the shallow water. A lady comes up and tells us the tide will be rising soon. We try to move up the beech but now the bank is very steep and breaking up sand. I became stuck; I could not climb any higher without dropping Sammy. I dug my hand into a place and secured myself so I could hold for a while. I told the lady to get us some help because we could not make it up the steep bank without both of my hands, which were of course not free. She indicated that she would go for help. I was nervous but not terrified by any means. I was confident in this woman for some reason. So we settled in to wait. Sammy began to cry. I woke up.

results from Invocation of the immortal self

2008-08-29T11:14:00.003-04:00

PM
Ritual. Temple M.F. 79.

Began with the Invocation of the Immortal Self.
http://j.a.garcia.93.googlepages.com/invocationoftheimmortalself

Results:
1. Pluto: void nothing, a state of no mind.

2. Neptune: whales, singing, swimming dancing whales

3. Uranus: over inflated ego, sightless action THE FOOL from the Thoth tarot! Eaten by a tiger. Except unlike the fool Uranus experiences the terror, the tiger leaps from the sun

4. Saturn: Earth, decomposition, sand, ashes, cold and damp.

5. Jupiter: Overconfidence, power drunk, temporary control of others, this never lasts of course, and is the planet of fallen leaders, but fallen leaders at their height. Ahh, but what a feeling.

6. Mars: of course this is the battle, but of a controlled method. This is not the planet of the berserker. This is talent and skill at the art of war, Sun Tzu. This is the beauty of war.

7. Earth: This is the dance, the heartbeat, drumming, stomping on the ground. Here is atlas carrying his load and Gaia carrying hers. This is also the release of these loved burdens, the world and the individual child, mortality of the masses vs. the mortality of your child. Earth is where we learn to lose that which we love. Earth is intimately involved with Saturn in this respect. Cosmologicly one could consider that the surface of the earth is the sphere of earth and that underfoot, cradled by the dirt of Gaia’s womb is Saturn. This is the 135°.

8. Venus is where you choose. Venus catches these falling dead babies and breaths life back into them through her bosom of life. Venus is the reflection of self. Venus reflects back to us what we are, like it or not. Not what we want to be, want to see, think we are. Venus is the antithesis of image management. Venus can kill the self through the self. Venus can also give us the power to love. This is the unconditional love of the gods. To love the self in all its ugliness is to love the all. What we see in the world that we hate, those things we loathe, these are reflections of ourselves. My fear of my grandmother’s dementia is fear of my own dementia. My fear of my mother’s death is fear of my own death. My hatred of injustice is the hatred of the injustices within myself. The immortal sees no reflection or sees the reflection of the ten thousand things when within the sphere of Venus.

9. Mercury: This is the yoga of art, reading, writing and study. Finding the self through understanding of all those things that make up the self. The more we discover the more we know what we are, the more we can accept our immortality. Paradigm shifting is an aspect of this. The student of magick, nay the student of existence, will do well to take this sphere seriously. We are born through our producing. We are born into our immortality via our generative force. If this force is but a puddle of effluvia on the floor then we are wasted. If this is the case, place a canvas on the floor to collect your workings!

10. Sun: From where all things are clear. One is simultaneously all these things and independent from them. What does one say about this state. Nothing.

The ritual conclusion left me exhausted and wet with sweet but feeling very clean, purified and healthy, even through this horrid cold, sinus infection, whatever the fuck illness that is still plaguing me.

In Frater Beenja’s ritual I participated as a drummer, circle guard and for a few fleeting moments here and there, the ghede. Nothing in the world like a good cigar, the smell of rum, bare feet and a dirt floor! When the ghede took me he took me and I was filled with the giddiest joy I have felt in a long time. Laughter filled my senses.

Beenja tried to take back the talisman at the end of the ritual. But there was a funny look in his eye, so I refused, and the look instantly left. Strange. But it is in a safe place. No worries, I will not be tricked by lingering spirits. I been roun de clock once oh twice mun!

2008-08-28T20:20:00.001-04:00

AM
CEPC and Sublimation

Didn’t perform for very long this morning. I woke up sick, was sick all day and am still sick now. This fucking sucks. I take this as a result, although a negative one. Perhaps I should begin focusing more on the quick and slow fires and the healing exorcises. Whatever, this is a call for me to get serious, get more organized about my practice, to practice more diligently. Perhaps monasticism is in order. If I am not better by tomorrow evening I will begin working on the tears of purification. I will try to push this illness out of me. This thing seems to have come from my grandmother who is sick in bed with bronchitis.